Optimus Prime, the leader of the Autobots and savior of the world back in summer 2007 was picked up earlier this afternoon on charges of assault. According to police, Prime was caught sodomizing a Peterbilt truck in the parking lot of a local truck rally. The victim, a Peterbilt 351 custom upgraded rally truck, was resting in the parking lot behind the rally waiting for its turn to dazzle the crowd. According to local witnesses, Prime was seen slowly driving up in truck form before transforming into robot form and hopping onto the back end of the 351.

One of the witnesses, Jeb Brewry, was horrified: "Just the sounds...the sounds it made were terrible just terrible. The scraping...and the screeching...it was like listening to 50 foot screwdriver scrape the inside of some aluminum tubing. Over and over...and over..."

The timing couldn't be worse for Hollywood as Transformers 2 is set to release this summer. The charges will undoubtedly put a hamper in Prime's schedule, who was set to leave on a two month campaign promoting the film.

Not everyone thinks the release will be hurt. Prime's closest friend and fellow autobot wasn't available to talk due to a reoccurring voice box injury, but said through a translator: "Personally I'm not worried about Transformers 2. Any press is good press. This isn't the first time something like this has happened. Sure he has his vices, but doesn't everybody?"

According to sources, Peterbilt's legal team is preparing to go to court. Inside sources quoted a member of the team as saying it was, "An Opportunity of a Lifetime".


From Rawcritics.com