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11:30 PM on 06.28.2015

Band of Bloggers: Exploring Fantasy

Dang... I missed the last one.


Final Fantasy 6 is somewhat of an open world exploring game that I have been replaying.

Sry this will not be as nearly as cool as Tank Man... but I have plans for Tank Man to Return :)

So I have played Final Fantasy 6 a lot of times. I once emulated it on a Pentium 1, which was struggling to get the intro movie to go faster than 1 FPS. But when faces with epic mech walking I might as well be a Chinese vampire in front of a bag of rice that just got spilled. I watched all 15 minutes of the mechs walking, which I am sure that most of you know the segment only takes 2-3 minutes so my computer had to have been running the game at 1/30 of the normal speed. Less to say I went on and played through Chronotrigger at the same staggering rate however was slightly more playable due to the lack of as many visual effects. Anyway back to FF6.


Not that I have never been accustomed to RPGs. I played though Dragon Warrior I on the NES. Which is about the grindiest game a person could play back in the day. (I know there are worse out there but at least give me some credit) But to me the world of FF6 was truly expansive and it seemed every hour or so the world would expand and expand and expand and expand.

And then when I though they could not give me more, they went ahead and wrote around that to give me more to explore.

Less to say I kept the game on my list of games that I should buy if I ever have the system for. So once I bought a GBA I went to GameStop and bought the GBA version of Final Fantasy 6 I had been looking at for the last year or so. I was a different person then, early on in high school I did not have much of a social life. While everyone else was busy playing social games, I was struggling to understand basic sarcasm and what my friends were talking about when they were swooning over women.

I did not know I was suffering a serious case of sleep apnea and that most of my higher brain functions were not working and that really cut me out of most of the social aspects of high school. I think that kept me out of a lot of unnecessary drama but I was quite oblivious to everything happening and yet constantly cereous about the people around me.

Instead of worrying about life, I played video games when I was free of homework, chores, and marching band.

At night I would pop open my GBA SP and play it till I got tired. Instantly, I returned to the great plains of the fantasy world as the heroes that were going to bring back magic to defeat the evil empire. For a 2D game there was just tons of detail the designer put into the world of this game. I think that is what really impressed me the most about it.

I was more than content to play my older retro video game consoles; this game provided complex puzzles that could only be solved through writing down clues that were hidden across a vast and interesting landscape.

Which, I have to wonder what shock went through the gaming community when they saw Final Fantasy have 3D plane in the over world. The small depth really broke up the characters from the world and vise versa. Really showed off what could be done with 2D sprites in a 3D world, just a shame it took many years after that for devs to pick up on the tricks done in the latter generation.

It really just made traveling the world a lot more fun, especially when you finally got the Air ship and were able to do donuts in the sky. I spent quite amount time doing such.

This month I am playing though it again but with a different perspective than my past self played this game. Beginning to learn RPG maker VX ACE, I wanted to see/learn from the best of the era of 2D RPGs to see what it takes to make a great world to explore. There are so many quick vanilla ports of RPG maker games, and while they are fun they do all look the same and generally feel the same.

So it is the best place to look, as there is just a ton of details in sprites for the towns.

Well that is all I have for now :) I hope you had a great month!!


11:45 PM on 06.26.2015

Three things Nintendo should fix on the Wii U before the NX

Well I guess I deserve it.

I went out of my way to buy a Wii three months ago and they went ahead an announced they will announce the new “NX” next year at E3. It really does make sense considering the current status of the Wii U.


It does not help that there was a hesitation in buying their latest system this round. I simply was not in a position to buy one, and I have to say there still is a lot of great game on the Wii that I am not quite done with yet.

I just bought Blaster Master on the VC after selling my physical copy to a really cool game store down the street from me. As you noticed my avatar has not changed, and that series really means a lot to me even though it was kind of too easy to let it go. I recently remembered that I have Final Fantasy 6 on the VC and downloaded it when I was at the game store playing Splatoon on their awesome Internet. (I have a wired adaptor, which made the experience even better) Another game I had to let go but this was easier as I only had the GBA version and the SNES has better picture and audio.

Really have been enjoying playing Final Fantasy 6 again. I forgot the amount of detail that went into that game. A friend of mine went into the army and he basically told me and another friend that we had to make an RPG before he comes back in 6 months XD. Luckily I have RPG Maker VX ACE and that is going to make things somewhat easier. But every special effect I see in that game took a keen mind and a really good programmer to do. Really makes me appreciate the technical feat it is even now.

But it was in trying to play this game that I was constantly reminded of some of the limitations of the Wii U. It almost made me feel as if the console itself was a bit rushed. Either if they had pushed it before the 3DS or waited year longer to put better hardware in it, I feel that the Wii U could have been a very different machine.


I should mention when I mean better hardware, I mean hardware that is more compatible or has more utility rather than just the normal arms race we see with Microsoft and Sony constantly trying to pull.

sry I could not help myself there

Not that Nintendo has not gone out of their way to fix the Wii U, but there is simply a lot that could have been done to spruce up the Wii U to be the system they always had vision it to be.

1) Wii U controller Support for Wii emulation


Its really, really, really, really, really should have been an easy thing to code into the emulation software. I know for a fact that the Wii U does not have Wii hardware running in tandem with Wii U like how the Gameboy Advance works. So it really has me questioning why it would be impossible to get a Bluetooth controller working with the Wii side of the software. Especially considering the Wii classic design is so similar to the Wii U Gamepad and Wii U Pro Controller.


In many way this could be as simple as getting the 3DS working as a controller for Super Smash Wii U. $5 for functionality that would save an extra $20-$50 seems worth it to me and I really think it would be worth it for a large majority of their consumers.

If 5 million consumers spend the money for the patch you literally have $25 million on a somewhat simple patch job.


2) Fix the TV or Screen selection options + Fix GUI in general


I have to think that a lot of people like me use their Wii U pad away from their TV whenever they have a game that does not require it. But what is the point of having the system constantly sending an extra signal between the TV and the Gamepad? It just uses more power and sends signals to a TV that is not on.

(Why the heck does my TV have to be on to switch from Wii U to Wii?)

It just does not make any logical sense to me, and just seems to be poorly programed.


Why would I want the TV and the Wii U pad to be on at the same time when I have to aim the Wii mote at the TV or use the Gamepad solely for menus? They single handedly think that all of the time I would want to uses either the Wii-mote or the Gamepad. Which really frustrates me when I am already in the other room with the classic controller and the Wii Pad all set up for a game session, but it requires that I use IR to select if I want to use just the TV or the TV and Wii U pad.


It would not be so bad, but these are the things that Nintendo usually does well. But there is some over bearing force that keeps reminding me that it has to be a certain way. Which this would be acceptable, but its already three years into the life of the system and they still have not patched it out…


3) Finish unifying the account systems


Again as tantalizing the NX is for being the “latest and greatest system” it has a lot of baggage from the Wii, 3DS and Wii U. Rightfully so as Nintendo has taken their time and used their side of the table to their own advantage. But again there really is only so long before consumers are going to happy with their slow and unnecessarily costly transition to a unified account system. Without any significant reason to why it is taking so long, or when it might actually be fixed leaves consumers wondering if it will ever be fixed.


I totally understand it takes time and money to port games from one system to another. But when and how much it cost this time to get all of the games that were digitally bought onto the Wii U?

Then there is that whole issue of Wii Ware, which I really hope they are planning to somehow include into the transfer. It was well-spent money on exclusive content for the Wii. (including the last Gradius game to grace us all)

I guess in the long run, I hope Nintendo understand that there is a lot of things that should be done before NX comes. So far they seem to be doing a pretty good job. But it would be cool to see more of a commitment to adding these things to their great system.

Well it is getting kind of late here I should play some more FF6 or Heroes of the Storm.

Hope you are doing well.


2:30 AM on 06.13.2015

Im back again! (LETS GET HYPED)

Dang got a new job and my Internet goes down for almost two weeks and the site has completely changed again.

Either a lot of people have changed their portrates or there is a TON of new and interesting people posting blogs and really doing a wonderful job at it.

I apologize if I have been quiet lately... between work and sleep I have not had too much time to do stuff except play though Splatoon :D Which if you own a Wii U you should really give that game a try. I really respect the team that made that game as there are ever more reasons to check and log into that game every day. If there was a combination of PSO and a FPS, literally Splatoon is it.

 I forgot how much I liked drawing graffiti. Which is one of the feature I spent a ton of time in Jet Set Radio doing. (yes I was poor and did not have the Xbox, so yes I played this game more than JSRF and while I totally understand from a technical standpoint why the second one is better I do enjoy the first one more.)

But I guess what would really get me hyped is to see Smilebit rebuilt into a new studio that will devlop the next Jet Set Radio game.

I would love to see the gang brought back together for another go because where the technology currently holds really could make a game where the whole world is cell-shaded. (software wise, not static textures which was the biggest complaint I heard from people that played the remastered version of JSR)

In this day and age of Rockstar making whole worlds for GTA5, wouldn't it be cool if you could do Jet Set Radio for the whole main island of Japan? Then add online connectivity to the world with graffiti and a whole new social aspect that would be like what people are dreaming from in Sword Art Online and you could really have a crazy awesome game.

Thats what would really get me hyped!


3:46 PM on 05.18.2015

If LOL was to DOTA then this is (continued in blog)

The League of Legends of League of legends.

Heroes of the storm Review

I have to say, all of the negative press that Blizzard had for not buying Defense of the Ancients before Valve had an option to do so is now obsolete in every way and form.

Not to say that some people were right in their outrage that they did not tack full advantage of the community and straight up purchase the rights to it. But I have a feeling what they have been doing is taking up their time and watching the industry move with the new genre and taking notes on what works and what does not work in such a heavy team reliant genre.

While most initial critics have simply written this game off as a more simplistic version of DOTA 2 or League of Legends, I have personally found those opinions to be somewhat untrue.

Dota or Defense of the Ancients was a very complicated game. You have 108 Characters in Dota, Maybe more. They all have unique traits to choose from in a certain path that is completely set from the time that you select which one you want to play. There is a shop with almost an infinite combinations of items that allows you to build into almost and direction possible. (given that you have the gold to do so)

And on top of that there are buffs that can be collected. (I realize that only skims the very surface of the game)

League of Legends came onto the scene and decided that the genre was too complicated. Some characters in Dota literally waited the whole game to use one ability, item shop was overly complicated to new players, and there was just a lot of extra mechanics that while may make deeper game-play really did not add to the user experience. So they simplified all of that into a much more streamlined form so that the game is quicker paced and abilities could be used much more often.

However in League of Legends, they over simplified the item shop to the point that only specific build really give you the most power for your gold, teams would focus on getting carries fed, and there were specific classes in the game that were not as nearly as useful as they were in DOTA (supports and some junglers)

So I have to think that Blizzard instead of rushing into the MOBA genre was taking notes on how to make really good MOBA. Because there are some fatal flaws in the MOBA genre:

  • Games can take more than an hour to finish
  • Large Classes of characters are overlooked
  • Too many roles for characters
  • Not enough variety in environment

So it was quite refreshing to find that this game has dramatically altered what it means to be a MOBA. In Heroes of the Storm:

  • All team members share XP
  • There is no gold system
  • Q,W,E,R is no longer a linear selection
    process and includes alternatives
  • 4 Major Class Seeds
  • 7 unique maps with different objectives
  • Matches take 20-25 minutes
  • Removed Shops

At first I was more that skeptical that such a system could work. But from a pure developer standpoint balancing this game will not be the 5 year game of cat and mouse that DOTA2 and LOL take when it comes to introducing "new champions. (Does it really need to take more than four years to find the best solution to balancing Lee Sin?)

Instead of getting items with special abilities, you can opt out of making your skills more powerful for: items on cool-downs, new passives, new abilities. This makes it a ton easier to give a certain character more power without directly linking it to another that is already in a good place. (Like that blind champion previously mentioned...)

Likewise kill stealing and last hitting are not as useful in this game. Really they are only there for specific champions that gain stacks through a special ability, and even those are different for every champion that might have the same named skill.

I think this is great cause then players can focus more on positioning and objectives, instead of farming.

There are three different classes in the game:

Specialize in killing people and things really fast, but they also die really fast too. Have to utilize kit to move around and get kills without being killed.
Typically they specialize in sieging the enemy base, they have abusive kits that can push and have just enough crowd control to get out alive.
They fight. No, really they specialize in staying alive during battles and having the croud control to keep enemy assassins from getting to their own.
Altering the playing field/heroes so that they have a wining positions. However, they can do tons of damage in this game.

The nice thing about how that you get to choose which skills you pick is that almost every class has the possibility of doing the most siege damage, hero damage, or acquire the most team XP. So there is still a wide variety of options and different ways to play the game without having a certain champion stuck to bottom lane...

I started playing the game with Jim Raynor from Starcraft.

I was pleasantly surprised to find when you unlock the extra abilities that he has the option of getting two wards that he can drop about every 30 seconds. Which as a ranged carry means that you never have to worry about people hiding in the bushes. But again that is the tip of the iceburg.

Anyway I would totally give this game a try if you are interested in trying out a MOBA. It is not as causal of a game that most people would like to write it off as.

Should be coming out in June and I expect to see you soon!



5:45 PM on 05.08.2015


Okay, so there has been a ton happening in the last few 3-4 weeks at Destructoid and the C-blogs were off for a while. I actually started a new job and found myself with two jobs and very little spare time. However that is a great transition that should get even better once I am out of training

So I totally understand that people would not be able to submit any art to the art contest I am having for a a Documentary Film that is about the staff of Destructoid.

But I will not go gentle into that good night XD

So it is time to REBOOT!!!

So the title/subtitle of the Documentary is called "Living the Dream". Obviously any good movie is going to need a good graphic to carry the film, so I want you Dtoiders to make movie posters and other concept art to do advertizing with.

But also let you creativity go crazy! If you want to design paper craft or anything besides painting and drawing I would totally like to see what you can make :D

But if you rather do random stuff with Mr. Destructoid and the staff members in cartoon or pixel art I will be looking and rewarding those pictures too!

So you will need to figure out what "Living the Dream" would look like for the staff members Dtoid and some how combine that with the history of Dtoid ( I just got Adam Dork on board so 160 Chicken McNuggets are totally a possibility)

Here is a full list of staff members you can choose from to put into the picture, you do not have to put them all in but the more the better ;D:

Jonathan Holmes
Hamza Aziz
Niero Gonzalez
Robert Summa
Jordan Devore
Andy Dixon
Dale North
Brad Rice
Tom Fronczak
Nick Chester
Chris Morris
Benjamin PerLee
Chad Concelmo
Jon Carnage
Ray VS
Ben Janca
Spencer Hays
Max Scoville
Adam Dork
Jim Sterling
Steven Hansen

I want all submissions sent to me by email: [email protected] yes that is my real name XD

Before Sunday May 17th at 7pm Arizona Time.

As I said I really just want creative things from the community to bring out in the movie itself and the marketing. So if you have epic MS paint drawings, send them over!!!

There will be prizes!!!


5:09 PM on 04.27.2015


I know I know that is the killer question that everyone has been debating over! Especially with all this CRAZY news going on with Konami. But this is the biggest and most important issue that you all should be concerned with ;)

I do not think I have to point out to the older people the importance of Gradius on the NES. But there was this SHUMP that did vertical scrolling that was a lot of fun, and it has been 6 years since we have seen a new version of Gradius. The last version I can remember is Gradius Rebirth, and even though it was flawed due to the limitations of the Wii, it was a great remastering of a classic title and series.

I just have to keep wondering who moved the goal post at Konami, because it use to be they would leap and do bounds to sell a million copies of their games.

Suddenly the market has changed so that a million copies of a game sold is no longer "good enough." Its like they don't even care to produce the games that made them famous and profitable. They have the golden goose, but they rather no do the up-keep to ensure that it keeps laying golden eggs.

But enough politics lets talk about GRRRRRRAAAAAADDDDIIIIIIUUUUUUUSSSS!!! And what made it an awesome series:

1) The music, you might be a total hater on 80s electronic music. But boy does this game try hard to make fun and exciting sound track to match the SHUMP skills needed to beat the game.

2) Very much rouge a like game-play.

I am not saying it is impossible to beat the game without dying, but every death is going to set you back beyond just trying to re-start the level. Some of them are next to impossible without power ups and you loose them all when you die.

It is possible to get stuck without being able to get them in a harder level and being forced to restart the game. But it really pushed you to maximize your itemization. (the order you get power ups, and how you use them through the game.)

3) Ordering

It is easy to max out weapons and items, however there are some that you have to choose over others: Lasers or double shot?

Trying to figure that out between collecting the chips necessary to upgrade your ship is really difficult.

But then you also have to figure out which ones work the best in each level.

I cannout help with the popularity of games like Housemarque's Resogun (that 2D bi-direction scrolling that is reminiscent of Defender), and Geometry Wars 3: Dimensions (Which is reminiscent of Asteroids and Robotron) That there would be a decent market for a HD REMIX of Gradius.

But that is just a crazy thought.


1:28 AM on 04.26.2015

Dtoid Documentary Art Contest

But you can always send me your awesome art any time!!!

But you can always send me your awsome art any time!!!

So Destructogedion happened

But I have come to announce that:


Well kind of... I thought by now the blogs would be working well but it does not look like things ar quite where they should be...

So I am extending the contest another week, and I might have to do it again if things are not fixed by then. But the heat is on still and I wanted to make it known that there will be a contest soon.

If you have no clue what I am refering to please check out this link about the contest... hopefully it will work.

I really have no clue how long Dtoid is going to continue to have technical issues but if you want to submit your art to the contest please email me at: [email protected] (yes that is my real name)

Or simply post them here if you can ever read this...

Anyway thanks awesome people and I will try to strive through the ashes into our PHOENIX!!!


6:02 PM on 04.13.2015

Art Contest Update: A New Challenger!

Well I have two big things to announce:

First of all Caz has been wonderful in working up some nice graphics and stuff for the KickStarter, but he also is really busy for a while. So while I will be able to use some of the images he has worked for the Kickstarter I can go ahead and use more community members in creating graphics for the Kickstarter. 

I can get into the specifics in what I need soon, but I need to work on the KickStarter myself in getting the wording right, making sure that the stretch goals are reasonable, and getting the reward teirs written down right. Hopefully I will have time to send that to you in the next week or so.

Second, I just received an email from Jim Sterling this mourning! He said that he could probably be in it. So you might want to include Jim Sterling into the list of people that I gave you from my last blog (just in case I will be updating it to include him too)

I am very excited to see thing going so well, I will be looking for your submissions on the 25th :D


4:27 PM on 04.12.2015

Art Contest: Living the Dream

So Last week I announced that I was making a documentary film on the staff of Destructoid. This week I am announcing an art contest for the community to compete in for fun.

I already asked Caz about designing the graphics for the Kickstarter. (You can check out his cool magazine here) but I still would love to get the community involved even more. So to respect the line of communication I already have open with him I will wait till I get a clear answer from him before moving on.

So the title/subtitle of the Documentary is called "Living the Dream". Obviously any good movie is going to need a good graphic to carry the film, so I want you Dtoiders to make movie posters and other concept art to do advertizing with.

But also let you creativity go crazy! If you want to design paper craft or anything besides painting and drawing I would totally like to see what you can make :D

But if you rather do random stuff with Mr. Destructoid and the staff members in cartoon or pixel art I will be looking and rewarding those pictures too!

So you will need to figure out what "Living the Dream" would look like for the staff members Dtoid and some how combine that with the history of Dtoid ( I just got Adam Dork on board so 160 Chicken McNuggets are totally a possibility)

Here is a full list of staff members you can choose from to put into the picture, you do not have to put them all in but the more the better ;D:

Jonathan Holmes
Hamza Aziz
Niero Gonzalez
Robert Summa
Jordan Devore
Andy Dixon
Dale North
Brad Rice
Tom Fronczak
Nick Chester
Chris Morris
Benjamin PerLee
Chad Concelmo
Jon Carnage
Ray VS
Ben Janca
Spencer Hays
Max Scoville
Adam Dork
Jim Sterling

Some of these images will be shared via Kickstater so here is some constraints if you need them:

So yeah, 4:3, at least 1024x768, and 50MB max.

Oh Yeah it would be good if you could get Mr. Dtoid in there too.

Good art takes a while, so I am going to give you two weeks to work on posters and other stuff. So please submit your entries to me via PM or on this blog by April 25th and then I can make another blog where all of the content will be shown and voted on by the community. Clear winner will be able to take 3 keys out of the pot of their choice and the rest will be randomly distributed though:


Though I only have 20-25 keys I thing (some of them are DLC so I won't be giving out pieces of a game, but if there is DLC you want on the list from last week tell me!!!)

So yeah that is the art contest, I am looking forward to submissions!!!

Remember the cut off time will be April 25th at 11:00pm Mountain Time Zone

I hope you are having a great week!!!


10:56 AM on 04.04.2015

Announcing The Independent Destructoid Staff Documentary

First off some music :D

Thanks to a few influential/encouraging/wonderful people I have talked to on C-blogs. (including Hamza) I am going to make a documentary on the staff of Destructoid. Trying to focus on the people behind this awesome community.

Visiting this site for the last nine years, I have indulged in quite the plethora of amazing articles, comments, and threads. Film people are always telling me to write and make movies about "Things you know about." Which being a member of this community for such a long time I would like to think that I would be able to make a piece that can do the site and the community justice.

This documentary is going to mainly consist of in person interview on site or around the area that the staff members lives. (get dat mise en scene perfect)

Asking them questions that will fill in the major gaps in Destructoid's history: The making of Destructoid, the golden years of Destructoid, and the future of Destructoid. From the prospective of the staff members, and in their own words.

Ideally it would be great to spend about a day just to get to know each person and share their life-story and how their experiences at Destructoid set them up later in life.

I have been in pre-production since January, slowly but surely contacting as many staff members as I could get in contact with and ask them if they would want to join in.

So far I have:

Jonathan Holmes
Hamza Aziz
Niero Gonzalez
Robert Summa
Jordan Devore
Andy Dixon
Dale North
Brad Rice
Tom Fronczak
Nick Chester
Chris Morris  
Benjamin PerLee
Chad Concelmo
Jon Carnage
Ray VS
Ben Janca
Spencer Hays
Max Scoville

I am still working to see if I can get more of the women of Destructoid into the Documentary, and there is still a bunch more of the current staff that I still need to ask. (please pm me)

Why am I announcing this now?

First: To bring up some attention. I am not very well known and after talking to my friend it made sense that I need to get the word out.

Second: I need help!!!

I am going to KickStarter for this Documentary, Nireo thought that I could pull 20k on this.  So there is quite a lot of ground work I still need to go through.

Creative Destructoid members, I desperately need your help to pull off this project.

If you are good with: Drawing, 3D animation, Music, and any other style of art I really could use some help.

I already asked Alphadeus to work on a soundtrack, but I would be happy to include any other composers from the community!

As film maker I am not the best a graphic design and I know that if I have any chance to have a successful Kickstarter I need some amazing graphics to get a hold of people's attention. So in efforts to keep this documentary strictly in the community I am going to start a contest soon with give away from the extra Humble Bundle Keys I have yet to redeem:

There has to be something there that someone might want...

I should be able to organize the competition next week. But if you want to go ahead and start getting drawing done I would be more than okay with material already being made.

Whelp that is my big update, I hope that you guys are interested in a video like this :D It should be completed and ready for the 10th year anniversary :)


12:29 AM on 03.14.2015

Not Quite 100%

This is a NVGR blog, though I just though it would have been a good blog about people that cannot get into 100% completion due to frustration. (Sorry this is a rant, probably a sad excuse for a C-blog)

So I have been quite busy, or at least that is what my body is constantly telling me. I recently started up part time work and it has been great getting back into the groove of being part of the work force.

After my three year escapade of being jobless getting back to work has been quite the blessing. However, it has shown me that even though I thought I was done with sleep apnea that regardless of the entire year of being treated with a Constant Air Pressure machine that my body has been irreparably damaged, or at least has not quite recovered from the lack of energy that my genetics have left me in.

I do not know if it is just the fact I am not use to working or if that my recovery is much slower than expected but I have been flat out exhausted after working... to the point I do not want to play video games or watch TV; which is never a good sign. Or at least I do not think it is from the disillusion playing them rather the lack of energy to truly get into them.

Again I had hoped that the last 9 months of daily exercise with the year of treatment had somewhat lessened my condition but I am afraid that my body simply is not recovering as fast as I hoped. Ideally my neurologist told me that if I had lost weight down to the national average that there would be less pressure on my airways at night and during the day. But I have lost about 40 pounds and yet I still notice that my endurance is much less than my co-workers and friends.

Less to say I really would like to be commenting more and sending out more c-blogs on a regular basis, but it is getting really hard to find the energy/motivation to do so. Its not that I am leaving or anything but right now I feel very run down and it is hard to summon the energy to do what I use to do when I was jobless.

Though I think this has opened my mind to the fact that life is nothing but transition peirods. Anyone that does not think so must be in some form of denial.

Lets see... broke up with my GF during Valentine's weekend. We both agreed that we just were not ready to move on to more of a romantic relationship. Which as much as I can see this being a great thing for both of us, I cannot help but have that part of my brain going and saying that the relationship could have worked out and that I am a total idiot for doing what I did. Its not like that I had someone in plan to move onto but I just could tell that the distance and that I just simply lacked the means to continue on.

Literally sold my next to priceless NES collection just to pay for the airplane tickets so I could do it in person.

But I rather had been there cause I have had too many friends completely break off things not in person and she was and is such a wonderful person that I simply could not do that to her. We had been dating for three years and there was a point in time during those years I had considered selling everything I owned to marry her. But again the whole joblessness got in the way, maybe it will work out for the best. But right now I am getting hit right and left about the fact that I am single again.

So right now I am kind of in the dumps emotionally and I probably should not be writing this, but I have been living with the knowledge of my sleep apnea has probably permanently decreased my total life span by a quarter or more. (probably 1/3 to be more precise)

I might actually know what the effects of this machine feels like...

Though this is really just motivation to try harder, and hopefully accomplish more with the time I have left. I have a few really cool projects I am working on: That industrial art video that I still have yet to finish, some local business commercials, and a documentary that I should be announcing soon :D That is very video game related, and very Destructoid related.

So things are not all doom and gloom for me but it sure helped to write this all out. But then again I think that is what this community is for.

I have not forgotten about you!!!

Thanks for reading this :3

- Retro


7:20 PM on 02.27.2015

The Adventure of Tank Man - Band of Blogs

The adventure of Tank Man


Tank Man


All the blue links are optional, but they are there to enhance your reading enjoyment, open them in a new tab please.




HL3 Confirmed!!!


Some believe that mystic legends where only in the past, that all natural magic in the world had been completely obliterated in the age of technology and science. While, those people are technically correct that as science and technology continue to prove the super natural as simply facts and not myth.

But alas the age of Legends is not over, but the only to the profile of my friends father's Xbox live account prove true that there would be a man that had the strength of a tank.


Chapter 1: Birth (optional music)


Tank Man was like any other human child at birth.

There is not much to say except that his father and mother were intimate and 8-9 months later he was born. And what a day it was, his father was checking the sex of Tank Man and the baby blissfully cried so loud after being confirmed that he was indeed male that the entire world crashed.

Literally the world could not withstand his awesomeness so it fell to pieces and needed to be restarted due to the shier force that Tank Man's baby voice brought.

Once back into the world Tank Man had forcefully restarted a second birth just for good measure.

This time the world was ready and no longer he broke the world with the amazing voice.

So obviously Tank man was commanding and had Sarge hair with the Chopper mustache.

And so the world asked Tank Man what skills we want:

Strengths 10
Perception 5
Endurance 9
Charisma 5
Intelligence 1
Agility 9
Luck 1


Chapter 2 Early life


Tank Man lived a troubled early years, while he wanted to do studies and be like his father he felt that there was simply so much more that he could learn by going out in the world and smashing things.

However  he did enjoy cake and shooting bbs at the roaches.


Chapter 3 the goat (If you have not stopped the music you should :3)


Tank Man did not want to take the GOAT and it took quite the conversation to get him to go to class. However in a last attempt in rebellion he did go to the GOAT wearing nothing but his underwear. However, everyone failed to notice how under-dressed he was and assumed that it was okay.

Tank man did not remember much from the GOAT except that a familiar tune played after he selected his root traits there was tune the universe screamed out.
Now as a man he was ready to move on.


Chapter 4 Father leaves with no warning


So Tank Man wakes up to find that his father is gone and goes on the epic quest of finding his father and returning to his true love Alamanda.

However he did not leave the vault without getting his fist bloody with victory. He wanted to stealth-fully make it out of the vault but due to scripted events... Either that or the creator forgot to sneak at the right moments and completely messed up not running out when the door first opened XD.


Chapter 5 Outcast from paradise


It did not take Tank man long to understand that he had iron fists and max melee skills, so using bullets was useless when it only took 4 hit combo to kill off smaller vermin.

Tank Man has a strong sense of justice, so when he first ran into a small town with a nuclear missile in the middle. He planed on staying there, as he loves living on the edge of death.

Meeting with the town sheriff he knew there was a bad dude in a bar that was so weak he was trying to blow up the town for 250caps. Tank Man did not have to to tell Lucas Simms he simply beat down the evil man and took all of his belongings without a questions.

Just doing what an average American citizen would do:


Cause honestly this town does not have a jail, and screw letting the dude kill Sims for his gun.


Chapter 6 Righteous Quests  (Audio track please switch)


Tank Man got bored of Megaton fast because he was literally too dumb to fix anything and did not have the materials to do anything.

He knew he had to master his skills to do anything and started wondering the waist land.

First of all screw raiders, and thank them.

They sure know how to gang up on a man, but what they did not know is that Tank Man used the simulators and read Karate magazines all of his life and was on the same level of that of Bruce Lee. He never mentioned this to anyone because they surely would have locked him away for being too amazing and dangerous.

So once tank man was surrounded with 5 raider with assault rifles and full view of him, but they were no match for his agility and speed. In less than 3 hits he combo the whole group in less than a minute with 80% of his health left.

He left none a live, if they flee they flee to their death.

None were left alive.




Except that one guy that ran so fast that he died from falling off a cliff.


Chapter 7 (you may stop your audio for now)


Tank Man found his father in the second trip out in the waste land... So he paused the game and reloaded from an earlier state and completely forgot to go back.

Cause seriously forget him...

Instead raided a grocery store, because that is more important.

FOOD, honestly it take quite a lot of it to feed a titan like Tank Man. Even though he is basically a tank and can take 40 rounds of bullets in his gut and keep moving. But food is amazing.

Specifically Blamdco and Cheese, that made Tank Man Happy... and gave him radiation.

It really quite got annoying that raiders kept trying to kill him, which a few punches in the face and the occasional decapitation by punching kept them away.

Ham and Steaks, yum!!!


Chapter 8 poor John


After killing so many raiders and picking up their armor Tank Man needed to make multiple trips, however after quick traveling to the grocery-store again a pack of viscous dogs attacked a NPC in front of him as he was unable to save him in time.

Tank man killed all of the dogs in time and then looked through his things to go tell his family.

There was a key and a audio tape and it was identified that his name was John.

Tank Man mourned John's death and tried to find whatever he was trying to give to his friend in the junk yard but after pending thirty minutes and gave up....

Poor John...


Chapter 9


Tank Man went to gray ditch to kill the freaks of nature, because there could only be one freak of nature... himself.

So he went around and killed all the flaming ants with his fist.

The queen's guards could not stand any chance, but at a high cost because Tank Man became a drug addicted and was suffering all the mighty effect to clear the town of such vermin.


Chapter 10 Valut 108 (change music please)


I do not think I have to point out what a beast Tank Man is but let me digress:

Gary 33: 1 punch
Gary 27: 1 punch

Gary 32: 1 punch

Gary 29: 1 punch

Gary 36: 1 punch

Gary 43: 1 punch

Gary 41: 1 punch

Gary 1: 1 punch

Gary 25: 1 punch






Seriously screw Gary 47........................................................................

It took 2 punches...

Chapter 10 Downtown (change music again please)

By this time Tank Man has leveled a lot, and literally cannot be gunned down by super mutants with mini-guns and rocket launchers.

So he took the opportunity to unite his enemies with the pain of his fist in their face.

At some point I felt sorry for all the mercenaries, raiders, and super mutants because there literally not much they could do to stop Tank Man.

Literally, every foe quaked in their boots cause they could not stand Tank Man.

Man did he stroll...

And make it all the way to Lincoln Memorial to help out the slaves regain their identity?

Nah, he just wanted to kick some slaver @$$.


Chapter 11 Friends and glitches


Tank Man made friends with one of the super mutants and completely respects him.

There was several times where Tank Man just broke the game:

And there was several times the game broke itself... Tank Man was very displeased that he could not play the game for an entire week due to the fact the DRM needed an internet connection to let him use the saves on his computer...

Chapter 12?

Is this really the end? No but there is nothing more to tell right now.

Authors Notes:

It was fun but boy did we over look things back in the day. It seems for everything that goes right in this game there is at least 12 game crashing errors I ran into in the 20 days I was able to play the game... so 60% of the time I had technical difficulties that literally have been there since release...

Maybe I am spoiled in that I use Valve products a lot and they fix up their older games regardless of the fact if people want them fixed.

But most of them fans online had fixes to make it work but in the end it just really confused me on why they could have not taken the week or day it patch the master copy instead of causing people to do so much manual labor... for a game that crashes a lot.

I love this engine, but it will crash at any moment. So I saved a lot and I saved often. Even then there was some times where I had to redo ten minutes of progress and it was not fun.

GFWL... this must be removed from the source code, there is no reason for it to be there.

Oh yeah and I could have played it a week more but my internet went down and apparently your saves get swapped out when the DRM does not get the okay sign... There is an easy fix but honestly it has been too long for the DRM to mean anything.

So as much as I enjoyed this game the lack of support and other stuff really killed it for me. I wished Bethesda will think about actually supporting their games post launch... cause in so many ways this is beyond pathetic. Especially if you wanted to sell me on Fallout 4, this just seems sloppy...

But if you can get past all the technical issues this game has there is a lot of fun to be had!

Thanks for reading!!!


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