Hello ladies, my name is Sir Cucumber. I'm looking for a redheaded woman who likes puzzles, vegetating, and settling disputes with a game of rock, paper, scissors. No persimmons, please.
I've been blogging for a year with my brother, Doomeru Woebashi, at Resigned Gamer, but no one ever comes to visit us there, so I've come here to beg for your attentions.
If I'm not playing the hot new game of two years ago, I'm probably playing a 6/10 bargain game from one year ago. I do this not because I am cheap, but because I would rather live off gaming's long, shit-encrusted tail than face being "between games." God, nothing sucks more than that.
I like photoshopping screen shots of classic games, and, when feeling saucy, have been known to write the occasional haiku.
Please leave a comment. That way I won't feel so all alone!
Do you like Zelda? Do you like haiku? Then write some Zelda haiku with me!
Here are the rules:
1) the first line should be 5 syllables.
2) the second line should be 7 syllables.
3) the third line should be 5 syllables, AND it should be a complete thought / sentence, apart from the first 2 lines. The first 2 lines can be one long sentence if you want.
Here's what we've got so far:
i may be little
but i contain many hearts
hearts big as texas
have half a heart left
scared to enter the next room
needz mah red potion!
bullying chickens
yields feathered retribution
strength flies in numbers
link works so damn hard
yet the game's named after her?
the sex aint that good
great, now I'm a wolf
must howl in perfect pitch
girl ain't worth this shit
why can't the bitch learn?
you see a pigface you run.
it's just that simple.
tingle we should talk
you can't keep coming around
it scares the children
magic talking boat
please have mercy upon me
let me drown myself
magic talking hat
i think you would love my friend
magic talking boat
slashing at grasses
seeking rupees in the dirt
did you check the couch?
i wield tiny sword
and pointy little green hat
oh so fucking what
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The first one has no title
Also, this is dumb
These feelings are new to me
Trip to therapist
But for some reason, I pass
...It's the vagina
Triforce of Power?
Sounds like a sex move to me
Gay connotation
He likes the elf penises
What more can I say?
Man, was it a major bitch
Poor Link got shrinkage
He was cooler than recess
No one would hit me.
But I am compelled to write
Oops, too many syll.
ables.
Is all I can produce here
Where's my thesaurus?
King 3 V B O
Line one has six syllables
O M G you suck.
:P Just kidding, of course.
i think you would love my friend
magic talking boat"
That one is my favorite. I don't have any of my own.
But sometimes they dont make sense
Refrigerator
Listen! Hey! Listen! Hey! Listen!
Hey! Listen! *Gunshot* *silence*
Keep it safe for worker bees
Help the BBCcode!
Bahamut returns today
Gun under pillow