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DarkColossi.com
Go or perish, mortal.

As long as it's fun I'll play it.

Playing Halo 3, Call of Duty 4, Gears of War, and Virtua Fighter 5 a lot recently, because I like to destroy people in all of them, which I am proficient at. My gamertag is Righteous Ice if you're looking for a spirited match of something.

www.DarkColossi.com is my website, check it out and prepare to be sacrificed.
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Microsoft to release handheld device before Christmas '09?
Righteous Ice | 10:57 PM on 02.16.2008 16 comments


Ah, the elusive and long rumored Microsoft handheld stystem. Our reliable sources tell us it will act much like the PSP in its remote capabilities. It will also act like a GPS, have a Xbox marketplace, and an extensive online community. “It also acts as a heating pack for sore muscles, &/or a cooling pack if you want to put it in your lunch,” our source has revealed to us. Very innovative. Unfortunately, due to contract stipulations Microsoft has with itself, any system they release must outweigh their rivals ten to one. Subsequently the device is expected to weigh in at around twenty pounds. A small price to pay.

As for possible names, our sources tell us there are three which Microsoft has focused in on.

1. “The PSPDSGBA”
- Because, as a Microsoft executive has told our source, “Those letter combinations have generated a lot of revenue in the past.”
2. “The Xbox 173”
- “It doesn’t quite have half the capabilities of the 360, but it’s close.”
3. “The Shitter”
- “Let’s face it, it’s where you’re going to do most of your gaming with this thing.”

Finally, Microsoft is getting into the portable world. Tentative prices range from $150-$400. Either way, we expect that the "PSPDSGBA" will sell millions around Christmas time. (Analysts also expect high compatibility with the Xbox 720)

Check back often for more breaking news as only the Colossi can provide.



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13 comments | showing # 1 to 13
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Velt's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/16/2008 23:06
Velt
I call my DS "The shitter"... it stays on the bathroom.
mix's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/16/2008 23:07
mix
Wiisucks did his research.

All that info sounds like shit who the hell wants a 20 pound "portable" device? Unless it has like a 10" screen...
MrSadistic's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/16/2008 23:08
MrSadistic
I hope it can also be used a sandwich.
Righteous Ice's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/16/2008 23:12
Righteous Ice
The second version of the PSPDSGBA will also act as a George Foreman Grille.
So you can make sandwhiches on it.
mix's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/16/2008 23:18
mix
Nice, get a car battery and strap that bitch on your back! Portability for the win.
Righteous Ice's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/16/2008 23:25
Righteous Ice
Actually takes two car batteries.
tazarthayoot's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/16/2008 23:26
tazarthayoot
omg Wiisucks actually said something funny.
xdaytime's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/16/2008 23:43
xdaytime
Way to crush my fucking spirits.
MrSadistic's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/16/2008 23:46
MrSadistic
i write for yo mama

bitch
NyghtcrawleR's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/16/2008 23:57
NyghtcrawleR
Screw MS....
Righteous Ice's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/17/2008 00:04
Righteous Ice
Which name would you prefer?
BluDesign's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/17/2008 01:04
BluDesign
@Ice

Do you ever plan on writing anything that seems like a positive contribution to this site, or is it all just unfunny, unironic, uninspired, BS fakey crap from you?

I mean, if it is, that's cool, I just like to know where we stand on what to expect out of you.
Righteous Ice's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/17/2008 06:59
Righteous Ice
Plenty of excellent, hot, sticky ideas just waiting to pour out over everyone here dvddesign.
We save the good stuff for our "fake" blog that isn't funny, original, or anything like that. We try to make everyone who goes those as bored as we are when we put stuff up.
You have some good stuff though, I liked your one titled, "Video Reivew of Conflict: Denie Ops". Real original dvddesign. Real original

But hey, at least I'm not spamming right? Done with that.
Btw, like the new avatar?
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