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I play really old video games and enjoy them.

My parents bought an NES and MM6 and Metroid and that is how I got into gaming.

You could say I am a Nintendo fan boy, but I am starting to get off of that train as of recent.

Anyway hope you enjoy my blogs and feel free to leave a comment.

Following (27)  

Well I have two big things to announce:

First of all Caz has been wonderful in working up some nice graphics and stuff for the KickStarter, but he also is really busy for a while. So while I will be able to use some of the images he has worked for the Kickstarter I can go ahead and use more community members in creating graphics for the Kickstarter. 

I can get into the specifics in what I need soon, but I need to work on the KickStarter myself in getting the wording right, making sure that the stretch goals are reasonable, and getting the reward teirs written down right. Hopefully I will have time to send that to you in the next week or so.

Second, I just received an email from Jim Sterling this mourning! He said that he could probably be in it. So you might want to include Jim Sterling into the list of people that I gave you from my last blog (just in case I will be updating it to include him too)

I am very excited to see thing going so well, I will be looking for your submissions on the 25th :D

So Last week I announced that I was making a documentary film on the staff of Destructoid. This week I am announcing an art contest for the community to compete in for fun.

I already asked Caz about designing the graphics for the Kickstarter. (You can check out his cool magazine here) but I still would love to get the community involved even more. So to respect the line of communication I already have open with him I will wait till I get a clear answer from him before moving on.

So the title/subtitle of the Documentary is called "Living the Dream". Obviously any good movie is going to need a good graphic to carry the film, so I want you Dtoiders to make movie posters and other concept art to do advertizing with.

But also let you creativity go crazy! If you want to design paper craft or anything besides painting and drawing I would totally like to see what you can make :D

But if you rather do random stuff with Mr. Destructoid and the staff members in cartoon or pixel art I will be looking and rewarding those pictures too!

So you will need to figure out what "Living the Dream" would look like for the staff members Dtoid and some how combine that with the history of Dtoid ( I just got Adam Dork on board so 160 Chicken McNuggets are totally a possibility)

Here is a full list of staff members you can choose from to put into the picture, you do not have to put them all in but the more the better ;D:

Jonathan Holmes
Hamza Aziz
Niero Gonzalez
Robert Summa
Jordan Devore
Andy Dixon
Dale North
Brad Rice
Tom Fronczak
Nick Chester
Chris Morris
Benjamin PerLee
Chad Concelmo
Jon Carnage
Ray VS
Ben Janca
Spencer Hays
Max Scoville
Adam Dork
Jim Sterling

Some of these images will be shared via Kickstater so here is some constraints if you need them:

So yeah, 4:3, at least 1024x768, and 50MB max.

Oh Yeah it would be good if you could get Mr. Dtoid in there too.

Good art takes a while, so I am going to give you two weeks to work on posters and other stuff. So please submit your entries to me via PM or on this blog by April 25th and then I can make another blog where all of the content will be shown and voted on by the community. Clear winner will be able to take 3 keys out of the pot of their choice and the rest will be randomly distributed though:


Though I only have 20-25 keys I thing (some of them are DLC so I won't be giving out pieces of a game, but if there is DLC you want on the list from last week tell me!!!)

So yeah that is the art contest, I am looking forward to submissions!!!

Remember the cut off time will be April 25th at 11:00pm Mountain Time Zone

I hope you are having a great week!!!

First off some music :D

Thanks to a few influential/encouraging/wonderful people I have talked to on C-blogs. (including Hamza) I am going to make a documentary on the staff of Destructoid. Trying to focus on the people behind this awesome community.

Visiting this site for the last nine years, I have indulged in quite the plethora of amazing articles, comments, and threads. Film people are always telling me to write and make movies about "Things you know about." Which being a member of this community for such a long time I would like to think that I would be able to make a piece that can do the site and the community justice.

This documentary is going to mainly consist of in person interview on site or around the area that the staff members lives. (get dat mise en scene perfect)

Asking them questions that will fill in the major gaps in Destructoid's history: The making of Destructoid, the golden years of Destructoid, and the future of Destructoid. From the prospective of the staff members, and in their own words.

Ideally it would be great to spend about a day just to get to know each person and share their life-story and how their experiences at Destructoid set them up later in life.

I have been in pre-production since January, slowly but surely contacting as many staff members as I could get in contact with and ask them if they would want to join in.

So far I have:

Jonathan Holmes
Hamza Aziz
Niero Gonzalez
Robert Summa
Jordan Devore
Andy Dixon
Dale North
Brad Rice
Tom Fronczak
Nick Chester
Chris Morris  
Benjamin PerLee
Chad Concelmo
Jon Carnage
Ray VS
Ben Janca
Spencer Hays
Max Scoville

I am still working to see if I can get more of the women of Destructoid into the Documentary, and there is still a bunch more of the current staff that I still need to ask. (please pm me)

Why am I announcing this now?

First: To bring up some attention. I am not very well known and after talking to my friend it made sense that I need to get the word out.

Second: I need help!!!

I am going to KickStarter for this Documentary, Nireo thought that I could pull 20k on this.  So there is quite a lot of ground work I still need to go through.

Creative Destructoid members, I desperately need your help to pull off this project.

If you are good with: Drawing, 3D animation, Music, and any other style of art I really could use some help.

I already asked Alphadeus to work on a soundtrack, but I would be happy to include any other composers from the community!

As film maker I am not the best a graphic design and I know that if I have any chance to have a successful Kickstarter I need some amazing graphics to get a hold of people's attention. So in efforts to keep this documentary strictly in the community I am going to start a contest soon with give away from the extra Humble Bundle Keys I have yet to redeem:

There has to be something there that someone might want...

I should be able to organize the competition next week. But if you want to go ahead and start getting drawing done I would be more than okay with material already being made.

Whelp that is my big update, I hope that you guys are interested in a video like this :D It should be completed and ready for the 10th year anniversary :)

12:29 AM on 03.14.2015

This is a NVGR blog, though I just though it would have been a good blog about people that cannot get into 100% completion due to frustration. (Sorry this is a rant, probably a sad excuse for a C-blog)

So I have been quite busy, or at least that is what my body is constantly telling me. I recently started up part time work and it has been great getting back into the groove of being part of the work force.

After my three year escapade of being jobless getting back to work has been quite the blessing. However, it has shown me that even though I thought I was done with sleep apnea that regardless of the entire year of being treated with a Constant Air Pressure machine that my body has been irreparably damaged, or at least has not quite recovered from the lack of energy that my genetics have left me in.

I do not know if it is just the fact I am not use to working or if that my recovery is much slower than expected but I have been flat out exhausted after working... to the point I do not want to play video games or watch TV; which is never a good sign. Or at least I do not think it is from the disillusion playing them rather the lack of energy to truly get into them.

Again I had hoped that the last 9 months of daily exercise with the year of treatment had somewhat lessened my condition but I am afraid that my body simply is not recovering as fast as I hoped. Ideally my neurologist told me that if I had lost weight down to the national average that there would be less pressure on my airways at night and during the day. But I have lost about 40 pounds and yet I still notice that my endurance is much less than my co-workers and friends.

Less to say I really would like to be commenting more and sending out more c-blogs on a regular basis, but it is getting really hard to find the energy/motivation to do so. Its not that I am leaving or anything but right now I feel very run down and it is hard to summon the energy to do what I use to do when I was jobless.

Though I think this has opened my mind to the fact that life is nothing but transition peirods. Anyone that does not think so must be in some form of denial.

Lets see... broke up with my GF during Valentine's weekend. We both agreed that we just were not ready to move on to more of a romantic relationship. Which as much as I can see this being a great thing for both of us, I cannot help but have that part of my brain going and saying that the relationship could have worked out and that I am a total idiot for doing what I did. Its not like that I had someone in plan to move onto but I just could tell that the distance and that I just simply lacked the means to continue on.

Literally sold my next to priceless NES collection just to pay for the airplane tickets so I could do it in person.

But I rather had been there cause I have had too many friends completely break off things not in person and she was and is such a wonderful person that I simply could not do that to her. We had been dating for three years and there was a point in time during those years I had considered selling everything I owned to marry her. But again the whole joblessness got in the way, maybe it will work out for the best. But right now I am getting hit right and left about the fact that I am single again.

So right now I am kind of in the dumps emotionally and I probably should not be writing this, but I have been living with the knowledge of my sleep apnea has probably permanently decreased my total life span by a quarter or more. (probably 1/3 to be more precise)

I might actually know what the effects of this machine feels like...

Though this is really just motivation to try harder, and hopefully accomplish more with the time I have left. I have a few really cool projects I am working on: That industrial art video that I still have yet to finish, some local business commercials, and a documentary that I should be announcing soon :D That is very video game related, and very Destructoid related.

So things are not all doom and gloom for me but it sure helped to write this all out. But then again I think that is what this community is for.

I have not forgotten about you!!!

Thanks for reading this :3

- Retro

The adventure of Tank Man


Tank Man


All the blue links are optional, but they are there to enhance your reading enjoyment, open them in a new tab please.




HL3 Confirmed!!!


Some believe that mystic legends where only in the past, that all natural magic in the world had been completely obliterated in the age of technology and science. While, those people are technically correct that as science and technology continue to prove the super natural as simply facts and not myth.

But alas the age of Legends is not over, but the only to the profile of my friends father's Xbox live account prove true that there would be a man that had the strength of a tank.


Chapter 1: Birth (optional music)


Tank Man was like any other human child at birth.

There is not much to say except that his father and mother were intimate and 8-9 months later he was born. And what a day it was, his father was checking the sex of Tank Man and the baby blissfully cried so loud after being confirmed that he was indeed male that the entire world crashed.

Literally the world could not withstand his awesomeness so it fell to pieces and needed to be restarted due to the shier force that Tank Man's baby voice brought.

Once back into the world Tank Man had forcefully restarted a second birth just for good measure.

This time the world was ready and no longer he broke the world with the amazing voice.

So obviously Tank man was commanding and had Sarge hair with the Chopper mustache.

And so the world asked Tank Man what skills we want:

Strengths 10
Perception 5
Endurance 9
Charisma 5
Intelligence 1
Agility 9
Luck 1


Chapter 2 Early life


Tank Man lived a troubled early years, while he wanted to do studies and be like his father he felt that there was simply so much more that he could learn by going out in the world and smashing things.

However  he did enjoy cake and shooting bbs at the roaches.


Chapter 3 the goat (If you have not stopped the music you should :3)


Tank Man did not want to take the GOAT and it took quite the conversation to get him to go to class. However in a last attempt in rebellion he did go to the GOAT wearing nothing but his underwear. However, everyone failed to notice how under-dressed he was and assumed that it was okay.

Tank man did not remember much from the GOAT except that a familiar tune played after he selected his root traits there was tune the universe screamed out.
Now as a man he was ready to move on.


Chapter 4 Father leaves with no warning


So Tank Man wakes up to find that his father is gone and goes on the epic quest of finding his father and returning to his true love Alamanda.

However he did not leave the vault without getting his fist bloody with victory. He wanted to stealth-fully make it out of the vault but due to scripted events... Either that or the creator forgot to sneak at the right moments and completely messed up not running out when the door first opened XD.


Chapter 5 Outcast from paradise


It did not take Tank man long to understand that he had iron fists and max melee skills, so using bullets was useless when it only took 4 hit combo to kill off smaller vermin.

Tank Man has a strong sense of justice, so when he first ran into a small town with a nuclear missile in the middle. He planed on staying there, as he loves living on the edge of death.

Meeting with the town sheriff he knew there was a bad dude in a bar that was so weak he was trying to blow up the town for 250caps. Tank Man did not have to to tell Lucas Simms he simply beat down the evil man and took all of his belongings without a questions.

Just doing what an average American citizen would do:


Cause honestly this town does not have a jail, and screw letting the dude kill Sims for his gun.


Chapter 6 Righteous Quests  (Audio track please switch)


Tank Man got bored of Megaton fast because he was literally too dumb to fix anything and did not have the materials to do anything.

He knew he had to master his skills to do anything and started wondering the waist land.

First of all screw raiders, and thank them.

They sure know how to gang up on a man, but what they did not know is that Tank Man used the simulators and read Karate magazines all of his life and was on the same level of that of Bruce Lee. He never mentioned this to anyone because they surely would have locked him away for being too amazing and dangerous.

So once tank man was surrounded with 5 raider with assault rifles and full view of him, but they were no match for his agility and speed. In less than 3 hits he combo the whole group in less than a minute with 80% of his health left.

He left none a live, if they flee they flee to their death.

None were left alive.




Except that one guy that ran so fast that he died from falling off a cliff.


Chapter 7 (you may stop your audio for now)


Tank Man found his father in the second trip out in the waste land... So he paused the game and reloaded from an earlier state and completely forgot to go back.

Cause seriously forget him...

Instead raided a grocery store, because that is more important.

FOOD, honestly it take quite a lot of it to feed a titan like Tank Man. Even though he is basically a tank and can take 40 rounds of bullets in his gut and keep moving. But food is amazing.

Specifically Blamdco and Cheese, that made Tank Man Happy... and gave him radiation.

It really quite got annoying that raiders kept trying to kill him, which a few punches in the face and the occasional decapitation by punching kept them away.

Ham and Steaks, yum!!!


Chapter 8 poor John


After killing so many raiders and picking up their armor Tank Man needed to make multiple trips, however after quick traveling to the grocery-store again a pack of viscous dogs attacked a NPC in front of him as he was unable to save him in time.

Tank man killed all of the dogs in time and then looked through his things to go tell his family.

There was a key and a audio tape and it was identified that his name was John.

Tank Man mourned John's death and tried to find whatever he was trying to give to his friend in the junk yard but after pending thirty minutes and gave up....

Poor John...


Chapter 9


Tank Man went to gray ditch to kill the freaks of nature, because there could only be one freak of nature... himself.

So he went around and killed all the flaming ants with his fist.

The queen's guards could not stand any chance, but at a high cost because Tank Man became a drug addicted and was suffering all the mighty effect to clear the town of such vermin.


Chapter 10 Valut 108 (change music please)


I do not think I have to point out what a beast Tank Man is but let me digress:

Gary 33: 1 punch
Gary 27: 1 punch

Gary 32: 1 punch

Gary 29: 1 punch

Gary 36: 1 punch

Gary 43: 1 punch

Gary 41: 1 punch

Gary 1: 1 punch

Gary 25: 1 punch






Seriously screw Gary 47........................................................................

It took 2 punches...

Chapter 10 Downtown (change music again please)

By this time Tank Man has leveled a lot, and literally cannot be gunned down by super mutants with mini-guns and rocket launchers.

So he took the opportunity to unite his enemies with the pain of his fist in their face.

At some point I felt sorry for all the mercenaries, raiders, and super mutants because there literally not much they could do to stop Tank Man.

Literally, every foe quaked in their boots cause they could not stand Tank Man.

Man did he stroll...

And make it all the way to Lincoln Memorial to help out the slaves regain their identity?

Nah, he just wanted to kick some slaver @$$.


Chapter 11 Friends and glitches


Tank Man made friends with one of the super mutants and completely respects him.

There was several times where Tank Man just broke the game:

And there was several times the game broke itself... Tank Man was very displeased that he could not play the game for an entire week due to the fact the DRM needed an internet connection to let him use the saves on his computer...

Chapter 12?

Is this really the end? No but there is nothing more to tell right now.

Authors Notes:

It was fun but boy did we over look things back in the day. It seems for everything that goes right in this game there is at least 12 game crashing errors I ran into in the 20 days I was able to play the game... so 60% of the time I had technical difficulties that literally have been there since release...

Maybe I am spoiled in that I use Valve products a lot and they fix up their older games regardless of the fact if people want them fixed.

But most of them fans online had fixes to make it work but in the end it just really confused me on why they could have not taken the week or day it patch the master copy instead of causing people to do so much manual labor... for a game that crashes a lot.

I love this engine, but it will crash at any moment. So I saved a lot and I saved often. Even then there was some times where I had to redo ten minutes of progress and it was not fun.

GFWL... this must be removed from the source code, there is no reason for it to be there.

Oh yeah and I could have played it a week more but my internet went down and apparently your saves get swapped out when the DRM does not get the okay sign... There is an easy fix but honestly it has been too long for the DRM to mean anything.

So as much as I enjoyed this game the lack of support and other stuff really killed it for me. I wished Bethesda will think about actually supporting their games post launch... cause in so many ways this is beyond pathetic. Especially if you wanted to sell me on Fallout 4, this just seems sloppy...

But if you can get past all the technical issues this game has there is a lot of fun to be had!

Thanks for reading!!!

9:23 PM on 02.26.2015

I must apologize if this video is too artistic and somewhat creepy, here is another video if you need to cleanse your ears.

To be honest I was not looking forward to this post. There is simply more than Nine people on the site that I really enjoy. All of these are community members I really liked. I would love to write a whole piece on the amazing staff that works hard to keep this site working, just know I have not forgotten you!!! I just though it would be nice to highlight some people I enjoyed talking with. This list is probably as of recent as I have been on this site for eons and I ahv eme

9) BennyDisco - I feel bad because I was in Ohio the whole time last year... could have bought him a sandwich... or a big mac.

8) Pixelated Cloud - You are following me, which I really appreciate. I hope you are doing well!

7)Hyper Lemon Buster Cannon - I connected with you in our shared likes of Mega Man and the supreme disapointment in Capcom.

6) The Scholarly Gamer - Just a really up beat person that like to have fun and write about video games. Also has an addiction to pre-ordering game XD

5) Luck Required - What can I say? I just had a lot of fun talking with you on the C-blogs! Knew you had to be cool when you created your own encyclopedia for C-bloging, and that God Hand post :D

4) Nanashi - It was really cool seeing you on the blogs and helping encouraging you to continue :)

3) LongJohn - I really do not know what to say? I though you had left when you changed your picture and I was very sad for a month thinking about the cool guy that I had some really meaningful discussions with.

2) Occams - What is there not to say? I think there has not been one topic that you have not discussed on this website and it is wonderful! I really enjoyed your humor and I am very glad that you are the community manager.

1) _______________________________________________________________  - I hate to miss anyone, and I know for sure that there were times where I had hoped that I had made a big enough impact on the community to make it onto other people's lists. That is why I saved the #1 spot for the people I have not listed, because I think this community as a whole is neat.

So please do not take offense that you were not on the list, if you want you can print this out and write your name in, it is intentionally left blank :)