Midway Games, known mostly for developing the Mortal Kombat series, is the latest victim in this downward trending economy. Once a huge publisher of arcade games in the 80s and 90s, Midway is looking for financial help to keep them afloat.

The company was previously set to be sold to Warner Bros. for an estimated 33 million, but the deal fell through earlier this week when a top executive for Warner Bros. found his 11 year old son attempting a fatality on his 5 year old daughter.

The executive had this to say: "Upon realizing the content upon which Midway has earned its living over the past decade or so, I've decided to halt the deal unless they can move towards a more family friendly direction. I just can't put my full support behind having my son rip out my daughter's spinal cord."

In a statement released by a spokesperson for Midway today, it seems that the developer is now looking to the government for federal aid:



"We've formally asked the United States Government for a bailout. Compared to the other bailouts in recent months, and I won't mention names, I believe that we are Midway Bailoutasking for a moderate amount in order to keep one of the industry's most forefront video game trendsetters afloat. 1.2 billion isn't much to ask in order to continue giving the people of this great country the happiness they deserve."

Industry critics came out in force after the statement in opposition to the bailout.

"These guys are has-beens. NBA Jam? Mortal Kombat? They are riding the coattails of their own success and need to recognize that they are done for. No one plays those games anymore."

Senator Joseph Lieberman came forward shortly after the announcement today, saying he had received an apology email from Midway. He quoting them as saying: "Help us Mr. Lieberman; you're our only hope..."


Original Source

Welcome to part three in our series of video game weapons the world just is not ready for. In this part we continue to explore the various weapons the video game world has produced over the years and the dire consequences if they were to cross the digital barrier and become a part of our world.

Weapon: Purple Shell
Game: Mario Kart Series
Why the World isn't ready: Leading off the top of this list is a video game weapon that is favored by competitive racers everywhere. The purple shell is the single most important item for anyone falling behind in a race. If anything could change the tempo of a race in the blink of an eye; the purple shell rules all. If it were to enter into the real world...all bets are off... Or perhaps betting forever would be changed. No longer will skill and athleticism reign supreme as the individuals with the best timing on shell releases would rise to power. Running or driving fast would no longer be in the best interest of the racer, and maintaining a lead would be strategically avoided. Use it too soon or too late and you can kiss your Olympic gold medal goodbye.



Weapon: Lightsabers
Game: Star Wars Series
Why the World isn't ready: Though obviously originating from the silver screen, lightsabers have definitely made their presence felt in the video game world. Everyone wanted one in the late 70's and now that we can swing and throw them in video games, we are just that much closer to being able to swing them around in the real world. If scientists are ever able to figure out how to derive light from crystals; we are doomed. Backyard wrestling matches would turn into bloody fights where points are scored by how many dismembered limbs you can dodge. And heaven help us if they make their way into a war and onto the battlefield. Any ground force invasions would look like the Jedi onslaught at the end of Episode Two.



Weapon: V.A.T.S.
Game: Fallout 3
Why the World isn't ready: Imagine if Pip-Boys were readily available. It would put anything Apple can produce to shame; so you could say goodbye to the iTouch. The applications that people would come up with would have this world torn apart in a matter of weeks. On top of that, if anyone were ever able to actually invent the V.A.T.S. application for the Pip-Boy, we would be in serious trouble. Giving people the ability to pause their surroundings and target what you wanted, when you wanted it, would make even the best behaved alter boys thinking terrible things.



Weapon: The Excalibat
Game: Rise of the Triad
Why the World isn't ready: As a solid favorite during my childhood; this "weapon" would replace everything that is currently wrong with Major League Baseball, and totally revamp everything we know about complaining in regards to professional athletes. Forget steroids; the commission would be dying to go back to the good old days when players were only "juicing". Instead of lying to grand juries about if and when they used, athletes will now be on trial for multiple homicides. Stadiums would become death arenas, as players and fans alike suit up in full body armor, which would inevitably fail to stop the enchanted powers anyway.
Imagine an athlete coming up to bat in the bottom of the ninth with his team down by nine runs having the ability to tie it with one swing. Imagine the skill needed to make sure all ten super charged demolition balls go out of the park instead of embedding themselves in various infielders' faces.



Weapon: Topsy Turvy Bomb
Game: Armed & Dangerous
Why the World isn't ready: This one is dangerous. Imagine the threat...Imagine being able to flip the whole world upside down. No one would use it to get kittens out of trees; instead this would be used for the worst of the worst. People, cars, baby carriages and hot dog stands would instantly be sent "down" into orbit. Not even the handler would be safe. A solid set of sweaty hands and you will slip right off the handle bars on the bomb and down...or up...you go.




Articles in the series:
Video Game Weapons the World isn't ready for - Part One
Video Game Weapons the World isn't ready for - Part Two
Video Game Weapons the World isn't ready for - Part Three

After the announcement earlier this week that Treyarch had already begun production on Call of Duty "7", Infinity Ward released a statement that once again overshadowed any potential success that Treyarch had hoped to get with this release:

"After many long nights of round table idea chucking, we are happy to announce that production has begun on Call of Duty 8. Even though we are still working on Modern Warfare 2, we felt the need to introduce the next epic release in this series to the public."

The statement went on to denounce any potential claims that they are trying to steal Treyarch's thunder:

"We've only recently found out that Call of Duty 7 was in the works, and we wish Treyarch the best of luck. We are sure there are still some people that need a World War 2 fix somewhere in the world."

The statement concluded with a brief glimpse of what to expect:

"We have totally dropped the whole modern theme and we are looking to the future. You can expect Call of Duty 8 to reflect all the latest technological theories and advancements. We are taking warfare from the battlefield to the body. No one is safe. No one."

Upon contact, a spokesman for Treyarch only had this to say: "They are getting ahead of themselves. They should first worry about part 6 not sucking."


Source RawCritics

In an attempt to curb the holiday sales of Lego Rock Band, the makers of Guitar Hero announced the release of Guitar Hero: Super Hero Edition. No time was wasted after the announcement earlier this week that the popular toy brand, Lego, would be forming a partnership with the makers of Rock Band. Guitar Hero: Super Hero Edition was announced with no forewarning and was a pleasant surprise for industry representatives:

"No one had any idea this was coming, " said industry insider Matt Combs, "They surprised us all. However there is no denying that this one will be more kick ass than any that have come before."

Early press releases have revealed that the players will be able to shred using many of your favorite super heroes including Hulk, Mr. Stretch, and Thor. The release also indicated that each character will each have unique special powers.

"When a player uses Mr. Stretch they will be able to enter into Stretch mode in which multiple instruments can be played. As for the Hulk, the player can enter into RageShred mode where you can barrel your way through the crowd tossing fans every which way all while jamming away." Mr. Combs added.

In addition to abilities, the makers promised a massive and "epic" increase of scale.

"Players will be able to duel classic super villains for supremacy of the world. Depending on where you are in your super hero career you will be able to play in front of whole countries or even all of Earth. You can even expand your popularity to other planets if you'd like."

From Rawcritics.com

Optimus Prime, the leader of the Autobots and savior of the world back in summer 2007 was picked up earlier this afternoon on charges of assault. According to police, Prime was caught sodomizing a Peterbilt truck in the parking lot of a local truck rally. The victim, a Peterbilt 351 custom upgraded rally truck, was resting in the parking lot behind the rally waiting for its turn to dazzle the crowd. According to local witnesses, Prime was seen slowly driving up in truck form before transforming into robot form and hopping onto the back end of the 351.

One of the witnesses, Jeb Brewry, was horrified: "Just the sounds...the sounds it made were terrible just terrible. The scraping...and the screeching...it was like listening to 50 foot screwdriver scrape the inside of some aluminum tubing. Over and over...and over..."

The timing couldn't be worse for Hollywood as Transformers 2 is set to release this summer. The charges will undoubtedly put a hamper in Prime's schedule, who was set to leave on a two month campaign promoting the film.

Not everyone thinks the release will be hurt. Prime's closest friend and fellow autobot wasn't available to talk due to a reoccurring voice box injury, but said through a translator: "Personally I'm not worried about Transformers 2. Any press is good press. This isn't the first time something like this has happened. Sure he has his vices, but doesn't everybody?"

According to sources, Peterbilt's legal team is preparing to go to court. Inside sources quoted a member of the team as saying it was, "An Opportunity of a Lifetime".


From Rawcritics.com

Imagine if teleportation became a reality? Portal has allowed us to realize many of these possibilities in a virtual atmosphere, but in imagining the possibilities, what would we do with the technology if we could mess with stuff in real life? Countless ideas and creative outlets would begin to surface and we would have to take the good along with the bad. In kind of a spinoff of my previous weapons features; ahead are the top five alternate uses I could imagine the world being a better place with as a result of portals.

#5: Alternative Babysitting Techniques


#4: Rethinking Suicide


#3: The Incredible Anonymous Glory Hole


#2: Simplifying Quests


#1: The Cake is Mine...



From RawCritics