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Today is a special day. A day handed to us from the God's in the heaven. Today is such a special day in fact, that I am going to stretch this shit out so that I dont give it away and you have no choice but to click on this story. If you do....
You find out the big secret BOOYAH!!! 
Today is Kevin Federlines 30th Birthday!!!! I swear to GODs I don't know how it creeped up so fast. So happy birthday K-fed. I dedicate my life to you today and offer you this gift. [Dtoiders take note: This is the greaterest thing EVAR!] and just in case you dont know who K-fed is watch this shit! He beat pro wrestling on the NES. Great Puma was his bitch and he needs to be recognized along side of that Donkey Kong dude, Steve Erkel. Im talking about mother fuckin heroes people. Show K-fed some poo-poo zao (Which I think means respect in Moonspeak)
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Living the dream since March 16, 2006
Also, happy birthday K-Fed, I guess?
This party is going to be off the higgle for bliggle
Just three?
How many kids is he up to anyway? Like, ten maybe twelve?
Shii', I didn't even get that foo' a present. He's goin' be all butt hurt.
Disproportionately long midget arms!!!
*jumps out window*
NO MORE MIDGET!! It's in my google talk, my email, my Destructoid... no more!!
Good deal if you ask me. :p
You see, J-T can walk down the street without anyone knowing/caring who he is but K-fed gets swamped by beautiful woman and papparazi. He just wants a normal life.
also k-fed has no street cred. but he does have fitted caps.