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Reisen's blog

6:49 PM on 12.18.2008

My Challenge: An abundance of Gaming

Its that time of the year again. The universities are all but becoming devoid of life as the students return to their Ďrealí homes, the workers are looking forward to a few weeks of time away from their mind-crushing nine-to-five schedules, and the teenagers are finally off school, left to play in their own devices outside on these busy December streets, causing anyone of the right mind to stay in at risk of being beat up and mugged or something in this country. And there I am, indoors, with an Xbox360 and PS3 both hooked up to my fat 32" HDTV sitting in front, the Wii on standby, and a selection of the best from the end of year deluge (read: fuckton) of games right in front of me. And I laugh, at old Mrs. Wetherley, as the group of teens stationed outside my window are having off with her handbag. Or as Dave, the gardener on the other side of the street, continues even in the cold weather his weekly shirtless mowing of the lawn. Oh Dave, even as you pass fifty you never cease to amaze me.

But that laugh turns to a hollow sigh; as the air slowly escapes my lungs, I start to wonder, what am I doing here? Between me and my TV is a void that must be filled, with something. Anything to escape me from this boredom, this feeling of nothing to do. But there is something to do, right in front of me. And as I begin to wonder what brought me to this place, I realise...

There are too many fucking videogames out there now. And I don't want to play any of them.

Its easy to point out that there were a lot of games out at the end of this year. In my opinion, every platform had something big to occupy your time, even the Wii with just the latest Animal Crossing is something Iím looking forward to losing my life to all over again. But all these big releases have come so fast, that I realise I wont have the time for them all, in turn somehow shoving my personality into a corner and made me not want to bother with any of them. Itís a good thing (yes I count this lucky) that many of this holidays releases turned out to be a bit rubbish: Mirrors Edge, Prince of Persia, Sonic Unleashed, I think Iíll pick you up late into the new year when youíre all inevitably a tenner a piece.

This also however, doesnít count the massive backlog of gaming I havenít had the time to do with all the other things going on in my life. I recently scoured all the local game shops for DS gameís Iíd been looking to purchasing for a while, that were at an affordable price. Anything for £10 (thatís cheap for a game in UK money) or less was mine to have. This has left me with a massive pile to get through - some untouched, some barely scratched the surface - and me wondering where the hell to start. Ever hear the saying, ďtoo much of a good thing...Ē well to be honest I canít remember exactly how it ends but Iíll assume it goes something like ďcan only lead to negative consequences.Ē

It makes me so happy, yet so sad.

I think Iíve reached that point where there are so many things to do, that I cant enjoy any of it; it all feels like a chore to me. One finished, throw it off the pile and go onto a new one. Its just a sequence that endlessly repeats itself until the end, when you finally reach the bottom, and wonder what the hell youíre doing with your life.

Sure, there was the sensible, and less money reducing thing to do, which is to begin/buy one game at a time, and donít start/purchase the next. Iím not like that though: like many people, if thereís a new experience out there, Iíll always want to try it out as soon as I can. Itís kind of a curse and a blessing at the same time, but I try to manage it as best as possible.

I think everyone needs some kind of pressure to go with their life. It keeps things interesting, and helps us aspire to relinquish these hurdles which face us as people. Iíve been presented here in this christmas holiday, with a large list of leisure activities and what appears to be no strings attached. Its kinda dull, and funnily enough its actually making me pray for the return of essay deadlines, so hereís my proposition. To justify mentally my playing of all these games, Iím going to write something about every single last fucking one of them, and post it on this site. I donít care whether itís a review of the game, I donít care if I review the genre the game is based on, I donít care whether I do some kind of homo-erotic fanfic where I take all the characters from the game and turn them into a group of cabaret dancers for some kind of mental slave overlord; just as long as I do something with them all, I might actually start enjoying what I play again.

Iím a person who likes to set himself these little challenges in life, just to prove that Iím capable of them. Gaming is usually my reward for finishing them, whatever stressful tasks may engage me - most often today being essay deadlines which have all but dried up - I can usually always kick back with an old videogame and relax. This time though, both ends are a reward in themselves. Writing about my lifeís passion is something Iíve always been interested in, and Destructoid seems like the right atmosphere to start. Each game justifies one written piece, and each written piece justifies one more game.

I guess its time to begin then. And i'll try not to suck.

Wish me luck. I love you all.

Also, cocks.   read

11:58 AM on 12.16.2008

An Introduction: because I can. And suppose I should

Let me tell you a little story about my life...

It goes back to when I was ten years old; an intense time for any small child, as its that period where the top of your mind is filled with worrying about how to be popular within the harsh social environment youíve just come into, the horror that is this foreign concept of ďpuberty,Ē after probably just being scarred by a sex education video where the man spontaneously begins to sport funny hair and talk like a wrestler all in the space of a few seconds - hope you were luckier than I was - and hey, maybe youíve just noticed that girls are more than the disgusting, disease ridden creatures that the playground years before would have you believe. Well, thereís only one way to survive in this scenario and come out on top of everyone else - I had to prove that I had the best videogame console.
It was at my years-behind juniors school on an old cliche summers day, kinda like the ones you get in these childrenís stories where the atmosphere is best for playing outside, making it more appropriate for us to go on an all out war with each other. Myself, and my good friend (or enemy depending on how you see it) Alex were having one of our daily games of Nintendo versus Playstation. I was Link, he was Solid Snake (so long age ratings!) only one of us could win, and that person would be the one to own the superior console. Because thatís how it works when youíre ten.
So the game begins: the hero of time versus some rubbish videogame character from some rubbish game I donít care about. How could I lose! First move, Snake runs behind the main building out of sight, I donít know where heís gone. Suddenly he turns out from the corner and takes random pot shots at me. Easy. I raise my Hylian Shield and block them all. Shield in front, I run towards him with my sword raised, for the killing blow. He gets back behind the wall and I turn the corner, only to see young Snake with his back pressed against it, nowhere to hide. Now its time to finally prove that the Nintendo 64 was better all along, but wait... heís activated his stealth camouflage so I canít see him. It appears thereís nothing I can do. Iíve been foiled..

Ah, but the Hero of Time is much smarter than that. ;)

Within a second, I whip out my trusty Lens of Truth and scan the area. Brilliant. And without a doubt, there he is, back still pressed to the wall this time, he does have nowhere to hide. Iíve won. And thatís where the utterance comes in.

ďNo, you cant, this is a special stealth camouflage that cant be seen by lensesĒ

What the fuck. I mean, what the fuck is that? A special camouflage! Thatís just plain ridiculous! were pretty much my thoughts back then. Everyone knows that the Lens of Truth can see through anything. If it could see that ghost in the desert - who was also dead may I add - it could easily see through some poxy little headband wearing twatís diving costume. Thereís no such fucking thing as a special stealth camouflage! It doesnít exist! Fuck this stupid game. I win.
And thatís my first real memory of fanboyish nerdiness, which still shows to me how passionate I was about games even from a young age. Its also the story of how I single handedly managed to prove that the Nintendo 64 was in fact better than the Playstation all along! but Iíll drop that branch of the tale for now ;)

So hi! Some little bits about me to wrap this up: my real world name is Neil, Iím a British student studying Creative Writing at Staffordshire University, Iíve been videogaming since as long as I can remember, I own all three current-gen consoles, Iíve only finished Ocarina of Time five times, I love retro gaming, Iíve somehow in the last day managed to rip a hole in the crotch of my £6 jeans, thereís a cardboard cutout of the manga Loveless as a permanent fixture in my room, I donít know why, I like Southern Comfort, if I could have one superpower it would be the ability to manipulate the seasons, making trees and stuff sprout beneath my enemies, for some reason Iíve managed to get on the Scientology e-mail list, and an imported copy of Chrono Trigger has just come through my door this morning which Iím yet to play. Best rush off now then.
Iíve been following Destructoid for a while now, only just managing to join it because of a recently freed up schedule (ie: redemption from general laziness) Iíve always looked for a place which advocates exactly what the website stands for, I enjoy its writing, and I like its community, which I hope over the coming while I can get more actively involved in with blogging, and hopefully set this up as my permanent home for my internet based frolicking!
My real-life girlfriend has also just joined this site under the guise of Fallen North. (Iíd cleverly link her blog here using her name as the clicky thing as Iíve seen countless others do, but I have no idea how to do that, being rubbish at computers. Itíd be much appreciated if someone could help here!) Say hi to her, sheís nice and has breasts :)

Hope to se you all sometime later.

This is me posing for a Hugo Boss ad. I look like this all the time.

Also, cocks.   read

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