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Oh, you say you like stupid YouTube videos?
I do that sometimes.

'Teaches You Things' Series:

Modurn Warfairz

Grand Auto Thiefman

Jakuzi 3

Who am I? Well, I am many things.

A mentor? A motivator? A free spirit?

None of those things are what I am.

What I am am is just your average guy. Living out my life in relative peace, trying to make a living in this rough and tumble world. An aspiring game designer, you might call me, I wast...erm...spend 2.5 years of my life going to school for said aspiration as well. What will come of this dream? Hell if I know.

But beyond that, I'm your typical gamer. I play a bit of everything, here and there. Anything from shooters to obscure Japanese fare is in my history, I've also been found scrolling through lines of Japanese dialogue, pretending like I can read it. Pretty fun, right?

I'm a 360 guy mainly, it serves as my main platform. I also have a PS3 and a Wii of course, along with several other consoles which I will list below because, well, I feel like it. Listing things passes the time, makes the world go round.

As I said, shooters and action games grab my attention mostly, I do dabble in RPGS (but never seem to finish them) as well as adventure games and the like. I'll play and enjoy just about anything, so long as it isn't an MMO. I have stories about that, but I'll tell you later.

Some of my favorite games of all time?

Jet Set Radio
Shenmue
Phantasy Star Online
Dig Dug
Ouendan
Phoenix Wright
Trauma Center
Taiko No Tatsujin
Metal Gear Solid
Halo Trilogy
Katamari Damacy (+ Sequels)
Time Crisis (+ Sequels)
Mass Effect
Deus Ex
Phantom Crash
Phantom Dust
Ninja Gaiden 1, 2 and 3
Super Mario
Starfox (+ 64)
Goldeneye
Perfect Dark

There are several more, but too many to list here. I own several systems, most of which I don't find the time to play.

Xbox 360 (Modern Warfare 2)
Xbox 360 (Resident Evil 5)
Xbox 360 HD-DVD Drive
PS3 40GB
Wii
Xbox
PS2 Slim
PSX
PSP (Carnival Bright Yellow)
DSi (Black)
Dreamcast
Sega Saturn
GBC (Pokemon)
GBC (Translucent Purple)
GBA SP (Nintendo Classic)
Nintendo 64 (Black, Gold)
Nintendo 64 (Pikachu Edition)
Game Gear
Super NES
NES
Retro Duo
Neo Geo Pocket (Camo)
Neo Geo Pocket Color (Silver)
Colecovision (+ Atari 2600 adapter)

I have a modest collection of games for most of them, I buy more every now and then when money allows, and I'm always looking for more. It's a bit of a hobby, I guess. An expensive one at that. Favorite system would have to be the Dreamcast. Why? I'll write a blog about it someday. Next to that would be my 64.

I own a Power Glove as mandated by Nerd Law.

So if you can't tell by now I'm somewhat of an addict. I usually go out of my way to own or secure unusual or rare looking video game stuff, and sometimes wind up buying things just for the sake of owning them. Why do I have a Japanese Guncon 2? I'm not sure yet.

So there you have it, that's me. I'm a pretty friendly guy, I suppose. I like tacos, anime and long walks on the beach. Just your average person, right?

I like to think so.
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Modurn Warfairz has always been a hit among crazy people who like to shoot other, equally crazy people. But as we all know, first person shooters are dumb and stupid and only played by racist 10 year old kids who stole their parent's credit cards to buy the game. But what if it was never a shooting game at all? What if that brilliant idea had been killed and replaced with one much worse, like that movie about the dream people?

What if they took the premise of saving the world, Russians, and plot holes and turned it into a dance game?



Instead of fighting the enemy with guns alone, the military now turns to the power of dance to defeat the evil brown people and push them back to whatever unpronounceable country they came from. Instead of predator missiles and AC 130's, you now have specialized dance moves designed to brutally serve the enemy into submission. Of course, the enemy will always try to serve back.

Playing as the happy folk of the Modurn Warfairz games, you will dance to the beat and gain points to level up your character and gain new outfits, dance moves and pictures to show everyone how super 1337 good you are at the game. When you reach max level, you can Presscheese, losing your upgrades but adding a special cheese related song each time you do, as well as receiving a gold pair of underpants for your in game character to wear.

You'll face a variety of bad guys, including Makaroni, whom you will have to hone your skills to perfection in order to beat. You can call in backup Delta Dancers for support, or, if you're really good, drop a tactical nuke and win by destroying yourself and everything around you. Once you beat all the bad guys, the world will be saved until the sequel comes out!



And once you've mastered every song, get ready for multiple DLC packs coming soon! Every pack will have 3 themed songs for you to test your Rhythm Warfare skillz to. You can also face other Rhythm Warriors in deadly combat over Xbox Live and use Kinect to automatically capture pictures of your face and/or genitals and upload them directly to your opponents!

The first hardcore-shooter-themed-dance-style-mature-multiplayer Kinect game arrives this summer! Preorder now!
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