In a post last week, I issued a daunting challenge to all PC owners. Specifically users of Internet (Or [insert poorly thought out insult here]). I merely proclaimed that I am the greatest iSketch player in this here parts of Destructoid. This new post is not meant to be a retraction, if that's what you're expecting, I wouldn't hold your breath. This is merely to remind all you PC owners who don't own a Mac and are not lucky enough to be playing Jeopardy! Deluxe (I just happened to pick mine up and just Alex Trebek alone is glorious!), that tonight you can try to take out your frustration on this here Apple enthusiast, me, in iSketch.
Mind you this is no easy task but you do have two things in your favor:
1. I have contracted a venereal disease. A bad one actually that has rendered me even more awkward than usual.
2. I broke my headset giving myself fellatio. Hence my epic shit-talking arsenal will not be in use to anger and distract from your game. Trust me, this right here is a blessing in disguise, as I sound like Dora the Explorer. Swiper no swiping.
This will be your future. Crying like a bitch, when I'm done with you.
But please don't think those things will cripple my game as I intend to bring it and crush all who oppose me. My shit-talking I will post in a future blog for all to read and ridicule the losing players, as I will be laughing at the lack of skillz (with a "z") I'm quite sure I'll come across if any PC players show up. Before you crybabies start telling me:
"Oh, but Riser, it's hard to draw with a mouse WHAT'S HAPPENING?!" excuse, all I have to say is I manage quite well. Perhaps it is not the mouse that is garbage but your artistic ability (OH DANG I FUCKING WENT THERE DUDE DID YOU READ THAT SHIT?!).
Any brave or stupid challengers who wish to wipe the smug grin off my face can do so @ 8PM ESTizzle. 3 ROUND MATCHES FO SHO. For about an hour or two should suffice. Should I see that there will be a need for an additional host I believe White Power Bill has volunteered for duty as one.
This is your opportunity to kick my ass gentlemen. To shut this "labeled" Apple Fanboy up once and for all. Are you man enough to? Because I'm man enough to. Seriously. I'm not compensating for anything.
Interested parties leave your information. I will throughout the day send GTalk messages containing images of my lower region. As well as free lessons on how to wash your eyes out later in the evening.
...with a goofy photoshop and Christian Bale. Predictable, ain't I?
Destructoid is open for everyone, but at the same time, it's feels like a privilege just to be here. I love this site. I love love love love love love this site. I love the way it makes me laugh, I love the way it keeps me informed, I love its community and I love the way it tucks me into bed at night.
I love it here (as previously mentioned).
I came here in early summer, 2007 (I think...I can barely tell time let alone read calenders) and instantly fell in love. Everyone here is amazing. I could go on and on about your awesome posts and your unbelievably great senses of humor. Before I found DToid and its great community, I had no plans to become part of an online community and never would have expected to become friends with anyone on the internets. And yet here I am, blabbering on like an idiot. I seriously hate getting all sappy, as I am usually a very guarded person, but everything I'm saying is true. What have you done to me, DToid?!
That said, I plan on sticking around like an unwanted house quest. So get out the extra blankets and clean the bathroom, because I'm here to stay, baby!
Your favorite Power Ranger - Riser Glen
P.S.: If you are in California and come into contact with Charlie, can you give him a punch for me? Just say "This is from Glen" and give him a good ol' energy drainer on his right shoulder. He'll know what it means.
I've never played Guitar Hero, but I've always been interested in it. After watching this video, I feel like I could play DragonForce all day long and could at least beat it in 3 days. This man is a true Guitar Hero and I will spend the rest of my life trying to be him.
I salute you, Guitar Hero. I salute you, your gorgeous hair and your curiously strong middle finger.
Come on run away
You don't have to stay
You're running out of time
But you're doing fine
So stay on track
And don't look back
Just feel the haste
Come on now race!!
Everybody Super Sonic Racing
Gotta keep your feet right on the ground
When you're Super Sonic Racing
There's no time to look around
With just Super Sonic Racing
Running to the point of no return
Everybody Super Sonic Racing
Come on let the fire burn!