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Dear Gamepro AssCreed Reviewer. Watch this!
NO LONGER WORKS AT DESTRUCTOID | 3:43 AM on 11.17.2007 47 comments


Remember that 5 out of 5 perfect score you gave a game that everyone with any sense of gaming is beating up? Put aside the fact that you couldn't have actually played the same game as us all and watch this video. This is what an unfinished game looks like. Maybe in your version of the game, "Fucked up horse" was an unlockable though.

Keep up the good work destroying Gamepro with your fucking worthless reviews.

Bottom line, Gamepro gets a 6 out of 5



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41 comments | showing # 1 to 41
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ArrestedDeveloper's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/17/2007 03:58
ArrestedDeveloper
The thing that bugs me the most about assassin's creed is that guard want to attack me if I gallop on my horse by them. Why the crap do they care if I go fast on my horse? Though all in all I think I'm a little more content with the game then you are Ron.
Tristero's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/17/2007 04:00
Tristero
"Destroying" Gamepro? Honey, that dress was ruined when you bought it!
God Len's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/17/2007 04:02
God Len
how do you unlock horse fucking?
AngelsDontBurn's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/17/2007 04:08
AngelsDontBurn
LOL @ Tristero. God that's amazing and SO true. I thought of you when I saw that video earlier Ron, I thought you'd love it. Lol.

Plus Disturbed playing in the background just makes the bug that much worse.
Pedro Blandino's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/17/2007 04:27
Pedro Blandino
lawls, it's super horse!
Knivy's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/17/2007 05:15
Knivy
Hahaha, to me that actually looks fun =)
Hamza CTZ Aziz's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/17/2007 05:18
Hamza CTZ Aziz
This tip brought to you by the San Francisco division.
Batthink's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/17/2007 05:20
Batthink
That horse looks like it's mother took thalidomide or something! O_O
vampireblood's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/17/2007 05:32
vampireblood
Lol to that video, funny stuff! Didn't know you could screw up Assassins creed that much.

I should import the game (but I'm lazy, so I'll wait for the 21st Australia release date)
maxio098ui's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/17/2007 05:38
maxio098ui
poor horse
Aaron Mxy Yost's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/17/2007 06:43
Aaron Mxy Yost
Some shitty coder didn't finish this dog either. Oh, and happy late birthday.
BS3 Owner's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/17/2007 06:48
BS3 Owner
I think that was actually pretty cool.

----

@ Ron

Do you know What version that video was taken from? ( I know I had to ask! )
Gameboi's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/17/2007 06:56
Gameboi
It's hardly the best game ever, but I wouldn't go as far as to say it sucks. Overhyped? Yeah.
aborto thefetus's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/17/2007 07:56
aborto thefetus
It's Gamepro Ron. You're expecting way to much from a magazine that had The Family Guy game as a cover story.
Eschatos's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/17/2007 08:15
Eschatos
Don't worry, it's supposed to be that way. Horses only evolved to using four legs in the modern era.
PraiseChaos's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/17/2007 08:46
PraiseChaos
That's hilarious.
JonDarkwood's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/17/2007 09:37
JonDarkwood
Haha that has to be embarassing for the person who did those models.
Butmac's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/17/2007 09:52
Butmac
LOL @ "Poor thing run"
Brian Szabelski's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/17/2007 10:20
Brian Szabelski
Me thinks they don't have the best testers because they probably should've caught these errors.
DangerousD's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/17/2007 10:53
DangerousD
Is that minimum wage or what.
sleepingagain's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/17/2007 11:03
sleepingagain
lol i forgot gamepro even existed
Brandon Undead's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/17/2007 11:11
Brandon Undead
All games have glitches. One of my AI team mates in Gears of War got stuck in a wall once and couldn't open the door to the next area. Cannon room glitch in Twilight Princess. Oblivion- too many to count. Didn't make them "incomplete" games.

Navigate Destructoid some time. Bugs abound. Does that earn it a bad score?

I haven't even played Assassin's Creed but this is just a silly argument.
Cheeburga's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/17/2007 11:14
Cheeburga
Yeah me too Sleep.
Corak's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/17/2007 12:07
Corak
Yup a game has a glitch and its time to kill it. Call out a reviewer because you got a game to glitch and they didn't. -1000 internet points for you.
Variable Gear's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/17/2007 12:13
Variable Gear
How do you unlock good music for the video?
AngelsDontBurn's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/17/2007 12:15
AngelsDontBurn
OOO AH AH AH AH!
Sharpless's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/17/2007 12:25
Sharpless
Why is it so hard to believe that some people might actually like the game a lot? Not everyone is the same. What's the deal with people and this game?
king3vbo's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/17/2007 13:22
king3vbo
I lol'd as well
Namelessted's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/17/2007 13:42
Namelessted
That is a fucked up horse. And I thought Horse Armor sucked.
DangerousD's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/17/2007 14:41
DangerousD
Avengers: The Initiative #7 (Marvel - Slott / Caselli / Rudoni) - Once again, one of Marvel’s most underrated book scores big. This type of book is exactly what fans are looking for… if Civil War or World War Hulk was put together like the Initiative is, there wouldn’t any of this “Cup O’ Joe Doubt” that’s out there. In this issue, the Scarlet Spiders are prematurely released into the public eye as they track down secret Gamma files stolen by “The Vulturians” (nope, not making it up). These are d-list Spider-man villains that have stolen the Vulture’s technology and made a team. Wouldn’t you think if you were going to steal some bad guy’s technology, you might start a littler further up the ladder? What’s next… the Stilt-men? Anyway, there is a classically written first meeting of the Scarlet Spiders and Peter Parker himself… that ends with a growth of trust between Peter and these henchmen of Tony Stark’s… or are they? Dan Slott, once again, give s superb story and gives us great back story to the overall Initiative plot… with a huge reveal at end involving the true origin of the Scarlet Spiders. To quote J. Jonah Jameson “I hate clones!”. Stefano Caselli’s pencils are fantastically understated, giving a unique face to the body of this great story.

Issue Grade: A

Series Grade: A




People who buy comics got this people who bought games got this

One day he's gonna split something down there.
But there should totaly be a "Civil War" game.

O yeah movie goers got this.
DangerousD's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/17/2007 14:41
DangerousD
Avengers: The Initiative #7 (Marvel - Slott / Caselli / Rudoni) - Once again, one of Marvel’s most underrated book scores big. This type of book is exactly what fans are looking for… if Civil War or World War Hulk was put together like the Initiative is, there wouldn’t any of this “Cup O’ Joe Doubt” that’s out there. In this issue, the Scarlet Spiders are prematurely released into the public eye as they track down secret Gamma files stolen by “The Vulturians” (nope, not making it up). These are d-list Spider-man villains that have stolen the Vulture’s technology and made a team. Wouldn’t you think if you were going to steal some bad guy’s technology, you might start a littler further up the ladder? What’s next… the Stilt-men? Anyway, there is a classically written first meeting of the Scarlet Spiders and Peter Parker himself… that ends with a growth of trust between Peter and these henchmen of Tony Stark’s… or are they? Dan Slott, once again, give s superb story and gives us great back story to the overall Initiative plot… with a huge reveal at end involving the true origin of the Scarlet Spiders. To quote J. Jonah Jameson “I hate clones!”. Stefano Caselli’s pencils are fantastically understated, giving a unique face to the body of this great story.

Issue Grade: A

Series Grade: A




People who buy comics got this people who bought games got this

One day he's gonna split something down there.
But there should totaly be a "Civil War" game.

O yeah movie goers got this.
DangerousD's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/17/2007 14:43
DangerousD
Avengers: The Initiative #7 (Marvel - Slott / Caselli / Rudoni) - Once again, one of Marvel’s most underrated book scores big. This type of book is exactly what fans are looking for… if Civil War or World War Hulk was put together like the Initiative is, there wouldn’t any of this “Cup O’ Joe Doubt” that’s out there. In this issue, the Scarlet Spiders are prematurely released into the public eye as they track down secret Gamma files stolen by “The Vulturians” (nope, not making it up). These are d-list Spider-man villains that have stolen the Vulture’s technology and made a team. Wouldn’t you think if you were going to steal some bad guy’s technology, you might start a littler further up the ladder? What’s next… the Stilt-men? Anyway, there is a classically written first meeting of the Scarlet Spiders and Peter Parker himself… that ends with a growth of trust between Peter and these henchmen of Tony Stark’s… or are they? Dan Slott, once again, give s superb story and gives us great back story to the overall Initiative plot… with a huge reveal at end involving the true origin of the Scarlet Spiders. To quote J. Jonah Jameson “I hate clones!”. Stefano Caselli’s pencils are fantastically understated, giving a unique face to the body of this great story.

Issue Grade: A

Series Grade: A




People who buy comics got this people who bought games got this

One day he's gonna split something down there.
But there should totaly be a "Civil War" game.

O yeah movie goers got this.
MaxVest's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/17/2007 15:05
MaxVest
That's a special attack horse that can easily kick the crap out of other riders attempting to pass you. It's the middle ages equivalent of spiked rims on a car.
PwnyBownz's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/17/2007 17:13
PwnyBownz
This game, being the first to ever capture the motion of running and stopping accurately, has obviously fallen short in the equine anatomy dept. I dub thee "Fail-horse: The unhinged".
Joseph Leray's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/17/2007 20:09
Joseph Leray
@Rorschach -- not only is your name fucking hard to spell, but that's coooooolllld.

Too soon, too soon.
zaqu's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/18/2007 04:52
zaqu
with amount glitches and bugs you'd think they'd delay it a month

that or the 2 people that made up the QA team must have been in a ferious circle jerk
LarkOhiya's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/18/2007 09:37
LarkOhiya
Bubsy 3D called. They want their glitches back.
Kryptinite's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/19/2007 09:01
Kryptinite
Wow..that's disturbing.
Snaileb 's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/19/2007 09:25
Snaileb
tits.

Horse tits that is.
CarlostheJackal's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/19/2007 13:17
CarlostheJackal
That was a special amphibious horse, those back legs are for swimming and the front are for running. I think it is an interesting look in to the future of equine evolution.
itemforty's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/20/2007 00:04
itemforty
ugh, that makes me queasy for some reason.
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