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About Me


.:!|[INTRODUCTION]|!:.

How's it hanging nerdlings, geekettes, /b/asement-dwellers, stoners, web monkeys, indie devs, lurkers, trolls & industry fat cats?~

In case you don't know a lick about me, I joined Destructoid quite a few sunsets ago in the early Spring of 2008, when someone from the Internet kindly informed me that Destructoid would "eat your unborn babies". Having an insatiable taste for mucus-covered, unborn babies, I knew what I had to do. Plus, people were like "WHAT THE @#$% YOU TALKING BOUT MAN?!1! WE GOT XBOX AND PLAYSTATION BITCH NIGGAH!!1!" Naturally, I was in. Since then I lurke your forums, read your c-blawgs, listen to your podcasts and lul silently. Also, cocks.

!|[SEX DRUGS & PIXELS]|!

I've a soft spot for random acts of kindness, drawing, writing, bellydancing, raving, opening up mosh-pits, and not getting high but staying high. Like most people, I have a wide range of interests. I adore anything from goofy people, offensive jokes, zombie flicks, stand-up comedians, and mind-altering experiences, to comic books, sexual positivity, philosophy, mysteries, and general bizarreness.



Also, I'm a die-hard gamer and I have an animated eagerness for spilling pixelated blood and a never-ending appetite for slaughtering moving polygons. I like to think of myself as a fairly laid-back broad. I was born with a sarcastic mindset, dark sense of humor, and an uttermost weakness for impassioned babble sessions about any video game (8-bit to 1080p) to date. I may be unorganized, immature, and irresponsible but I’m the funnest chick you’ll have the chance to get teamed up with on xbox live.



You might spot me at any ol’ keg party with my signature tangled hair, ripped Hello Kitty pajama pants, and a battle-worn shirt. The girl who's most likely flapping her tongue, detailing the last minute curb stomp in her freshest match, growling about big corporations and government conspiracies, exploring the concept of eccentric theories or geeking out about some other irrelevant crap. The girl who strives to learn something new every day and genuinely enjoys turning strangers into friends.

That pathetic excuse for the girl next door, is me. If I’m not your cup of tea, you can not imagine the immensity of the fuck I do not give.

Bullets, babes & bombs,
RiotMonster.com
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Playfire.com/RiotMonster
Raptr.com/SexDrugsPixels


Last bit!~
Honestly, if you ever happen to have a hankering to just chill, blast some good jams & relish in lighthearted, videogame-related, blood-spraying with me... Hit me up. Shoot me a message if you want to talk about anything at all really, I'm a bit of an open book and not a bad listener, if I do say so myself. And hey~ If you let me, I’ll cheerfully put a couple of spiffy dreadlocks in your hair.

!|[CONSOLE LOVE AFFAIR]|!

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!|[FAVE GAME GENRES]|!

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Phallus Knife Fight drew this and it's fuckin EXCELLENT.

Epic-bearded Samurai Y0j1mb0 made me this because we're going to get hammered one of these days.


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RiotMonster's E3 Predictions: Microsoft Edition
RiotMonster | 4:02 PM on 05.25.2009 17 comments




So, the Electronic Entertainment Expo is coming up in just a couple of days and I've decided it's high time to write about what I'm hoping and expecting at this year's E3. Since I was born in Texas instead of California and I'm not cultivating money trees in my backyard, I won't be able to attend this year's expo but that's not stopping my intense excitement. Sure, I'll miss the Video Games Live groundbreaking performance with it's synchronized video, lighting, special effects, crowd interactivity... Not to mention the booth babes, costume contests, surprise guests, game demos, prizes and more... But, I get to live the typical gamer's dream of lurking various video game news websites all day. Yippee.

The E3 Expo is the world's premiere trade show for computer and video games and related products, so of course, every one is expecting epic new game details, new peripherals and information on the newest gaming technologies. This article is just going to focus on Microsoft's showcase.

Full Body and Hand Gesture Controls:
One of the more interesting rumors I have been hearing about is that Microsoft is building a "sensor bar" of sorts, but instead of detecting the waggles of Wiimote-like controllers, it detects full body movement and sound, sans controllers. There are two sensors on the bar, along with a mic and a camera.

Apparently, this "sensor bar" will give you full body and hand gesture control of characters in your games. In fighting games you kick, punch, duck, dive, jump and so forth with your body. Anybody smell a lawsuit, yet? What surprised me is that it also picks up small hand gestures like pinching, grabbing and scrolling. There will also be video conferencing and games with video. You can also play trivia games over XBL with live webcam-esque images of each person playing. When a question pops up, they can clap to buzz in. You can "move objects on your screen" and the other party can see what you're doing in real time. The technology can do all of this yet detects only the person playing, not folks observing on the couch. I've got to get more word on this warlock.

Details about Bungie's Halo 3 ODST:
Even though over the years it has become the "cool thing" to say negative things about Halo's franchise lately, I know there are still a lot of Halo Heads out there that are stoked for this game. Halo 3 ODST is an expansion for Halo 3. In the game, you will take on the role of a UNSC Orbital Drop Shock Trooper (ODST) during the events leading up to Halo 3. Known for their courage, valor and, at times, insanity, ODSTs are among the fiercest UNSC soldiers, priding themselves on being the first unit deployed into hostile situations.

No, you will not play as Master Chief but I think it's going to be really awesome since it adds a needed challenge. You won't be a Spartan so that means no advanced armor, Spartan-like reflexes and strength, and you are more vulnerable to gunfire so you will be forced to act more cautiously. No more kamikaze spreeing through the levels.

This is pretty much all we know about the game when it was announced a couple of months ago and we're all itching for new information and possibly (fingers crossed) a release date.

Details about BioWare's Mass Effect 2:
Very little information has been released concerning the plot for Mass Effect 2. Although, people such as Greg Zeschuk (BioWare co-founder) and other various developers on the official Mass Effect message boards, have said that players should keep their Mass Effect save-files, because decisions made by the player in the first game will continue to have influences on their character in the sequel. Nice. Apparently, if you have not played the first Mass Effect, you will start a new character in Mass Effect 2, and will be brought up to speed on the story elements that have taken place thus far in the series.

A developer diary was released on May 15, 2009, that confirms the combat system has been upgraded, with everything from the feel of the combat and the AI being improved, including realistic damage modeling and downed enemies still continuing to crawl and fight. New to the series is a heavy weapons system, which sounds really exciting. Also, the tone of the game is similar to that of the Wild West, featuring warlords and crime gangs. I'm hoping for, at least, a new trailer or new game play details.

Details about Ubisoft's Splinter Cell Conviction:
Splinter Cell: Conviction was originally scheduled for release on November 16, 2007, but has since been the subject of several delays. Splinter Cell: Conviction was later confirmed that the game will be released by Christmas 2009. We have seriously been waiting for this game for so long yet we keep getting the run-around on it. We did get a new Teaser Trailer on May 20th but give us something new, something official.

A Fangirl's Mind going nuts (and bolts, har har) at what Rare could bring to the Expo:
A new Banjo-Kazooie game? I didn't get my fix when playing Banjo-Kazooie: Nuts and Bolts. I'd kill for an N64-esque, 3D, adventure game like the classic ones. Banjo and Kazooie are two lovable characters and their move sets have a lot of potential for a new HD experience.
How about a new Battletoads game? I'm a complete sucker for anthropomorphic video games, this is true, but I know that I can't be the only one who almost wets my pants at the thought of a new Battletoads game. Not only that, but man, we desperately need some more amphibians with superhuman strength.
Possibly, a new Killer Instinct game? The game borrows the attack set of Street Fighter and is also inspired by the finishing moves from Mortal Kombat... Throw that recipe into the next-gen era and you've got a success. Come on, Rare. Give me SOMETHING.

Well, ladies and gentlemen, there you have it. My predictions for Microsoft at this year's E3. I hope I'm not disappointed. Only a couple of more days until News sites will be swarming with new information on this year's Expo. Spirits are high with anticipation. I can't wait. Also, what are some things that you're anticipating to see at this year's E3?

Read my E3 Predictions: Sony Edition: Here
Read my E3 Predictions: Nintendo Edition: Here



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15 comments | showing # 1 to 15
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Puppy Licks's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/25/2009 18:36
Puppy Licks
I'm hoping for a new I.P., doubt I'll get it but one can hope.
ArrestedDeveloper's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/25/2009 18:56
ArrestedDeveloper
Things I'm hoping/guessing:

Alan Wake - I mean, they have too right?

Something crazy from Peter Molynuex - Peter will talk for awhile but only show concept art or a screenshot

Rare's next game - PD, KI, Kameo 2 (Battletoads would be cool)

Another Halo game - Peter Jackson or Frankie/Ryan Payton's

Every big multi-platform game - Modern Warfare 2 etc

Longshot: Half life 2: Episode 3, Portal 2

Super Longshot: Microsoft buys Sierra, Lucasarts and Doublefine and puts Monkey Island 5, Full Throttle 2, and Grim Fandango 2, Psychonauts 2, Kings Quest 9, Space Quest 8, Quest for Glory 6, Leisure Suit Larry 8, and Gabriel Knight 4 into production with Tim Schafer, Roberta Williams, Al Lowe, and Jane Jensen as project leads.
JLanphear's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/25/2009 19:30
JLanphear
ODST is pretty much a given, and Mass Effect 2 is already confirmed. I, for one, would LOVE a new Perfect Dark game. Hopefully one that was really in the vain of the N64, even an XBLA with online multiplayer would be INCREDIBLE.
RiotMonster's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/25/2009 19:47
RiotMonster
@ArrestedDeveloper: Portal 2? Why didn't I think of that... =P

@JLanphear: Yeah, I know Mass Effect 2 is confirmed, I just want MOAR DETAILS on it..

Either way, I'm stoked but trying not to buy too much into the E3 hype this year.. I've been burned in the past.. =/
Zombutler's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/25/2009 21:07
Zombutler
All I care about is Max Payne 3. All I need is some footage...
Sam Spectre's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/25/2009 21:56
Sam Spectre
Always Sunny in Philadelphia: THE GAME
Sam Spectre's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/25/2009 21:57
Sam Spectre
Also, Xbox Handheld.
Y0j1mb0's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/25/2009 22:03
Y0j1mb0
I just want Alan Wake!!

Good stuff Riot.
Gyrael's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/25/2009 22:33
Gyrael
You reminded me of Project Offset.

I want that shit. Now.
RiotMonster's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/26/2009 02:55
RiotMonster
Sam Spectre wings.. XD
RiotMonster's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/26/2009 05:05
RiotMonster
-G

Meant to say "Sam Spectre wins.." XD Haha.. Sorry, I'm high annnnd yesterday I had hot wings.. Bahaha.. Ok, commenting own blog ftl..
iGoops's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/26/2009 05:54
iGoops
Oooh, I have SO many predictions about what could go down at Microsoft's E3 conference. First of all, there has been some sort of rumor going around by a Metal Gear Solid exclusive game for the 360, which is going to be this years equivalent of Final Fantasy no longer being a Sony only thing. I think Sony will take a big hurtin' if that were to happen, but we'll see!

I've also heard a lot about Beyond Good & Evil 2 possibly stretching across all platforms, and I'm looking forward to hearing about that, whether it's at Microsoft or Sony's conference. You could get your serving of anthropomorphic animals + badass girl heroines at the same time! :P
FalconReaper's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/26/2009 06:18
FalconReaper
KI3! KI3! KI3! Doubt it'll happen, but a man can dream can't he?
Char Aznable's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/26/2009 10:23
Char Aznable
Don't mind me, I'm just here for the Charlie boxing gif.
lv99ron's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/26/2009 15:48
lv99ron
I'm pissed because I missed the registration deadline, so no dead Rising 2 for me.
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