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About Me

.:!|[INTRODUCTION]|!:.

How's it hanging nerdlings, geekettes, /b/asement-dwellers, stoners, web monkeys, indie devs, lurkers, trolls & industry fat cats?~

In case you don't know a lick about me, I joined Destructoid quite a few sunsets ago in the early Spring of 2008, when someone from the Internet kindly informed me that Destructoid would "eat your unborn babies". Having an insatiable taste for mucus-covered, unborn babies, I knew what I had to do. Plus, people were like "WHAT THE @#$% YOU TALKING BOUT MAN?!1! WE GOT XBOX AND PLAYSTATION BITCH NIGGAH!!1!" Naturally, I was in. Since then I lurke your forums, read your c-blawgs, listen to your podcasts and lul silently. Also, cocks.

!|[SEX DRUGS & PIXELS]|!

I've a soft spot for random acts of kindness, drawing, writing, bellydancing, raving, opening up mosh-pits, and not getting high but staying high. Like most people, I have a wide range of interests. I adore anything from goofy people, offensive jokes, zombie flicks, stand-up comedians, and mind-altering experiences, to comic books, sexual positivity, philosophy, mysteries, and general bizarreness.



Also, I'm a die-hard gamer and I have an animated eagerness for spilling pixelated blood and a never-ending appetite for slaughtering moving polygons. I like to think of myself as a fairly laid-back broad. I was born with a sarcastic mindset, dark sense of humor, and an uttermost weakness for impassioned babble sessions about any video game (8-bit to 1080p) to date. I may be unorganized, immature, and irresponsible but I’m the funnest chick you’ll have the chance to get teamed up with on xbox live.



You might spot me at any ol’ keg party with my signature tangled hair, ripped Hello Kitty pajama pants, and a battle-worn shirt. The girl who's most likely flapping her tongue, detailing the last minute curb stomp in her freshest match, growling about big corporations and government conspiracies, exploring the concept of eccentric theories or geeking out about some other irrelevant crap. The girl who strives to learn something new every day and genuinely enjoys turning strangers into friends.

That pathetic excuse for the girl next door, is me. If I’m not your cup of tea, you can not imagine the immensity of the fuck I do not give.

Bullets, babes & bombs,
RiotMonster.com
SexDrugsPixels.com
Playfire.com/RiotMonster
Raptr.com/SexDrugsPixels


Last bit!~
Honestly, if you ever happen to have a hankering to just chill, blast some good jams & relish in lighthearted, videogame-related, blood-spraying with me... Hit me up. Shoot me a message if you want to talk about anything at all really, I'm a bit of an open book and not a bad listener, if I do say so myself. And hey~ If you let me, I’ll cheerfully put a couple of spiffy dreadlocks in your hair.

!|[CONSOLE LOVE AFFAIR]|!

Atari 2600
NES
Super NES
Nintendo 64
Nintendo GameCube
Nintendo DS Lite [Own]
Nintendo DSi
Nintendo Wii
Game Boy Original
Game Boy Color
Game Boy Advance SP
Sony PS2 Slim
Sony PSP
Sony PS3 [Own]
Sega Genesis
Sega Saturn
Sega Dreamcast
Xbox
Xbox 360 Elite
Xbox 360 Arcade
Xbox 360 Slim [Own]

!|[FAVE GAME GENRES]|!

Action Role-playing
ACTION ADVENTURE
Arcade
Dance
Fighting
First-person Shooter
PLATFORMER
Puzzle
Rhythm
Strategy
Third-person Shooter

!|[GENERALLY I ENJOY]|!

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Partying

Beer Pong

My Halo Days

Destructoids' Resident Bad Asses

Destructoids's Comic Artist Mikey, because of my severe addiction to the Dtoid forums, he made me an Easter Egg once. :)

MOMerator Zodiac Eclipse, because she owns SO HARD for this. (Bongette or Bob-ong)

Phallus Knife Fight drew this and it's fuckin EXCELLENT.

Epic-bearded Samurai Y0j1mb0 made me this because we're going to get hammered one of these days.

Gamer Profile

3DS friend code:
Steam:
Battle:
PSN: TheKushKitten
Mii:
Gamertag: The Kush Kitten

Following (32)

Ye olde review of Castle Crashers RiotMonster | 1:18 PM on 03.07.2009 6 comments

Hey, remember that awesome Xbox Live Arcade game that was released a long time ago that everyone fawned over, babbled about and played together? That one game that was the Arcade's best-selling title of 2008? Remember it? Yes, Castle Crashers. That's the one. Well, I have finally got my grubby, monster claws on it. I'm thoroughly disappointed in myself that I have not played this game any sooner. I suppose, sometimes I just try to fight having video games rape my wallet and make me their bitch. This game would totally have been worth grabbing my ankles over. Trust me, I'm kicking my own ass over not playing it earlier. Thanks to Dennya, the Xbox.com Games Editor, I now own this magical and hilarious arcade game. First off, let's talk about the amazing visuals. Scrolling through the 2D world of these fearless, castle-crashing knights is like battling inside of a real cartoon. It's got outstanding artwork and the graphics flow so nicely. From the cute, little, animal orbs you rescue to the fierce-looking (and still cute) bad guys you defeat, the art is something to marvel at in Castle Crashers. Dan Paladin really did amazing job designing the vivid characters and the bright visuals of the environments. Another thing I noticed is that I really enjoy the mix of whimsical and epic music in this game. The sound effects are great as well. Lol, what a noob, he can't hold his liquor... Side-scrolling, beat-em-up games will always have a special place in my heart because they have always been so much fun. Throwing that into a bowl with RPG elements and easy controls is what makes this game absolutely addicting. The gameplay is far from repetitive because the more you crash, the faster you will level up and learn new combos to defeat even more types of enemies. Leveling up not only unlocks new combos, but will allow you attribute points to improve strength, magic, defense, and agility. Did I mention this game has some dark humor and plenty of surprises? It's absolutely bizarre. Randomly, you'll see a bunch of pooping animals, eat sandwiches that act like Steroids and battle a gigantic, swimming cat that's actually sort of frightening. Just when you think the game is getting somewhat repetitive, something odd and unexpected happens that enraptures you all over again. Also, I fail so hard at the All You Can Quaff mini game. Sweaty aching thumbs and supreme anger is all I am left with when I lose to the computers. My hands rarely fail me like that but when it's a game where you have to jam the button so ungodly fast, I usually end up biting the dust. (This is the reason I hate Canary Mary in Banjo-Tooie, HATE HER!!) All You Can Quaff is a fun idea and I can see it getting really competitive but it's not my cup of ale because I hate to lose. If you can work your fingers at the speed of light (call me!! ;D lol) I'd recommend it. Merlins beard!! What in the flying fuck is that?! I know this was a late review of a highly-regarded game that everyone has already jabbered about, but I just had to get my two cents out there to the few people who have not shelled out the MS points for this game. Next time you're thinking about grabbing some McDonalds on the way home, don't do it!! Save that cash and download Castle Crashers. It's one of the best Xbox 360 games out right now. I have yet to raid castles and chop off heads on Xbox Live with three other friends but I so badly want to. Anyone want to play? You've got to let me kiss the Princesses though. =]