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Heretic was banned so I guess it's safe for me to start blogging again
Riser Glen | 6:40 AM on 01.02.2009 55 comments




Honestly, I really don't know why I stopped blogging. Maybe it's just my real life taking over or maybe it's the dream I had about Christian Bale that I refused to wake up from until now.

I'm not gay. It's called Bromance. Look it up.

But since I took the time to add text to that picture of ElectroLemon, I guess I should talk about the vidja.

I've been playing a lot of Super Street Fighter II Turbo HD Remix. I'm not that great at it but I love learning it. I still jump far too much and go for reversals that I shouldn't go for, but it's satisfying to get better at. I just need to break bad habits instilled in me from playing Street Fighter III: 3rd Strike so much (you actually have to deal with fireballs instead of just parrying them? HOLY SHIT!)

I also rented Sonic Unleashed. Dear Lord is it bad. It makes me want to go back and play Sonic and the Secret Rings again. I don't even think the running levels are all that good. At least not good enough to suffer through the Werehog levels. Don't even get me started on the towns. DON'T EVEN GET ME STA-DED.

And I watched Twilight. I know it's not a video game but it's so bad I just had to write down my hate for it somewhere. The writer of the book is Mormon, so everyone knows her stance on doing stuff with things. So it's pretty clear that the vampires biting people is a metaphor for sex and that by not biting the chick with the gigantic forehead, the alleged gorgeous vampire is abstaining from becoming intimate with her. But then he talks about how he abstains from biting humans by biting animals? So in the end Twilight is a movie that sells an abstinence-only stance and suggests you only have sex with animals before marriage instead. HOT. I never knew that Mormons were into that kind of shit. I guess I'll have to hide my dogs the next time they knock on my door.

Anyway, I'm tired. Bye bye.



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55 comments | showing # 1 to 50
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next 50 comments

power-glove's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/02/2009 07:34
power-glove
Riser, that new banner is awesome.
blehman's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/02/2009 07:37
blehman
...who are you?
Justice's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/02/2009 08:03
Justice
"I never knew that Mormons were into that kind of shit."

Don't most Mormons have more wives than there are Pokemon? Get to know! For some reason every girl I know that has watched the film seems to think it's amazing.

"I also rented Sonic Unleashed. Dear Lord is it bad. It makes me want to go back and play Sonic and the Secret Rings again."

NO WAI! I haven't been bothered to get to a Warehog section yet but there is nothing that could drive me back to Secret Rings. I can't believe I asked for it that christmas. What a waste.
mid3vol's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/02/2009 08:32
mid3vol
wait wait.. did you PAY to see twilight? >.>
Nick Chester's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/02/2009 08:37
Nick Chester
Yeah, that header is pure fucking awesome. The town areas in Sonic Unleashed are THE WORST. I think everything in between, especially the fast roller-coaster Sonic levels aren't THAT BAD. But that town shit really, really killed the game. And having to collect medals just to keep playing new areas? Unbelievable.
EternalDeathSlayer's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/02/2009 08:49
EternalDeathSlayer
The banner wins.
RonBurgandy2010's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/02/2009 09:00
RonBurgandy2010
Please don't mention Bromance. I can't fucking stand MTV.
Riser Glen's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/02/2009 09:02
Riser Glen
Hey watch your mouth, pal. Bromance was between House and Wilson before those douchebags as MTV stole it from them.
007's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/02/2009 09:05
007
Bromance? Really, Glen? REALLY?!


Yeah, we've been in need of some Bale love in the C Blogs lately. Too bad you've been too "busy" to provide us with some. Asshat.
007's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/02/2009 09:08
007
Also, to that comment about Mormons...


Jon Heder. That is all.
Maurice Tan's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/02/2009 09:19
Maurice Tan
Welcome to Destructoid, nice introduction!

...show us your tits...
BS3 Owner's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/02/2009 09:39
BS3 Owner
@ Riser

LOOOOONG TIme Indeed.
BTW FTW! Banner, is FTW!

Also, What Professor Pew Said, " Tits. "
Pangloss's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/02/2009 10:21
Pangloss
I didn't even know Heretic was banned. In memory of his stupid ass, I will pour a forty out directly into my mouth. Or fuck it, I'll just get some Guinness on the way home.

Also, fuck Twilight. My sister was explaining to me how wonderful the books are, and I'm like, "WOW! Could this be a METAPHOR? It's so very subtle." She wouldn't talk to me for a couple days. Sorry, if you want to sell me on a book like that, the last thing you should do is give a plot summary. Additonally, since the dude is like a thousand years old despite forever having an 18 year old's body, he is totally a pedophile. The standard age limit formula for non-creepy relationships is [your age/2+7], and that girl is clearly not in her 500s.
Cataract's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/02/2009 10:31
Cataract
You forgot to mention the color blue when talking about Twilight.

TEN POINTS FROM GRYFFINDOR.
Niero's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/02/2009 10:31
Niero
Haha, nice banner.

I apologize to everyone for letting some community people take advantage of the leniency of our community rules. I'm going to be enforcing the "don't suck" banhammer on anyone who's widely accepted as bullies, beginning with Heretic and Reaprar. I'm determined to making your experience using comments and c-blogs better this year.
MrSadistic's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/02/2009 10:35
MrSadistic
bromance is just a fancy, denial way to say you're curiously gay
Riser Glen's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/02/2009 10:38
Riser Glen
@MrBigot

Maybe if you're afraid to hold another man's gaze. I've never been afraid to hold another man's gaze. It's natural.
Projectexodus's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/02/2009 10:40
Projectexodus
@Niero

That sounds awesome Niero! But in the name of hell, dont turn into Kotaku! O_O
MrSadistic's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/02/2009 10:45
MrSadistic
I like it when I feel safe in another man's strong arms and I can like stay there forever while we talk about sports.
Riser Glen's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/02/2009 10:46
Riser Glen
That's Bromance!
masterledz's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/02/2009 10:48
masterledz
"Honestly, I really don't know why I stopped blogging. Maybe it's just my real life taking over or maybe it's the dream I had about Christian Bale that I refused to wake up from until now."

We must be having the same dream. Does it involve Twinkies and bondage fellation as well?
masterledz's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/02/2009 10:48
masterledz
"Honestly, I really don't know why I stopped blogging. Maybe it's just my real life taking over or maybe it's the dream I had about Christian Bale that I refused to wake up from until now."

We must be having the same dream. Does it involve Twinkies and bondage fellatio as well?
NotAZombie's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/02/2009 10:57
NotAZombie
@ Neiro

Cool! Just like Project said, don't make it into the "utopia" of Kotaku. We always need some people for flavor.
Y0j1mb0's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/02/2009 11:06
Y0j1mb0
Dear Lord that banner is awesome!
The Incredible Edible Egg's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/02/2009 11:20
The Incredible Edible Egg
I don't understand whats going on, so I'm going to dance!
AngelsDontBurn's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/02/2009 11:25
AngelsDontBurn
That banner is god! Niero wouldn't let it turn into Kotaku. :)

I had no idea Reaprar was banned. So I guess that's why I haven't seen him bashing all of the newbie C-Blogs. I was wondering what was going on.

Woooo! I'll give YOU some bromance! :D
Brian Szabelski's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/02/2009 11:26
Brian Szabelski
They both got banhammered? Wow.

And amazing banner, Riser!
MEE's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/02/2009 11:27
MEE
@niero - i might start watching what i respond to sucky newbies then.
Dudemullet's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/02/2009 11:30
Dudemullet
I've got such a boner right now, omg.
BigPopaGamer's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/02/2009 11:39
BigPopaGamer
The banner was the best part of this cblog. I approve.
Das Inchworm's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/02/2009 11:44
Das Inchworm
the demoman's son is the best part of this blog.
RonBurgandy2010's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/02/2009 11:57
RonBurgandy2010
I don't really think Reaprar deserved to be banned. Sure he had his moments (which, from my experience, was an acceptable level of infrequence) but he wasn't that bad.
the GAMEGOBLIN's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/02/2009 11:58
the GAMEGOBLIN
You completely tore me apart in HD Remix Riser

On the plus side I finally found out how to do the shoryuken but I get punched in the throat before I get to use it

How do I Street Fighter ;_;

And start bloggin' bro
Brilliam's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/02/2009 12:08
Brilliam
SFIV BUGS ME BECAUSE THERE'S NO PARRYING. Also, cocks. I mean, SFIII characters. Why can't the world realize the glory that is 3rd strike :( :( :(
Qraze's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/02/2009 12:16
Qraze
banner is awesome. nice take on twilght, i haven't seen it yet.
Qraze's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/02/2009 12:16
Qraze
banner is awesome. nice take on twilght, i haven't seen it yet.
Jonathan Holmes's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/02/2009 12:21
Jonathan Holmes
Good to have you back, Riser.

(Leaves to go tell Luc Bernard that Reaprar was banned).
Aaron Mxy Yost's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/02/2009 12:23
Aaron Mxy Yost
Welcome back sir. I missed your Cblogs. We also have to play some SSF2HFHD sometime.
AgentMOO's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/02/2009 12:23
AgentMOO
Riser: Bromancing the stone

Welcome back to cblogs, green lantern hammer spammer!
pedrovay2003's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/02/2009 12:40
pedrovay2003
Wow, you've been gone for a while.

And I actually really liked Sonic and the Secret Rings, but yeah, Unleashed is a bit rough.
liam2015's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/02/2009 12:45
liam2015
Just stopping by to say that new banner is spiffy.

Also, good to see you again.

I guess.
ZekeThePlumber's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/02/2009 12:46
ZekeThePlumber
Thank you for reaffirming my stance to never see Twilight. I find bestiality best enjoyed without the use of metaphor.
Bob Muir's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/02/2009 13:10
Bob Muir
So, I guess I'll just keep on avoiding Twilight then. And Sonic Unleashed. Also, welcome back to blogging! I should do the same...
Char Aznable's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/02/2009 13:26
Char Aznable
You don't think you're that good in Street Fighter? Damn, well...you kicked my ass a few times.
RICHARD BLOCKER's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/02/2009 13:34
RICHARD BLOCKER
Welcome back. I could use some more c-blogs to break up my monotonous work day.

I never really found heretic or reaprar offensive, but I'm the type of guy who showed "1 guy 1 cup" to his own elderly mother.
ace of knaves's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/02/2009 13:49
ace of knaves
Heretic and Reaprar got banned?! Damn, that actually really upsets me.
Holyetheline's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/02/2009 14:11
Holyetheline
Your theory behind Twilight made perfect sense! haha
Shin Oni's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/02/2009 16:37
Shin Oni
I came for the banner. I stay cause we make hot 3rd strike sex.
AgentMOO's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/02/2009 18:13
AgentMOO
Wait, Reaprar is gone too? I thought that bro slowed his troll
007's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/02/2009 19:39
007
Reaprar is gone? I don't really think he deserved to be banned... but OK.
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