I'm not entirely sure what maladjusted part of me wanted to purchase a dating simulator, but I'm so very glad I did.

Naturally I chose to play as the female character, knowing that nothing could stop me from becoming the sloppiest ho in town. I shamelessly threw myself at every male that crossed my path, but this approach quickly led to a case of herpes and precipitous drop in Becky's self-respect, resulting in Game Over.

Trying the opposite direction, I moped around the mountain shrugging off all male advances with allusions to broken heartedness and aspirations to rebound avoidance. But, receiving neither support nor pity, Becky was branded a prudish cold fish and retreated further into her sad solitude to contemplate suicide, while I was left to contemplate a Game Over.

Unsure how else to comport my womanly alter ego, it was clear I had to improvise. Fortunately Becky had some tricks in her purse...



I wonder what Dr. Phil would say?



Becky could have let him down easy, but what fun would that have been?



Becky never wanted to be a model anyway...