Hello ladies, my name is Sir Cucumber. I'm looking for a redheaded woman who likes puzzles, vegetating, and settling disputes with a game of rock, paper, scissors. No persimmons, please.

I've been blogging for a year with my brother, Doomeru Woebashi, at Resigned Gamer, but no one ever comes to visit us there, so I've come here to beg for your attentions.

If I'm not playing the hot new game of two years ago, I'm probably playing a 6/10 bargain game from one year ago. I do this not because I am cheap, but because I would rather live off gaming's long, shit-encrusted tail than face being "between games." God, nothing sucks more than that.

I like photoshopping screen shots of classic games, and, when feeling saucy, have been known to write the occasional haiku.

Please leave a comment. That way I won't feel so all alone!