How's it hanging nerdlings, geekettes, /b/asement-dwellers, stoners, web monkeys, indie devs, lurkers, trolls & industry fat cats?~
In case you don't know a lick about me, I joined Destructoid quite a few sunsets ago in the early Spring of 2008, when someone from the Internet kindly informed me that Destructoid would "eat your unborn babies". Having an insatiable taste for mucus-covered, unborn babies, I knew what I had to do. Plus, people were like "WHAT THE @#$% YOU TALKING BOUT MAN?!1! WE GOT XBOX AND PLAYSTATION BITCH NIGGAH!!1!" Naturally, I was in. Since then I lurke your forums, read your c-blawgs, listen to your podcasts and lul silently. Also, cocks.
!|[SEX DRUGS & PIXELS]|!
Like most people, I have a wide range of interests. I adore anything from goofy people, offensive jokes, zombie flicks, stand-up comedians, and mind-altering experiences, to comic books, sexual positivity, philosophy, mysteries, and general bizarreness.
Also, I'm a die-hard gamer and I have an animated eagerness for spilling pixelated blood and a never-ending appetite for slaughtering moving polygons. I like to think of myself as a fairly laid-back broad. I was born with a sarcastic mindset, dark sense of humor, and an uttermost weakness for impassioned babble sessions about any video game (8-bit to 1080p) to date. I may be unorganized, immature, and irresponsible but Iím the funnest chick youíll have the chance to get teamed up with on xbox live.
You might spot me at any olí party with my signature tangled hair, ripped Hello Kitty pajama pants, and a battle-worn shirt. The girl who's most likely flapping her tongue, detailing the last minute curb stomp in her freshest match, growling about big corporations and government conspiracies, exploring the concept of eccentric theories or geeking out about some other irrelevant crap. The girl who strives to learn something new every day and genuinely enjoys turning strangers into friends.
That pathetic excuse for the girl next door, is me. If Iím not your cup of tea, you can not imagine the immensity of the fuck I do not give.
Last bit!~ Honestly, if you ever happen to have a hankering to just chill, blast some good jams & relish in lighthearted, videogame-related, blood-spraying with me... Hit me up. Shoot me a message if you want to talk about anything at all really, I'm a bit of an open book and not a bad listener, if I do say so myself. And hey~ If you let me, Iíll cheerfully put a couple of spiffy dreadlocks in your hair.
!|[CONSOLE LOVE AFFAIR]|!
Nintendo DS Lite [Own]
Game Boy Original
Game Boy Color
Game Boy Pocket [Own]
Game Boy Advance SP
Sony PS2 Slim
Sony PS3 [Own]
Xbox 360 Elite
Xbox 360 Arcade
Xbox 360 Slim [Own]
4. Hilarious Front-Paged Articles.
The staff on this site are just genius. I go here when I want up-to-date news and hilarious viewpoints. The editors remain unbiased and have so much personality.
5. Promoted Community Blogs.
I love reading everybody's different views about video games and their life stories. It's amazing to get such a wide range on this site and it's not just the same blog over and over again from some different asshole.
6. The Forum Mods aren't dickheads.
Seriously, this is a big plus. Techn0phile is extremely dedicated but still knows how to NOT be a douche nozzel. That's highly admirable these days. All of the modulars are bad ass and not power-hungry. Yay!! The Forumers are my favorite part of Destructoid. You all own and I can't name every one of you because there's too many. Thanks for reeeeally making me feel home.
7. No Apparent Reason Parties.
These are pretty self-explanatory, I'm sure. I have yet to attend one but when I do, expect many, many dry humps and alcohol tasting kisses. I toooooootally hope I can make it to PAX 09 but it's just a money issue. Best b'lee if I had the cash, I'd be on the first plane from Texas to Seattle to see you folks.
8. It's become Home for so many lost souls.
The Community owns. It's no surprise that everywhere you turn, you'll see a story from someone stating they feel at home on this website. They met people at NARPs and felt like they've known them for years. It's gratifying. I wonder if the founders could have seen this coming when they first started Destructoid.
9. Niero's Dedication to the site.
It leaves you speechless and with a warm feeling in your heart.
10. The Community contains many "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" Fans.
This is just bad ass. I love you fuckers.
11. It's home to some of the best Artists on the underbelly of the Internet.
It's true. Look at the wallpapers. The Destructoid comic. The talent on this site is remarkable.
12. The Community really loves each other and cares for each other's Happiness.
13. The Community feeds the Trolls, only when it's lulzy.
There truly are soooo many more reasons to love Destructoid but I had to make this list short and sweet because I was already running late to work. Just know, you guys own so hard. This website kicks ass. I hope we can someday be IRL friends and share topsauce stories of awesome, trade pr0n and just play some fucking games. I'll bring the booze and cupcakes.
PS: I feel bad for whoever is the C-Blog Recapper for today. =/