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Community Discussion: Blog by RenegadePanda | I Like Taking It Off, Sticking It In. (NSFW)Destructoid
I Like Taking It Off, Sticking It In. (NSFW) - Destructoid




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About
Oh, you say you like stupid YouTube videos?
I do that sometimes.

'Teaches You Things' Series:

Modurn Warfairz

Grand Auto Thiefman

Jakuzi 3

Who am I? Well, I am many things.

A mentor? A motivator? A free spirit?

None of those things are what I am.

What I am am is just your average guy. Living out my life in relative peace, trying to make a living in this rough and tumble world. An aspiring game designer, you might call me, I wast...erm...spend 2.5 years of my life going to school for said aspiration as well. What will come of this dream? Hell if I know.

But beyond that, I'm your typical gamer. I play a bit of everything, here and there. Anything from shooters to obscure Japanese fare is in my history, I've also been found scrolling through lines of Japanese dialogue, pretending like I can read it. Pretty fun, right?

I'm a 360 guy mainly, it serves as my main platform. I also have a PS3 and a Wii of course, along with several other consoles which I will list below because, well, I feel like it. Listing things passes the time, makes the world go round.

As I said, shooters and action games grab my attention mostly, I do dabble in RPGS (but never seem to finish them) as well as adventure games and the like. I'll play and enjoy just about anything, so long as it isn't an MMO. I have stories about that, but I'll tell you later.

Some of my favorite games of all time?

Jet Set Radio
Shenmue
Phantasy Star Online
Dig Dug
Ouendan
Phoenix Wright
Trauma Center
Taiko No Tatsujin
Metal Gear Solid
Halo Trilogy
Katamari Damacy (+ Sequels)
Time Crisis (+ Sequels)
Mass Effect
Deus Ex
Phantom Crash
Phantom Dust
Ninja Gaiden 1, 2 and 3
Super Mario
Starfox (+ 64)
Goldeneye
Perfect Dark

There are several more, but too many to list here. I own several systems, most of which I don't find the time to play.

Xbox 360 (Modern Warfare 2)
Xbox 360 (Resident Evil 5)
Xbox 360 HD-DVD Drive
PS3 40GB
Wii
Xbox
PS2 Slim
PSX
PSP (Carnival Bright Yellow)
DSi (Black)
Dreamcast
Sega Saturn
GBC (Pokemon)
GBC (Translucent Purple)
GBA SP (Nintendo Classic)
Nintendo 64 (Black, Gold)
Nintendo 64 (Pikachu Edition)
Game Gear
Super NES
NES
Retro Duo
Neo Geo Pocket (Camo)
Neo Geo Pocket Color (Silver)
Colecovision (+ Atari 2600 adapter)

I have a modest collection of games for most of them, I buy more every now and then when money allows, and I'm always looking for more. It's a bit of a hobby, I guess. An expensive one at that. Favorite system would have to be the Dreamcast. Why? I'll write a blog about it someday. Next to that would be my 64.

I own a Power Glove as mandated by Nerd Law.

So if you can't tell by now I'm somewhat of an addict. I usually go out of my way to own or secure unusual or rare looking video game stuff, and sometimes wind up buying things just for the sake of owning them. Why do I have a Japanese Guncon 2? I'm not sure yet.

So there you have it, that's me. I'm a pretty friendly guy, I suppose. I like tacos, anime and long walks on the beach. Just your average person, right?

I like to think so.
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I'm not afraid to say it.  I like taking it off, and sticking it in.  I've been doing it for years, and I'll openly admit that it gives me pleasure in doing so.  Some may consider it inappropriate or old fashioned, but I've always enjoyed it, be it in private or around friends, or sometimes even in public.  Others even call it dirty, dangerous, and say it puts me at risk for accidents, that I'm living on the edge.

When I tell people, they often seem offended, and yet I don't know why.  People have been doing this forever, why is it suddenly becoming unpopular?  Chances are you used to feel the same way I do now, chances are you've done it at least once in the last few years.



You've bought a brand new game, ripped off the plastic, and stuck it into your console of choice.

For me, that's part of the experience.  It's part of what makes gaming special.  Even though I'm 25, I still get a twinge of Christmas morning when I open a new game.  I still feel a crushing disappointment when a game does not include a manual.  I look at every single insert inside the box before I even play the game.  It all brings me back to my childhood, ripping open Nintendo 64 games and violently thrusting them into my system.

Think back to your own.  Did you have that same feeling of euphoria when shoving a virgin cartridge into a gaming deck?  Did you look at the box, the manuals, the posters?  For me, one of the best memories is that of Mario 64, something I'll likely never forget.  Not just the game, but opening it, looking at the manual, and booting it up for the first time and climbing those trees like a boss.



By this point you've probably realized this is another one of those 'Renegade Hates Digital Games lulz' blogs, as well as an excuse to type a series of vaguely sexual puns for no clear reason.  I tricked you into reading it, didn't I?  It's exactly like Metal Gear Solid 2.

A lot of people have called me old fashioned for preferring, or flat out requiring physical media in order to buy a game.  They say it's the future, that the convenience is amazing, the prices are cheaper, yet none of that rings true to me at all.  I'm more than willing to pay more to get physical, because any other way lacks the passion for me.  Sure, I could get my pleasure quicker and cheaper, but where's the love I felt that Christmas morning?

Yes, I just indirectly compared gaming to prostitution.

Think about it, you wouldn't sacrifice passion in your relationship just to have sex all the time woul...okay, no, that's a bad example.

You wouldn't sacrifice quality to get your food quicker and cheaper...fuck, okay, not that one either.

So maybe I don't have a suitable analogy, but that word does have anal in it, which is funny.  It's what you'd expect the study of anuses to be called, right?  Granted if someone was willing to devote their entire life to the study of anuses, you wouldn't want to hang out with them.  Because they'd be a shitty friend. 



Oh, right, the blog...

When it comes right down to it, I guess I just prefer the physical nature of buying a game.  I like unwrapping it.  I like looking at it.  I even like physically putting the cartridge or disc into the machine.  There's just a feeling there that I can't get digitally.  In fact one of my favorite parts about Taiko No Tatsujin Wii is the fact that every single game in the series has a 20+ page, full color manual, inserts; and right down to the disc art, it's all sickeningly adorable.

I guess that's worth as much to me as the game itself.  It's just like a hooker, or something, you pay for the sex, but you want something nice to look at too.  You want the satisfaction of knowing that you didn't just get a game, but all the things that go with the game.

All I know is that if sticking it in is wrong, I don't want to be right.
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