Ah, the elusive and long rumored Microsoft handheld stystem. Our reliable sources tell us it will act much like the PSP in its remote capabilities. It will also act like a GPS, have a Xbox marketplace, and an extensive online community. “It also acts as a heating pack for sore muscles, &/or a cooling pack if you want to put it in your lunch,” our source has revealed to us. Very innovative. Unfortunately, due to contract stipulations Microsoft has with itself, any system they release must outweigh their rivals ten to one. Subsequently the device is expected to weigh in at around twenty pounds. A small price to pay.
As for possible names, our sources tell us there are three which Microsoft has focused in on.
1. “The PSPDSGBA”
- Because, as a Microsoft executive has told our source, “Those letter combinations have generated a lot of revenue in the past.”
2. “The Xbox 173”
- “It doesn’t quite have half the capabilities of the 360, but it’s close.”
3. “The Shitter”
- “Let’s face it, it’s where you’re going to do most of your gaming with this thing.”
Finally, Microsoft is getting into the portable world. Tentative prices range from $150-$400. Either way, we expect that the "PSPDSGBA" will sell millions around Christmas time. (Analysts also expect high compatibility with the Xbox 720)
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