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Destructoid - RiotMonster's Community Blog




About Me


.:!|[INTRODUCTION]|!:.

How's it hanging nerdlings, geekettes, /b/asement-dwellers, stoners, web monkeys, indie devs, lurkers, trolls & industry fat cats?~

In case you don't know a lick about me, I joined Destructoid quite a few sunsets ago in the early Spring of 2008, when someone from the Internet kindly informed me that Destructoid would "eat your unborn babies". Having an insatiable taste for mucus-covered, unborn babies, I knew what I had to do. Plus, people were like "WHAT THE @#$% YOU TALKING BOUT MAN?!1! WE GOT XBOX AND PLAYSTATION BITCH NIGGAH!!1!" Naturally, I was in. Since then I lurke your forums, read your c-blawgs, listen to your podcasts and lul silently. Also, cocks.

!|[SEX DRUGS & PIXELS]|!

I've a soft spot for random acts of kindness, drawing, writing, bellydancing, raving, opening up mosh-pits, and not getting high but staying high. Like most people, I have a wide range of interests. I adore anything from goofy people, offensive jokes, zombie flicks, stand-up comedians, and mind-altering experiences, to comic books, sexual positivity, philosophy, mysteries, and general bizarreness.



Also, I'm a die-hard gamer and I have an animated eagerness for spilling pixelated blood and a never-ending appetite for slaughtering moving polygons. I like to think of myself as a fairly laid-back broad. I was born with a sarcastic mindset, dark sense of humor, and an uttermost weakness for impassioned babble sessions about any video game (8-bit to 1080p) to date. I may be unorganized, immature, and irresponsible but I’m the funnest chick you’ll have the chance to get teamed up with on xbox live.



You might spot me at any ol’ keg party with my signature tangled hair, ripped Hello Kitty pajama pants, and a battle-worn shirt. The girl who's most likely flapping her tongue, detailing the last minute curb stomp in her freshest match, growling about big corporations and government conspiracies, exploring the concept of eccentric theories or geeking out about some other irrelevant crap. The girl who strives to learn something new every day and genuinely enjoys turning strangers into friends.

That pathetic excuse for the girl next door, is me. If I’m not your cup of tea, you can not imagine the immensity of the fuck I do not give.

Bullets, babes & bombs,
RiotMonster.com
SexDrugsPixels.com
Playfire.com/RiotMonster
Raptr.com/SexDrugsPixels


Last bit!~
Honestly, if you ever happen to have a hankering to just chill, blast some good jams & relish in lighthearted, videogame-related, blood-spraying with me... Hit me up. Shoot me a message if you want to talk about anything at all really, I'm a bit of an open book and not a bad listener, if I do say so myself. And hey~ If you let me, I’ll cheerfully put a couple of spiffy dreadlocks in your hair.

!|[CONSOLE LOVE AFFAIR]|!

Atari 2600
NES
Super NES
Nintendo 64
Nintendo GameCube
Nintendo DS Lite [Own]
Nintendo DSi
Nintendo Wii
Game Boy Original
Game Boy Color
Game Boy Advance SP
Sony PS2 Slim
Sony PSP
Sony PS3 [Own]
Sega Genesis
Sega Saturn
Sega Dreamcast
Xbox
Xbox 360 Elite
Xbox 360 Arcade
Xbox 360 Slim [Own]

!|[FAVE GAME GENRES]|!

Action Role-playing
ACTION ADVENTURE
Arcade
Dance
Fighting
First-person Shooter
PLATFORMER
Puzzle
Rhythm
Strategy
Third-person Shooter

!|[GENERALLY I ENJOY]|!

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Partying

Beer Pong

My Halo Days

Destructoids' Resident Bad Asses

Destructoids's Comic Artist Mikey, because of my severe addiction to the Dtoid forums, he made me an Easter Egg once. :)

MOMerator Zodiac Eclipse, because she owns SO HARD for this. (Bongette or Bob-ong)

Phallus Knife Fight drew this and it's fuckin EXCELLENT.

Epic-bearded Samurai Y0j1mb0 made me this because we're going to get hammered one of these days.


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Gamertag: The Kush Kitten
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My First Dtoid Post Ever is in 2009 = Fail
RiotMonster | 3:12 PM on 01.16.2009 21 comments


[IMG]http://i27.photobucket.com/albums/c159/CandyCoatedCunt/RiotMonster Pictures/Neon1-1.png[/IMG]

Hello Humanoids
Alright, so I'm a couple of years late but give me a break. This is my first post and I wanted to let you get to know me a bit. I go by the name of RiotMonster and I've been playing games since I figured out the Atari 2600. I honestly can't remember too much from those days. I CAN remember enjoying games like Asteroids, Centipede, Chopper Command, Frogger, Pac-Man, Parachute & of course, Space Invaders. My fondest memories of early video gaming were with the Sega Genesis, though. Yes, I was a Sega Fangirl. Owned & Loved the Sega Genesis, Saturn and Dreamcast. STILL DO AND WHAT?!

I am aware that posting here, I'm throwing myself into the shark tank of the Destructoid Army. I have been reading your articles and listening to the podcasts for a while now and I really do love how tight knit the community is here and finally want to join in, myself. I try not to be biased when it comes to video games and giving my opinions about different titles, genres and systems. I currently own the Atari 2600, NES, Super Nintendo, Nintendo GameCube, Nintendo 64, Nintendo Wii, Original Gameboy, Gameboy Color, Gameboy SP, Nintendo DS Lite, Sega Genesis, Sega Saturn, Sega Dreamcast, Sony Playstation, Sony Playstation 2, Sony PSP, Xbox, Xbox 360 Elite, & Xbox 360 Arcade. Pretty much all I am missing at the moment is a PS3. Now taking donations, btw. ;D

Since I was a tyke stumbling into the living room with my uneven pigtails, I have been addicted to video games. Raised in a world of food stamps and off-brand cereal, I learned to appreciate the finer things in life. I picked up that legendary controller with that glorious orange button, some of you might recognize as the Atari 2600 controller, and I was in love. Most little girls grew up making their Barbies fuck, I was learning the magical ways of the joystick. Years later, I spend the majority of my time, when not plopped in front of my TV with a controller in my hand, in video game forums or reading reviews on interesting, upcoming titles. I love games from hardcore, in-your-face, brutal, balls-to-the-wall, shooters like Gears of War to fun, carefree, colorful games like Super Paper Mario. I'm merely a Hardcore Gamer who owns a Nintendog. I see gaming as honestly my full-time job. I'm pretty sure I bleed pixels. Not to mention, I didn't skip school to go drink alcohol & have anal sex like the cool, POPULAR kids.. You'd find me in the arcade wasting my life savings (in quarters) on House of the Dead and Soul Calibur. To this day, I have no idea how I graduated when I was hardly ever in school.

OK U KNO ME NAO. GTFO!!

TL;DR Version



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18 comments | showing # 1 to 18
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pendelton21's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/16/2009 16:02
pendelton21
Best. gif. Ever.---------->

Welcome to Destructoid. I like you, but not in that way.
power-glove's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/16/2009 16:12
power-glove
You may want to be careful with that Sexing gif at the bottom I am not sure if it is kosher with the rules. Other than that welcome to the site.
Qraze's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/16/2009 16:22
Qraze
welcome and i love you, in that way.
Kryptinite's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/16/2009 16:22
Kryptinite
Oh shit...falcon punched!
Rifter01's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/16/2009 16:35
Rifter01
Wow.. My jaw is on the floor.

Welcome to Destructoid!

With that out of the way, I must say, craziest, quaziest, randomest, wildest, Friday-est, intro-post evah!

This will get several comments, btw.
RiotMonster's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/16/2009 16:39
RiotMonster
Thanks for the Welcomes!! It really means a lot that you guys are cool as hell haha..

If Capt Falcon is pushing the rules, I'll get rid of him lol.. Promise.
Teta's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/16/2009 16:44
Teta
By this: "Video Game Industry Analyst" you mean you work with focal groups, interviews and stuff like that?
BS3 Owner's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/16/2009 17:02
BS3 Owner
Welcome to DTOID!
(( Fellow Child of the Night... ))

BTW, Nice Intro Post is Niiice! :)
Char Aznable's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/16/2009 17:10
Char Aznable
You had me at "over 9,000 H-Jays later."

Welcome, and it's kind of odd being reminded that there are random people reading Dtoid without getting involved. Join up, unknown people who may or may not read this!

Yeah, the Falcon Punch thing might be pushing it.
SuperMonk4Ever's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/16/2009 17:17
SuperMonk4Ever
Hey, nice post and I am glad to see someone else loves the Darkness game. Yeah, the multiplayer sucked, but the single player ruled! Crossing my fingers for a sequel...
Atlas's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/16/2009 17:31
Atlas
I think we should turn this into a game. I say there will be exactly 44 total comments one hour after this comment.
Krow-Kupo's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/16/2009 17:48
Krow-Kupo
I love you for loving Banjo Tooie
Jesus H Christ's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/16/2009 17:57
Jesus H Christ
Welcome! You rule. I am totally jealous of your game room and all your retro stuff!
Tehmtnlion's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/16/2009 18:06
Tehmtnlion
DAS BOOT!

Welcome to our rape den.
RiotMonster's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/16/2009 21:03
RiotMonster
@Atlas Awww way to go on making me think I'd have a million comments by the end of the day!! XD

@Teta, 1) Nice bouncing fun sacks 2) No, a "video game industry analyst" is fancy talk for "I blog about vidya gaemz".

Thanks for everyone who welcomed me and what not!!
Mushman's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/16/2009 21:51
Mushman
I commend ou an an incedible intro blog, indeed this blog is full of awesomeness, THIS is how intro blogs should be done, even if I have not done mine yet!:D

I would post the usual stuff, but it seems that you already know the ropes. :)

HOWEVER, that will not, I repeat NOT, stop me from wishing you a nice day. :)



Also, you sidebar is fucking great. :O :D
Qraze's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/16/2009 22:49
Qraze
wow! best sidebar ever! today is great day for the cblogs
Atlas's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/16/2009 23:22
Atlas
@ Bo-omb Lady

That wasn't aiming to be a compliment sadly; stick around long enough on the CBlogs and you'll know what I mean. This blog wasn't a fail blog like most GAM3R CH1X out there so the comments were underwhelming. I should have taken that factor into my estimation of comments.
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