You have to hit the jump to know whats going on. i refuse to spill the beans on this because you decide that you are coll by reading the blub lines and your fat fingers cant click the mouse one last time to get to the meaty parts.



OK. I have a Jr. Matlock badge that I got when I was a kid. I also was honored with 2 sugar cookies, grape kool-aid (not grape drink btw) and 3 kisses from my mamaw. God made me have to investigate and understand things.

The way I discovered that there would be a BIG ROCK BAND ANNOUNCEMENT is Sir Nick of Chester. thats right. the Holy Grail of Rock Band info. This alone doesnt make much sense. let me explain through teh magik of teh numbaz.

Nick Chester makes consistant posts about Rock band or Rock Band 2 to be more specific.

Nicks last 25 posts have only yielded 5 Rock band posts.

Even more if you count his C-blog posts but much like theescapist, nobody actually reads them, they just go for zeropuntuation or to leave a comment to boost community rank even though its not nearly ....

BREAKING NEWS

In the process of writting this, Nick made another (Im not fucking kidding either) Rock Band post. I cant do teh good maths so lets say 5 out of the last 20 posts not including C-blogs.

So statistically Nicks stories are 25% or so Rock Band related.

We all know that Rock Band and Rock Band 2 account for close to 90% of all videos games on the market.

So what gives Nick? Whats the big news you are holding on to?
When I Googled for Nick Chester today I found this shocking evidence



Then I googled bigfoot and found this



Conspiracy?

other interesting facts:

Rumor has it that Nick Chester "Can't climax unless he hears the stupid drum clapping noise or the bass pedal thumping" according to Us weekly magazine April 2008.

At GDC 2008 I overhead Nick talking to Dale North (convicted drug dealer and known dendrophiliac) about Rock Band. Dale made the comment "If you love Rock Band so much why don't you marry it?" Nick replied "I will." Nick is married already. His wife probably knows she is on the way out.

In a neogaf forums post last June a poster named "NickC's Exwife" made the forum post, "My husband works for a MAJOR gaming site and loves to copulate with the Rock Band drum kits. I have to put pledge on it 3 times a day!" The only thing that doesn't fit here is the phrase "Major gaming site."

At this years E3, Harmonix had an all-time great band the Who play at its private concert. Major Nelson stated on his podcast late July 2008 "One of the guys from Dtoid was next to us screaming for them to play the drums on expert and then called them all pussies."

Nick rhymes with Dick. I know its subtle but just think about it.

Barack Obama - BA ROCK O BAMD - Rock Band = Hell of a coincidence

Harmonix - Har Man ix - Hairy Man Tix = Semantics? Only Old School Dtoiders know.

Bottom Line is that I forgot where I was going with this. Some about 12 Jew bankers and the New World Order, but I also found one more picture when Googling "Nick chester'



Look closely. Its from a post by... NAMELESSTED and he fucking sucks worse than Paris Hilton.

Conspiracy? I think not... SO! It all ties together like a stick!

Then I got a call from the ebumsworld and they gave me this....
Proof of the elusive Miley "Ray" Cyrax



Ive said too much already. Just remember to never say Rock Band as one word near Nick and dont trust what the governments tells you about the Cyrax that Steve Perry made in Mortal Kombats... music by Journey.

Cat Paws,
Frank J. Nintendo
"Stran on the Meat"