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Heretic was banned so I guess it's safe for me to start blogging again
Riser Glen | 6:40 AM on 01.02.2009 55 comments




Honestly, I really don't know why I stopped blogging. Maybe it's just my real life taking over or maybe it's the dream I had about Christian Bale that I refused to wake up from until now.

I'm not gay. It's called Bromance. Look it up.

But since I took the time to add text to that picture of ElectroLemon, I guess I should talk about the vidja.

I've been playing a lot of Super Street Fighter II Turbo HD Remix. I'm not that great at it but I love learning it. I still jump far too much and go for reversals that I shouldn't go for, but it's satisfying to get better at. I just need to break bad habits instilled in me from playing Street Fighter III: 3rd Strike so much (you actually have to deal with fireballs instead of just parrying them? HOLY SHIT!)

I also rented Sonic Unleashed. Dear Lord is it bad. It makes me want to go back and play Sonic and the Secret Rings again. I don't even think the running levels are all that good. At least not good enough to suffer through the Werehog levels. Don't even get me started on the towns. DON'T EVEN GET ME STA-DED.

And I watched Twilight. I know it's not a video game but it's so bad I just had to write down my hate for it somewhere. The writer of the book is Mormon, so everyone knows her stance on doing stuff with things. So it's pretty clear that the vampires biting people is a metaphor for sex and that by not biting the chick with the gigantic forehead, the alleged gorgeous vampire is abstaining from becoming intimate with her. But then he talks about how he abstains from biting humans by biting animals? So in the end Twilight is a movie that sells an abstinence-only stance and suggests you only have sex with animals before marriage instead. HOT. I never knew that Mormons were into that kind of shit. I guess I'll have to hide my dogs the next time they knock on my door.

Anyway, I'm tired. Bye bye.



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55 comments | showing # 1 to 50

prev next 50 comments

power-glove's Destructoid Blog
Riser, that new banner is awesome.
blehman's Destructoid Blog
...who are you?
Justice's Destructoid Blog
"I never knew that Mormons were into that kind of shit."

Don't most Mormons have more wives than there are Pokemon? Get to know! For some reason every girl I know that has watched the film seems to think it's amazing.

"I also rented Sonic Unleashed. Dear Lord is it bad. It makes me want to go back and play Sonic and the Secret Rings again."

NO WAI! I haven't been bothered to get to a Warehog section yet but there is nothing that could drive me back to Secret Rings. I can't believe I asked for it that christmas. What a waste.
mid3vol's Destructoid Blog
wait wait.. did you PAY to see twilight? >.>
Nick Chester's Destructoid Blog
Yeah, that header is pure fucking awesome. The town areas in Sonic Unleashed are THE WORST. I think everything in between, especially the fast roller-coaster Sonic levels aren't THAT BAD. But that town shit really, really killed the game. And having to collect medals just to keep playing new areas? Unbelievable.
EternalDeathSlayer's Destructoid Blog
The banner wins.
RonBurgandy2010's Destructoid Blog
Please don't mention Bromance. I can't fucking stand MTV.
Riser Glen's Destructoid Blog
Hey watch your mouth, pal. Bromance was between House and Wilson before those douchebags as MTV stole it from them.
007's Destructoid Blog
Bromance? Really, Glen? REALLY?!


Yeah, we've been in need of some Bale love in the C Blogs lately. Too bad you've been too "busy" to provide us with some. Asshat.
007's Destructoid Blog
Also, to that comment about Mormons...


Jon Heder. That is all.
Professor Pew's Destructoid Blog
Welcome to Destructoid, nice introduction!

...show us your tits...
BS3 Owner's Destructoid Blog
@ Riser

LOOOOONG TIme Indeed.
BTW FTW! Banner, is FTW!

Also, What Professor Pew Said, " Tits. "
Pangloss's Destructoid Blog
I didn't even know Heretic was banned. In memory of his stupid ass, I will pour a forty out directly into my mouth. Or fuck it, I'll just get some Guinness on the way home.

Also, fuck Twilight. My sister was explaining to me how wonderful the books are, and I'm like, "WOW! Could this be a METAPHOR? It's so very subtle." She wouldn't talk to me for a couple days. Sorry, if you want to sell me on a book like that, the last thing you should do is give a plot summary. Additonally, since the dude is like a thousand years old despite forever having an 18 year old's body, he is totally a pedophile. The standard age limit formula for non-creepy relationships is [your age/2+7], and that girl is clearly not in her 500s.
Cataract's Destructoid Blog
You forgot to mention the color blue when talking about Twilight.

TEN POINTS FROM GRYFFINDOR.
Niero's Destructoid Blog
Haha, nice banner.

I apologize to everyone for letting some community people take advantage of the leniency of our community rules. I'm going to be enforcing the "don't suck" banhammer on anyone who's widely accepted as bullies, beginning with Heretic and Reaprar. I'm determined to making your experience using comments and c-blogs better this year.
MrSadistic's Destructoid Blog
bromance is just a fancy, denial way to say you're curiously gay
Riser Glen's Destructoid Blog
@MrBigot

Maybe if you're afraid to hold another man's gaze. I've never been afraid to hold another man's gaze. It's natural.
Projectexodus's Destructoid Blog
@Niero

That sounds awesome Niero! But in the name of hell, dont turn into Kotaku! O_O
MrSadistic's Destructoid Blog
I like it when I feel safe in another man's strong arms and I can like stay there forever while we talk about sports.
Riser Glen's Destructoid Blog
That's Bromance!
masterledz's Destructoid Blog
"Honestly, I really don't know why I stopped blogging. Maybe it's just my real life taking over or maybe it's the dream I had about Christian Bale that I refused to wake up from until now."

We must be having the same dream. Does it involve Twinkies and bondage fellation as well?
masterledz's Destructoid Blog
"Honestly, I really don't know why I stopped blogging. Maybe it's just my real life taking over or maybe it's the dream I had about Christian Bale that I refused to wake up from until now."

We must be having the same dream. Does it involve Twinkies and bondage fellatio as well?
NotAZombie's Destructoid Blog
@ Neiro

Cool! Just like Project said, don't make it into the "utopia" of Kotaku. We always need some people for flavor.
Y0j1mb0's Destructoid Blog
Dear Lord that banner is awesome!
The Incredible Edible Egg's Destructoid Blog
I don't understand whats going on, so I'm going to dance!
AngelsDontBurn's Destructoid Blog
That banner is god! Niero wouldn't let it turn into Kotaku. :)

I had no idea Reaprar was banned. So I guess that's why I haven't seen him bashing all of the newbie C-Blogs. I was wondering what was going on.

Woooo! I'll give YOU some bromance! :D
NihonTiger90's Destructoid Blog
They both got banhammered? Wow.

And amazing banner, Riser!
MEE's Destructoid Blog
@niero - i might start watching what i respond to sucky newbies then.
Dudemullet's Destructoid Blog
I've got such a boner right now, omg.
BigPopaGamer's Destructoid Blog
The banner was the best part of this cblog. I approve.
Das Inchworm's Destructoid Blog
the demoman's son is the best part of this blog.
RonBurgandy2010's Destructoid Blog
I don't really think Reaprar deserved to be banned. Sure he had his moments (which, from my experience, was an acceptable level of infrequence) but he wasn't that bad.
the GAMEGOBLIN's Destructoid Blog
You completely tore me apart in HD Remix Riser

On the plus side I finally found out how to do the shoryuken but I get punched in the throat before I get to use it

How do I Street Fighter ;_;

And start bloggin' bro
Brilliam's Destructoid Blog
SFIV BUGS ME BECAUSE THERE'S NO PARRYING. Also, cocks. I mean, SFIII characters. Why can't the world realize the glory that is 3rd strike :( :( :(
Qraze's Destructoid Blog
banner is awesome. nice take on twilght, i haven't seen it yet.
Qraze's Destructoid Blog
banner is awesome. nice take on twilght, i haven't seen it yet.
Jonathan Holmes's Destructoid Blog
Good to have you back, Riser.

(Leaves to go tell Luc Bernard that Reaprar was banned).
Mxyzptlk's Destructoid Blog
Welcome back sir. I missed your Cblogs. We also have to play some SSF2HFHD sometime.
AgentMOO's Destructoid Blog
Riser: Bromancing the stone

Welcome back to cblogs, green lantern hammer spammer!
pedrovay2003's Destructoid Blog
Wow, you've been gone for a while.

And I actually really liked Sonic and the Secret Rings, but yeah, Unleashed is a bit rough.
liam2015's Destructoid Blog
Just stopping by to say that new banner is spiffy.

Also, good to see you again.

I guess.
ZekeThePlumber's Destructoid Blog
Thank you for reaffirming my stance to never see Twilight. I find bestiality best enjoyed without the use of metaphor.
Necros's Destructoid Blog
So, I guess I'll just keep on avoiding Twilight then. And Sonic Unleashed. Also, welcome back to blogging! I should do the same...
Char Aznable's Destructoid Blog
You don't think you're that good in Street Fighter? Damn, well...you kicked my ass a few times.
RICHARD BLOCKER's Destructoid Blog
Welcome back. I could use some more c-blogs to break up my monotonous work day.

I never really found heretic or reaprar offensive, but I'm the type of guy who showed "1 guy 1 cup" to his own elderly mother.
ace of knaves's Destructoid Blog
Heretic and Reaprar got banned?! Damn, that actually really upsets me.
Holyetheline's Destructoid Blog
Your theory behind Twilight made perfect sense! haha
Shin Oni's Destructoid Blog
I came for the banner. I stay cause we make hot 3rd strike sex.
AgentMOO's Destructoid Blog
Wait, Reaprar is gone too? I thought that bro slowed his troll
007's Destructoid Blog
Reaprar is gone? I don't really think he deserved to be banned... but OK.


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