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Circuit Shitty's last days: Im Das Fortunetella (NVGR)
NO LONGER WORKS AT DESTRUCTOID | 1:19 PM on 04.09.2008 37 comments




If you get really bored, go back to some of the old Podtoid's where you friend Captain Greybush talked about a big happy American funtime company called Circuit Shitty. It seems that the common sense I discussed is finally hitting home to the fucktards that run the company.

Even trickling down to individual stores, I have always thought that everything about the store was uninviting when compared to Best Buy. Circuit Shitty did not take note of the mistake that Sears made back in the day and now they are paying for it.

This colapse really began at the tail end of the 90's when Circuit Shitty banded everything on Divx winning out over Blu-ray. Yes, I doubt that most of you know what in the fuck I am talking about. Basically, Circuit Shitty was at the forefront of a battle against DVD in the format wars. Much like HD-DVD vs. Blu-ray, but just without the public knowledge. Circuit Shitty lost big time. Fucking tons of money. They went on tell sell off the stake they had in Divx (Who laughably went on to become huge) and have been tumbling ever since.

I hate Circuit Shitty and I don't even know why. Oh, because they got themselves so high up in the layer cake that they forgot what shit smells like. The curse of many industry analysts. Well, Captain stupid fucking redneck Ron lives in Das Shitten, and I know what it smells like.

Congrats to all of the top brass at Circuit Shitty for destroying lives and pissing away insane amounts of trusting investors money. Punk bitches like you should have to serve prison time for the wake of your ignorance.

Im some stupid redneck that granted, does get paid from time to time to work as an analyst for companies like yourself... whoops, actually unlike you because these people have common sense and give a shit. It is often my job to make the future clear and determine what needs to be done to insure that those things are in the best interest of the investors. I know everybody is the worlds greatest arm-chair stock broker (If you dont know, thats like an armchair quarterback. A person that yells at the TV telling Brett Farvrrerve where the onpen man is and how Brett is an idiot for not have a 60 inch Plasma inside his helmt.) But when I ran through my "theory" that the big CC was going down, I actually had a ton of stuff to back it up.

Everytime I go into a chain store and they ask for my phone number I say no. Then they say they have to have it. Then I say I wont give it because I dont want phone calls because they go bankrupt and have to sell off the data. Then they say, OMG OMG we will never go under, than I say, look fuckbag, I dont have a phone, and when they move you from counter #4 to the head office, I will let you give me advice. Now ring up my blowup catsuit and let me fucking leave. Then my phone usually rings in my pocket around the same time. The point is, size doesnt matter. Ever heard of Enron? One of the biggest companies ever. MCI? As a matter of fact, they both went under in the same year. 2 of the top 5 biggest companies in the world fell in 1 year. In other words, faithful Circuit Shitty shoppers, enjoy your 3 AM calls from broken English Jones wanting to clean your carpet for 39 bucks.

Fuck you Circuit Shitty.

http://www.businessweek.com/bwdaily/dnflash/content/apr2008/db2008048_602083.htm?chan=top+news_top+news+index_businessweek+exclusives

Greybush mindless nonsensical rant over.

Go Cougars!



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33 comments | showing # 1 to 33
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MrSadistic's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/09/2008 13:51
MrSadistic
wtf I love you.
Butmac's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/09/2008 13:51
Butmac
Is this somehow related to the popular retailer Circuit CITY?
Because the names rhyme
Red TheHaze Veron's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/09/2008 13:53
Red TheHaze Veron
This is what they get for suing CheapyD. That dude is hooked up with Yakuza I tell ya.
EternalDarkWing's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/09/2008 13:53
EternalDarkWing
Awesome Cougars!
-D-'s Avatar - Comment posted on 04/09/2008 13:54
-D-
Lay off the cock, Workman. It makes you all kinds of angry.
DaedHead8's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/09/2008 13:54
DaedHead8
I'm not positive but I think I understand what happened here. Either way I laughed the whole time.
MechaMonkey's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/09/2008 13:55
MechaMonkey
Where did you get your catsuit? I've been trying to do some price comparisons, but it's hard to find two retailers with similar quality catsuits.
DrkAdonis's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/09/2008 13:56
DrkAdonis
Hah. Ron, tell us how you really feel.
Snaileb 's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/09/2008 13:58
Snaileb
We have a circut shitty now?

Nice rant. Fuck most big retailer stores that do this kind of garbage anyways.
AgentMOO's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/09/2008 13:59
AgentMOO
Good, they are going to close that shithole near me that is always consumed by the rhythmic thumping of bass from test units. The only thing they had going for them was that they put their units of high demand consoles just about all online so it was an easier place to get them.
HarassmentPanda's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/09/2008 14:17
HarassmentPanda
Part of your hate may be because the Sarasota Circuit City may have been the most awful place on the planet for a long time.

Also, "This colapse really began at the tail end of the 90's when Circuit Shitty banded everything on Divx winning out over Blu-ray." Should say: "This colapse really began at the tail end of the 90's when Circuit Shitty banded everything on Divx winning out over DVD."
ScottyG's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/09/2008 14:23
ScottyG
Go cougars indeed.


Where I live we have "The Source: By Circuit City" which is also a pretty shitty company... even worse than Futureshop.
Cheeburga's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/09/2008 14:28
Cheeburga
AWESOME COUGARS
SLiFE's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/09/2008 14:30
SLiFE
The Source is a 3rd rate Radio Shack knockoff. Waaaay worse than Futureshop.

And fuck the Cougars.

WOLVERINES!
Sharpless's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/09/2008 14:35
Sharpless
You're likable.
Vlambo's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/09/2008 14:50
Vlambo
But the Source is Radioshack SLiFE.
king3vbo's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/09/2008 14:51
king3vbo
Graybush never seeks to amaze me with his pure, burning hate
king3vbo's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/09/2008 15:10
king3vbo
FUCK did I just say "Graybush"?

DAMMIT I meant Greybush
TrailerParkJesus's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/09/2008 15:17
TrailerParkJesus
lol fuckbag
kawitchate's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/09/2008 15:58
kawitchate
i get it!
i think i get it.
...what?
Puppetpallmich's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/09/2008 16:10
Puppetpallmich
i work at the shtty and the store isnt that bad. but the corprate aspect of it is so fucking stupid. i hate the logo its retarted, the name and the look inside the store, but my co workers are cool. the products we sell are shit and our computer techbench is majorly gimped compared to geek squad. they need more options for the computers they sell, to change the name of firedog back to iq crew and to have products in stock at all times. the people in the store do the best we can with our recorces, but sometimes i dont see you and you need to ask me when u need help becuase i have to reorganize this entire isle again becuase corporate changed their minds from yesterday to today. also i work at one of the "important" stores in the richmond, va area so we get all the new shit that comes out. i was going to complain about pay but it seems like they are going to go back to somthing similar to commision in the next few months.
AngelsDontBurn's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/09/2008 16:13
AngelsDontBurn
Lolololololol
mid3vol's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/09/2008 16:14
mid3vol
haha, it's funny seeing you rant because it doesn't happen as often as it should. good stuff.
the GAMEGOBLIN's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/09/2008 16:15
the GAMEGOBLIN
No Circuit City here, and i like it that way ;)
Hitogoroshi's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/09/2008 16:18
Hitogoroshi
Wait who is Marissa?
Sharpless's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/09/2008 16:42
Sharpless
@Puppet
Seriously, what the fuck is up with "Firedog"? How the hell does that make sense?
wardrox's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/09/2008 16:46
wardrox
I... agree?
Kryptinite's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/09/2008 16:51
Kryptinite
@scottyG...I would run through all of them.
AgentMOO's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/09/2008 17:52
AgentMOO
@Sharpless
Awful internet boom trend of naming companies using the formula (Dynamic sounding word) + (Animal Name).
lumberjackrock's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/09/2008 22:40
lumberjackrock
@puppet
never say they are gimped compared geek squad. the squad doesn't even do their own work, typically. I've worked at BB and CompUSA (til they failed in an epic way). Comp had the best tech bench.
But yeah, fuck all these places. Corporate always fucks everyone over for the moooooonies.
Shinsune's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/15/2008 15:30
Shinsune
Circuit Shitty does have some pretty sweet online deals though. Pre order Ninga Gaiden 2 and you get the legendary map pack for free. They email you a code for it in like a week.
Dezzy's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/10/2008 17:32
Dezzy
Firedog is Circuit City's Geek Squad. Their terrible reasoning for the name is that its "fast, intelligent service that is man's best friend." I have worked in the store for a while. Trust me...everyone thinks its a terrible name.
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