[Update] Cashwh0re (Formerly Destructoid) is proud to bring you the review you have been waiting for... Kane and Lynch: Dead Men, sponsored by Kane and Lynch:Dean Men!
Final verdict: 11 out of 10!
Our hearts go out to everyone that left Gamespot in the wake of Kane and Lynchgate 07' and we totally agree with what you are doing. Even those of you that were fired. Please keep in mind that Rev. Anthony reviewed the game for Destructoid and gave it a 3 out of 10. So, if you think we are selling out...Phew! There is nothing else that I can tell you.
CASHWH0RE FOR EVA!!!!
Update: I am really glad that everyone liked the video. The one thing that really makes me sad about all of this, is come Monday, Jeff is going to be ripped apart by a PR team. It has already started with people saying he was fired weeks ago. It's just not true. While I can't talk about specifics, the dude did get fucked over no matter what you hear. The fact that Eidos could have 1% influence over him being fired is 1% more than GS should have allowed. This all clearly happened. People didn't even know about this until GS reacted to the situation. They pulled the video, edited his post, and Eidos switched ads. Nothing to see here is just not going to cut it on this one.
User reviews were blocked on the 30th and I do understand why. Every review coming in was a 1.0 backlash. But you know what? Fuck it... You reap what you sow! (or sew depending on where you are from)
Any GS former staff needing a home, you have one here.
PS Thanks to everyone at Digg that supports and gets what the video is about. I really expected a ton of asshole comments like, "you spelled too wrong idiot." It's awesome to see that the message (the fact that I get to be an asshole) is the most important part. I am really happy to see that people get what I was trying to say.
Answer bag
Whats the song at the end? The song at the end is the Eurythmics - Sweet Dreams (Angello & Ingross Remix)
Was that 2g1c? Yes the piano song is 2girls1cup
What's up with 7 out of 10 IGN? I have some friends there and its a joke. Also, IGN's review scale is kind of a 7 out of 10. Dtoid uses a true 1 - 10 scale if you haven't noticed.
Surfergirl comment? Well... I am really tired of people "Claiming" that surfergirl is breaking news. Don't get me wrong, I don't hate her and I'm not trying to bash her, but it's just a random blogspot of a mid-40's PR lady in the industry that works or trolls Gamasutra. She just hears rumors and very little of it is concrete. THERE IS NO JOB IN THIS INDUSTRY WHERE YOU HEAR IF EVERY RUMOR IS TRUE. As some of you know, .......... .[redacted].............., I can say that there are things on her blog that she states will not happen and they are happening. FOR SURE. Aside from that... WTF does 2d/3d or cell shaded mean? Was 4d taken?
And stop giving her credit about the Ghostbusters game. That shit had been around forever. It can be an entertaining read, but writing "May or may not be" and being super vague is easy.
Gamestop management "May or may not be" total fucking assholes. See?
Hey Ron, how much would it cost for you to sell out on a review? $20,000 bucks. 11 out of 10 everytime. But, for that money, I plan on spending it to buy copies of said game and give them out. I also will make it clear that I am a sellout. For 20k I will give you your monies worth in video, contests, and maybe even midgets. Pheonix-blood for $4 I will do anything you want as long as it involves my penis and your vagina, or toy trains.
Update: I now have this item for sale on ebay Click here to buy it now!
Ron are you worried about being sued? Its happened before. Who fucking cares. As long as the message gets out there its worth it. Advertisers should have zero editorial input. My goals have always been to change this industry. I am a gamer. Not a writer, not a Game dev. I am just some fucking random ass dude that likes gaming. The user should have a say. It would be awesome if GS came after me. They would have to disclose info publicly about firing Jeff which would make my fucking day. Look for "Ron Workman's Legal fund" soon.
@Neuraal Yep, I'm not on there. My mom noticed it today. Then she beat me with a hose.
PS if you really want too, there is a Petition going around that you can sign.
PSS A few people think this is about money and us serving ads. The reason I posted this on a Cblog and not the front page is because WE HAVE NO PAID ADS ON OUR COMMUNITY BLOGS! I did it for the message not for hits or ad revenue. The X-marks the spot ads at the top are there because we are part of the contest. We were givin no money to put it up.
I'd love to see more of these CashWh0re reviews. Sure, Destructoid reviews give mostly honest, balanced opinions of the game, plus added balance from the opinions of the CBloggers, but CashWh0re builds hype from a pile of crap!
On a scale of 1 to awesome, cashwhore.com gives Kane and Lynch: Dead Men an Amazing out of 5! That's an honest, reliable, trustworthy review right there!
I had to wait all day to see this but it was well worth it. I've been sitting through screeners of films that are being considered for WAFCA awards and this was the best thing I've seen all day. I'm nominating you Ron for all of them.
Destructoid is an open discussion community. You don't need to "audition" to post a comment - just speak your mind. We respect differing opinions on the site, so have at it. Be smart, funny, insightful, clueless, or cute -- but back it up with substance. Keep your cool, keep it fun. We only ask that you act respectfully and above all: don't be a troll and ruin it for everyone else. Don't bring down gamers or we'll, you know, gently shoot you in the face and stuff you into a flaming mailbox. Each comment is your opportuntity to make this community awesomer. Is that even a word?
Avoiding the banhammer only requires common sense: spamming, trolling, racism, NSFW stuff, and other forms of sucking will not be tolerated. If anyone is griefing please report abuse. Be good. Don't suck!
about me
If you want to know whats going on with me outside of gaming, I now keep a Tumblr blog and plan to write on it pretty often. Everybody says that though. Follow me on Twitter
http://twitter.com/ronworkman
Look I drink...
Name: Ron
Age: 99 According to Myspace which never lies
Location: Sarasota, Florida. USA America
Me: I was born and raised a small black child in Kantucky. I don't remember what I did there aside from drink. I was an only child, so I didn't want to be a virgin forever so I packed up everything on my horse, kissed my coon dog, turned white, and headed to Florida. I have worked in a few different tech industries for companies like Apple Microsoft, Sun, and actually owned a business installing high end home theaters and networks.
I enjoy playing video games, fuckin, racist comments, drinking, making fun of NamelessTed, funny cblog posts, drinking, bashing Paris Hilton every chance I get (She is a dumb whore!) and flea market porno.
I have been in a few Mexican Cockfights and have done some awesome shit concerning video games, but its just not going to change me. Im just a guy that loves gaming. Its always going to be that way. I might have a solid gold house and a rocketcar, but all I need is this community, booze, games, mouse, and I'll be fine. Look for me on the new season of "Cops"
Destructoid is an independently-run publication forged by our love of video games and the gaming community's need of accountable enthusiast press living the dream since March 16, 2006
I'm going to buy 11 copies!
EPIC! MOAR!
Sad thing is I beat this piece of shit game last night.
*cries in the corner*
Fuck yeah!
Though what is the average price for an 11 out of 10?
Glad to see it has sound, so many modern games overlook that feature.
It so beautiful......and definitely has sound!
I'd love to see more of these CashWh0re reviews. Sure, Destructoid reviews give mostly honest, balanced opinions of the game, plus added balance from the opinions of the CBloggers, but CashWh0re builds hype from a pile of crap!
That was so phresh. I've been looking for a multiplayer game to oust Crysis ever since it came out....what?
It has sound! 11 out of 10!
No longer available video is no longer available
Lol amazing Ron. Gotta love the 2 girls 1 cup song. LMAO!
69 out of 10
It has sound!!
Awesome.
If i give you 50 bucks would you sell me the dtoid helmet?? I mean, since this site now is a entire auction.
Best Destructoid review ever! I'm sure Rev totally agrees!
Best Destructoid review ever! I'm sure Rev totally agrees!
Yeah, I guess my computer crapped out for some reason, it works now.
"Multi-mutiplayer"
KAYNE AND LINCH GETZ 1 BILLYUN OUT OF DIEZ
What? Only an 11?!?!?!
I bet you didn't even finish the game =P
PS:<3 Dtoid and epic video is epic.
Brilliant. This is why you are so very popular and insanely rich.
The fart noise at the very, very end pulls it all together. 15/10.
Brilliant.
On a scale of 1 to awesome, cashwhore.com gives Kane and Lynch: Dead Men an Amazing out of 5! That's an honest, reliable, trustworthy review right there!
Lol-tastic video is lol-tastic.
Good Times.
"Sound... it has it."
I laughed out loud at that part.
Oh god.... that was amazing
FIVE MUTIE THUMBS UP!!!11
Um Ron YOUR FIRED. Kane & Lynch deserves a 20/10.
I love you.
best site ever ever....ever
...I fucking love this site.
OMG IT GOT A 7 FROM IGN BEST GAME EVAR.
epic
epic
epic
epic
Where are my 11 out of 10 minutes of credits!?
Ron, bring me to SpikeTV's VGA with you. I'll get the drinks for both you and Jeff.
i have $4, what will that get me?
that was the single greatest video ever.. 11 out of 10!
lol
I had to wait all day to see this but it was well worth it. I've been sitting through screeners of films that are being considered for WAFCA awards and this was the best thing I've seen all day. I'm nominating you Ron for all of them.
LMAO!!!
Maybe this video should be embedded on Gamespot?
Oh shit yeah, This video has to be uploaded to their user videos section...
Damn I used to go to Gamespot for reviews but now I guess they cant be trusted.
I guess metacritic.com will be my source for reviews form now on....oh and Destructoid.com as well :D
Van I have your hairy drunk babies?
No really I'm making soup.
Van = Can. I so fail.
Goddamnit Ron, that was fucking genius. I havent laughed that hard in a long ass time
Am I the only one who noticed that the music near the middle was from 2girls1cup hahahahah
I love the part of the credits with my name in it.
Oh wait.
http://i10.tinypic.com/6pzf5hl.jpg
Fail.
Sorry was lazy
2girls1cup sent me forty cents and some bottle caps, so I give that video an 11 out of 10 as well. Personal ethics high five, Workmeng!
What backflip said. "we are to dumb to sell out" hahahaha.
Is that someone in a wheelchair riding a unicorn at the very end?
If so, AWESOME.