Comment with Facebook

Comment with Dtoid

Comment with Facebook

Comment with Dtoid

games anime | toys
This is a Destructoid readers's blog. For staff blogs click here. Confused? read this Create you own Dtoid blog, it's free! | Returning members: Login now

[ Riser Glen's blog ]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHRISTIAN BALE!
Riser Glen \| 6:58 AM on 01.30.2008	40 comments

34 years ago this day, a man was born. A man who would change the lives of millions. A man who would redefine the way we look at movies. That man's name is Christian Bale.

Born of a virgin in a manger outside of Bethlehem, Wales; Christian Bale grew up watching movies on a daily basis. Disgusted by what he saw, he decided to become an actor so that he may make a difference. After getting the blessing of his earth-father Alan Thicke, he moved to Hollywood with one goal: To change it.

To this day, he continues to be the greatest actor in the history of the universe.

FACT: Christian Bale played every member of the Klump family in The Nutty Professor. Also, he refused to wear makeup.

FACT: The Sun revolves around Christian Bale.

FACT: Contrary to popular belief, Bale was the first person to play a perfect game of Pac-Man.

FACT: Bale confirmed for Brawl.

FACT: Bale was rated "OT-XVII" by the Church of Scientology before they kicked him out after learning he killed all of L. Ron Hubbard's past lives. Why did he join Scientology? For the lulz, of course.

Is this post awesome? Vote it up!

Click connect and comment instantly!

New? SIGN UP - it takes 5 seconds

37 comments | showing # 1 to 37

atheistium says:
(# 0) on 01/30/2008 07:22

i worry about you, riser :s

Macca says:
(# 1) on 01/30/2008 07:22

God has a birthday?

Excremento says:
(# 2) on 01/30/2008 07:23

OMG I LOLed at the scientology reference and that the sun revolves around him. All praise be to our lord and saviour CHRISTian Bale.

Excremento says:
(# 3) on 01/30/2008 07:26

@Macca

Of course it does! Lord Xenu is millions if not billions of years old!

Justice says:
(# 4) on 01/30/2008 07:39

Riser what happened to you!
You used to be cool!

Now everything's coming up riser!

Snaileb says:
(# 5) on 01/30/2008 07:40

All hail Bale!!

The man deserves it! He's a king amongst men! The duke of silver screens! The prince of awesome!

Phist says:
(# 6) on 01/30/2008 07:43

Lauren, there's nothing wrong with having non-gay love for Bale. Riser, you do good yobs.

Kryptinite says:
(# 7) on 01/30/2008 07:46

LOL...wow. So...man crush? It's cool, I have a man crush on J. Deep.

bhive01 says:
(# 8) on 01/30/2008 07:48

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BALE!!!!

!Christian Bale++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Clockwork says:
(# 9) on 01/30/2008 07:50

FACT: Christian Bale played every member of the Klump family in The Nutty Professor. Also, he refused to wear makeup.

HAHAHAHAHA!

MaxVest says:
(# 10) on 01/30/2008 07:51

10,000,000

pierrerodriguez says:
(# 11) on 01/30/2008 08:06

riser, you truly are the king of kings.

Demios says:
(# 12) on 01/30/2008 08:11

Hail to the Bale.

Wherever he may roam may he be greeted with only the finest ales and offered the most beautiful hand-maidens.

HAIL!

Brandon Undead says:
(# 13) on 01/30/2008 08:18

Wait, is Alan Thicke really his earth father.

I MUST RESEARCH!

Gameboi says:
(# 14) on 01/30/2008 08:18

All hail Halle Berry! Whoops... I meant Christian Bale ;-)

BluDesign says:
(# 15) on 01/30/2008 08:20

I planted a tree in his honor today.

Riser Glen says:
(# 16) on 01/30/2008 08:23

@dvddesign

itemforty says:
(# 17) on 01/30/2008 08:25

Huh, Holy Days always sneak up on me. I need to check the mail for Bale's list of things he wants this year. I hate sending him his presents late!

Professor Pew says:
(# 18) on 01/30/2008 08:32

Happy Baleday! Bale > Heath Ledger, if only because Bale is still alive.

Why so serious?

BigPopaGamer says:
(# 19) on 01/30/2008 08:37

Man, I totally forgot about this day. I need to remember to put it in my calendar. Hope he'll forgive me for being late with his presents.

Hey item, what are you getting him? Don't want to send him the same thing.

itemforty says:
(# 20) on 01/30/2008 08:46

He asked me for $7000 in iTunes gift cards again.

Demios says:
(# 21) on 01/30/2008 08:58

I think the offering of the first-born child in every family is a present worthy of Overlord Bale.

BigPopaGamer says:
(# 22) on 01/30/2008 09:05

Damn that guy, he always breaks my bank this time of year. Guess I'll have to go hire some hookers for him to bang and kill again. It's starting to get awkward when I keep having to ask CronosBlade for women and they don't come back.

itemforty says:
(# 23) on 01/30/2008 09:12

Can't you just say they got deported?

BigPopaGamer says:
(# 24) on 01/30/2008 09:18

Yeah, I've tried that one and it worked the first time. But 30+ women in 3 years is kinda hard to explain.

itemforty says:
(# 25) on 01/30/2008 09:22

Too bad Bale doesn't like Cubans: no one cares where those bodies end up.

Darkknight37 says:
(# 26) on 01/30/2008 09:24

Christian Bale convinced Hugh Jackman to go solo from the Xmen movies during the filming of 'The Prestige'.

Fact: Christian Bale thought hard enough and duplicated himself for the double role he played.

Side Fact: Christian Bale was the inspiration for Cloverfield.

Demios says:
(# 27) on 01/30/2008 09:36

Fact: In true Bale fashion (i.e. never doing the obvious) he once punched a wall through a man.

Necros says:
(# 28) on 01/30/2008 09:47

For thine is the kingdom and the power and the glory, now and forever, amen.

Ascythopicism says:
(# 29) on 01/30/2008 10:25

I fully support stripping the Bill Brasky meme from Chuck Norris and giving it to Christian Bale (who deserves it).

Norris is a crazy-religious asshole who thinks that it is in fact Jesus who has another fist under his beard (and thus doesn't get the joke). Whereas Bale cuts off his secret twin's index finger just for a magic act, tries to feed kittens to ATMs, sees ghostly apparitions of Steve Zahn after escaping from a POW camp in South-East Asia, and lays the smack-down on Liam Neeson despite the fact Neeson's 9 feet tall, and has a cock the size of Bale's fore-arm.

Bale / Gravel '08!

king3vbo says:
(# 30) on 01/30/2008 10:40

My parents dont understand my obsession with Christian Bale; they think I need to see a shrink

HIS WILL BE DONE

itemforty says:
(# 31) on 01/30/2008 10:49

Fact: Christian Bale hunted down and killed every single Nigerian Spammer.

Coonskin05 says:
(# 32) on 01/30/2008 11:43

"Bale, I recognize that I have not lived my life for You up until now. I have been living for myself and that is wrong. I need You in my life; I want You in my life. I acknowledge the completed work of Christian Bale in giving His life for me on the cross at Calvary, and I long to receive the forgiveness you have made freely available to me through this sacrifice. Come into my life now, Bale. Take up residence in my heart and be my king, my Lord, and my Savior. From this day forward, I will no longer be controlled by sin, or the desire to please myself, but I will follow You all the days of my life. Those days are in Your hands. I ask this in Bale's precious and holy name. Amen."

kawitchate says:
(# 33) on 01/30/2008 15:25

Fact: Christian Bale exudes the 1.21 gigawatt's of power necessary to power the flux capacitor. The irony is he doesn't need to time travel since he exists in all times at the same time.

Sharpless says:
(# 34) on 01/30/2008 20:04

FACT: Christian Bale was the original Cloverfield monster. Test audiences' heads imploded under the strain of the amazingness, so Abrams changed it to some CGI shit.

liqideos says:
(# 35) on 01/30/2008 20:35

We should pitch in for an erotic cake.

Samit Sarkar says:
(# 36) on 01/30/2008 20:55

ALL GLORY TO THE MACHINIST/BATMAN/AMERICAN PSYCHO!

Click connect and comment instantly!

get involved

register or login
post a blog
post a forum
enter a contest
contribute a news tip
suggest a feature
be a guest editor

support

new member's guide
login assistance
tech support
report abuse
email our editors
read our dev blog
nuclear crisis?

keep in touch

RSS feed
Twitter
Facebook
Myspace
Flickr
Game nights
Meetup+play online

seriously

about Destructoid
advertising
terms of use
privacy policy
jobs at MM
buy our crap

our network

Tomopop
Japanator
Despingation?

Destructoid is an independently-run publication forged by our love of video games and the gaming community's need of accountable enthusiast press
living the dream since March 16, 2006

New? SIGN UP - it takes 5 seconds

Comments policy

Destructoid is an open discussion community. You don't need to "audition" to post a comment - just speak your mind. We respect differing opinions on the site, so have at it. Be smart, funny, insightful, clueless, or cute -- but back it up with substance. Keep your cool, keep it fun. We only ask that you act respectfully and above all: don't be a troll and ruin it for everyone else. Don't bring down gamers or we'll, you know, gently shoot you in the face and stuff you into a flaming mailbox. Each comment is your opportuntity to make this community awesomer. Is that even a word?

Avoiding the banhammer only requires common sense: spamming, trolling, racism, NSFW stuff, and other forms of sucking will not be tolerated. If anyone is griefing please report abuse. Be good. Don't suck!