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About Me


.:!|[INTRODUCTION]|!:.

How's it hanging nerdlings, geekettes, /b/asement-dwellers, stoners, web monkeys, indie devs, lurkers, trolls & industry fat cats?~

In case you don't know a lick about me, I joined Destructoid quite a few sunsets ago in the early Spring of 2008, when someone from the Internet kindly informed me that Destructoid would "eat your unborn babies". Having an insatiable taste for mucus-covered, unborn babies, I knew what I had to do. Plus, people were like "WHAT THE @#$% YOU TALKING BOUT MAN?!1! WE GOT XBOX AND PLAYSTATION BITCH NIGGAH!!1!" Naturally, I was in. Since then I lurke your forums, read your c-blawgs, listen to your podcasts and lul silently. Also, cocks.

!|[SEX DRUGS & PIXELS]|!

I've a soft spot for random acts of kindness, drawing, writing, bellydancing, raving, opening up mosh-pits, and not getting high but staying high. Like most people, I have a wide range of interests. I adore anything from goofy people, offensive jokes, zombie flicks, stand-up comedians, and mind-altering experiences, to comic books, sexual positivity, philosophy, mysteries, and general bizarreness.



Also, I'm a die-hard gamer and I have an animated eagerness for spilling pixelated blood and a never-ending appetite for slaughtering moving polygons. I like to think of myself as a fairly laid-back broad. I was born with a sarcastic mindset, dark sense of humor, and an uttermost weakness for impassioned babble sessions about any video game (8-bit to 1080p) to date. I may be unorganized, immature, and irresponsible but I’m the funnest chick you’ll have the chance to get teamed up with on xbox live.



You might spot me at any ol’ keg party with my signature tangled hair, ripped Hello Kitty pajama pants, and a battle-worn shirt. The girl who's most likely flapping her tongue, detailing the last minute curb stomp in her freshest match, growling about big corporations and government conspiracies, exploring the concept of eccentric theories or geeking out about some other irrelevant crap. The girl who strives to learn something new every day and genuinely enjoys turning strangers into friends.

That pathetic excuse for the girl next door, is me. If I’m not your cup of tea, you can not imagine the immensity of the fuck I do not give.

Bullets, babes & bombs,
RiotMonster.com
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Playfire.com/RiotMonster
Raptr.com/SexDrugsPixels


Last bit!~
Honestly, if you ever happen to have a hankering to just chill, blast some good jams & relish in lighthearted, videogame-related, blood-spraying with me... Hit me up. Shoot me a message if you want to talk about anything at all really, I'm a bit of an open book and not a bad listener, if I do say so myself. And hey~ If you let me, I’ll cheerfully put a couple of spiffy dreadlocks in your hair.

!|[CONSOLE LOVE AFFAIR]|!

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!|[FAVE GAME GENRES]|!

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!|[GENERALLY I ENJOY]|!

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Phallus Knife Fight drew this and it's fuckin EXCELLENT.

Epic-bearded Samurai Y0j1mb0 made me this because we're going to get hammered one of these days.


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RiotMonster's E3 Predictions: Nintendo Edition
RiotMonster | 6:50 PM on 05.26.2009 19 comments




So, the Electronic Entertainment Expo is coming up in just a couple of days and I've decided it's high time to write about what I'm hoping and expecting at this year's E3. Since I was born in Texas instead of California and I'm not cultivating money trees in my backyard, I won't be able to attend this year's expo but that's not stopping my intense excitement. Sure, I'll miss the Video Games Live groundbreaking performance with it's synchronized video, lighting, special effects, crowd interactivity... Not to mention the booth babes, costume contests, surprise guests, game demos, prizes and more... But, I get to live the typical gamer's dream of lurking various video game news websites all day. Yippee.

The E3 Expo is the world's premiere trade show for computer and video games and related products, so of course, every one is expecting epic new game details, new peripherals and information on the newest gaming technologies. This article is just going to focus on Nintendo's showcase.

I'm not going to say that they will release information about a new Mario or Zelda game. We've had three Zelda games within four years so give them a freakin' break. Also, a new Mario game is a given. It might not be a Mario solo adventure but I'm sure there's other sports that the Mushroom Kingdom characters have not played yet. This franchise milking has gone too far but it's making bank, so expect something.

Also, I doubt there will be a new StarFox game since Dylan Cuthbert plainly said he does not want to make another one in the next ten years, if even. If someone else decides to do it, I can't find myself being too excited. It makes sense for them to do that, utilizing Motion Plus for high levels of accuracy while flying around and blasting ships, but what do I know?

More DSi-to-Wii Interaction:
In the past Nintendo have shown us some pretty neat transfer packs. I'm sure most of you remember when you could transfer information from the Game Boy to the N64 specifically for Pokemon. We all know the Wii has Wifi capability, as does the DSi. We can already download sample games from the Wii and people can download sample games or play wirelessly with the DSi.

They have been working with us, Pokemon-wise, as you can transfer your Pokemon: Diamond & Pearl Pokemon to the Nintendo Wii game, Pokemon: Battle Revolution. I think we can all agree that this potential is relatively underused. I'm predicting that the guys at Nintendo has realized this already and are going to think of some pretty interesting ways for the DSi and Wii to work together.

Announce new Kid Icarus, finally:
You can clearly see his amazing move set in Super Smash Bros. Brawl, it's a crime for Pit not to star in his own game. Also, I'm sure this new Nintendo Wii game will be just as hard as his original game on NES.

They will announce an Earthworm Jim remake:
Nintendo will realize the many gems they had on their systems back in the day and will want to remake some of them. Shiny Entertainment, er.. I guess, Double Helix Games will want to remake the classic title and put it on the Nintendo Wii.

Just like with the God of War 3 section in my Sony Predictions, I feel like I don't really have to explain why this would be so awesome. Earthworm Jim is still one of the funnest games I've ever played. Bring our beloved earthworm into this generation!!

They will announce a Clay Fighter remake:
Nintendo did release this and Earthworm Jim on the Virtual Console, but that's only to remind us how fun these gems were back in the day. They want to keep these characters fresh in our minds when they announce the remake of these titles. Clay Fighter had so many memorable characters and such a fun game play formula, that Nintendo realized casual and hardcore gamers could both enjoy this. I can't wait to see Bad Mr. Frosty, Blue Suede Goo, Bonker and Ickybod Clay again.

They will announce a Body Harvest remake:
Nintendo will get into contact with Rockstar North (or whoever) because they realized how successful alien-shooting adventure games are. They thought about how it would definitely pull back the hardcore crowd that was lost in last year's E3... Plus, the main protagonist kind of looks like Samus Aran. People will eat that stuff up.

Announce Pikmin 3:
It was hinted at during E3 2008. Also, around the time of the release of the first Pikmin game, it was hinted at that Pikmin might be a trilogy. And as previously covered by Destructoid, EDGE magazine had a full page ad with grass covering it all. On the bottom of the page it says next month with the next EDGE issue number on it and finally it has a purple blob in the top right corner that looks like a Pikmin. The signs are all there yet we have nothing else to go by. Pikmin 3 being officially announced is almost a given, but will they announce it at this year's E3?

Announce Metroid Dread:
Metroid Dread was first announced in the June 2005 issue of Game Informer. Supposedly, the game was a 2D side-scroller being developed for the Nintendo DS, with its plot following the events of Metroid Fusion. Sounds too good to be true, eh? Well in the release of Metroid Prime 3: Corruption, many gamers noticed a message in Metroid Prime 3: Corruption using Samus Aran's Scan Visor on a terminal in the Metroid Processing facility.

The message states, "Experiment status report update: Metroid project 'Dread' is nearing the final stages of completion." It was once rumored by some that this was an implication that a "Metroid Dread" game was nearing completion, but on September 6, 2007, Nintendo denied the existence of Metroid Dread and said "Nintendo is not making the 2D Metroid at this point in time." though this does not rule out another 3D game, or "2.5D." Sad thing is that the Metroid Dread reference was removed in the Japanese version of Metroid Prime 3: Corruption, sometime in 2008. Nintendo, quit pulling at my heart strings.

Announce the project that Masahiro Sakurai is working on:
Sakurai has already stated that he is NOT working on a new Kirby game. I have faith in him that whatever he dreams up is going to be amazing. I really don't have much to say on this since I'm totally left in the dark on what he could be developing. I'm just crossing my fingers for a platformer.

They will still be excited about Wii Sports Resort and other casual games:
I won't be surprised if they announced another game like Wii Even More Fit, or something just as ridiculous. I'm sure they are planning something like Gardening Mama... er... wait nevermind.

Details for Sadness:
Sadness is an upcoming video game for the Nintendo Wii by Polish video game developer Nibris. According to the guy who is running Nibris, Piotr Orłowski, "The scenario will have associations with narcolepsy, nyctophobia and paranoid schizophrenia. The scenario will surprise you." It's a game set before WWI in the early 1900s, and presented entirely in black-and-white. I've been anticipating this game since the Nintendo Wii was launched. I've always seen it as my little gem since it never did gain much popularity.

Well, I'm tired of waiting. In early July 2008, Nibris relaunched their website, confirming that Sadness is still in development with a projected release date of Autumn 2009. In early 2008, Nibris promised on their website that they would be present at the 2008 Game Developer's Conference. They did not appear, however, and have not updated their website since. What the hell Nibris. For all of these years, I've been looking at concept art, waiting for more information. I'm expecting a new trailer.

Details for obvious games that everyone is already excited for:
They are most likely going to cover No More Heroes: Desperate Struggle, Dead Space: Extraction, The Conduit, Red Steel 2, Muramasa: Demon Blade, Guitar Hero 5, DJ Hero, the new Silent Hill game. I absolutely can not wait to hear more about these titles so I really hope they go into depth about them. Release more trailers, talk about the controls, game play, ANYTHING!! The low sales of the more hardcore games have probably convinced Nintendo to play it safe, even though the best possible thing for us would be a completely new "core" game. Hopefully, Nintendo will remember us Pea Brains.

Well, ladies and gentlemen, there you have it. My predictions for Nintendo at this year's E3. I hope I'm not disappointed. Only a couple of more days until News sites will be swarming with new information on this year's Expo. Spirits are high with anticipation. I can't wait.

Read my E3 Predictions: Microsoft Edition: Here
Read my E3 Predictions: Sony Edition: Here



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19 comments | showing # 1 to 19
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hpv's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/26/2009 19:07
hpv
Sadness doesn't exist. You do realize that, right?

These predictions: 3/11
flabzilla's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/26/2009 19:14
flabzilla
I think you should be expect a big bag of dissapointment
SilverDragon1979's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/26/2009 19:15
SilverDragon1979
Now THIS is what I'm talking about. There were a lot more original ideas in this post. Riot, you kick ass!
SilverDragon1979's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/26/2009 19:16
SilverDragon1979
Now THIS is what I'm talking about. There were a lot more original ideas in this post. Riot, you kick ass!
Analoge's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/26/2009 19:19
Analoge
Your high expectations for a new Kid Icarus (assuming they ever make one) are ill-founded.

Your hopes for a new Earthworm Jim are just plain silly.

@hpv Is sadness really a lie? I want it...
RiotMonster's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/26/2009 19:19
RiotMonster
@HPV, until they officially announce that it was all a crock of shit, I'm still going to be looking forward to this game.

@Flabzilla, Ever since last E3, I tell myself that I've learned that I should not expect much, but here's top having hope.

@SilverDragon, thanks.. =]
Celdurant's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/26/2009 19:21
Celdurant
Two things: "Just like with the God of War 3 section in my Microsoft Predictions"

Just pointing that out for ya

Second thing: Body Harvest scared the shit out of me when i was like 8 for some reason, something about entering those dark houses and the music I think. However, I would definitely enjoy running over giant alien bugs with a firetruck again.
Chris Carter's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/26/2009 19:23
Chris Carter
It's really, really sad that all the Sony and MS predictions are "they will release a new awesome IP", and all the Nintendo ones are

New Mario Game!
New Zelda Game!
New Starfox Game!
New Smash Brothers!
Remake of old SNES/NES/64 game!

Nice blog! I'm with HPV though, prepare to be disappointed :-(
garison's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/26/2009 19:28
garison
I hope this stuff happens.
RiotMonster's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/26/2009 19:34
RiotMonster
...Crap.
*edits*
Thanks Celdurant... ^_^;
Celdurant's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/26/2009 19:56
Celdurant
No problem, shitstorm avoided =p

I'd expect to be disappointed, but I haven't really had expectations from Nintendo in a while.
ArcticFox's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/26/2009 20:30
ArcticFox
Good to see someone is optomistic about the big N! Great predictions, I hope most come true, and dont suck.

Personally I am really hoping to see more of No More Heroes 2 and Dead Space Extraction.
Chris Carter's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/26/2009 20:40
Chris Carter
@Arctic
I hate to sound like a dick, but this is what I'm talking about. Being excited for a sequel, and another on-rails shooter based off a PS3/360 game?

There's gotta be more to life on the Wii!
CelicaCrazed's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/26/2009 21:19
CelicaCrazed
I'm with you on the need for more and better DS-to-Wii connectivity!!! And what better title to pull it off than with....*drum roll*....LoZ Four Swords Adventure Wii!! That's my prediction at least.
DF's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/26/2009 22:35
DF
I'm with CelicaCrazed on connectivity (I've said my part on that elsewhere before) and how they're not doing enough with it.

But man, Metroid Dread would be fucking amazing. I mean, what year did Fusion come out? A continuation of the Metroid saga outside of Prime is what I want.

Come on Nintendo, we know you can do it!!
garison's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/26/2009 23:41
garison
I would die for a new Zelda Four Swords game for the Wii with DS connectivity. That would be so fucking badass. Also, I'm really looking forward to Pikmin 3, how much more days till E3 again?
Char Aznable's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/27/2009 09:48
Char Aznable
EARTHWORM JIM
Y0j1mb0's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/27/2009 10:21
Y0j1mb0
Your series inspired me to create my own Riot...lol.
Darren Nakamura's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/27/2009 16:17
Darren Nakamura
I would flip out over a Metroid Dread announcement. Just imagining a 2D Metroid game using the DS capabilities gets me all wet down there.
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