That's a little misleading. I don't have a tattoo. All that's certain is that I want to get one and this is the one I want to get:



I know what you're thinking. How? Because I'm fucking psychic. This is you: "Gee, Red, That looks cool but--" and then I'm like "What does it all mean? If you shut up for like ten seconds I'll tell you." Then you'd say: "WHOA! How'd you guess what I was gonna say?" and I'd say: "I just told you, fool. I'm fucking PSYCHIC."

But I digress.

August 6th, 1945 was the day the A-bomb was dropped on Hiroshima, Japan (The Japanese kanji represents “Hiroshima”). August 6th, 1991 was my birthday, and the 46th anniversary of the bombing.

“So...”, you say, “What made you want to get this tattoo in the first place?” it started out like this:

Not too long ago, I overheard a conversation where a guy mention that he was born on August 6th, the same day as the Hiroshima bombing. My birthday is on August 6th, too, and it never occurred to me that my birthday and the Hiroshima bombings were synonymous with the same date. I decided then and there that I wanted a tattoo to commemorate the event. After hitting up some websites, I found an artist who cooked up the awesome design that you see above. I loved it so much that I've decided to get it grafted onto my skin.

I've been asked by several people, "Why would you want commemorate such a thing?" I've thought long and hard and I still can't think of answer that would satisfy anyone who asked. In the end, that doesn't matter, anyway. I get that not everyone will understand or approve of this tattoo and that's not important anyway. What's important is that I'm happy with the artwork I'm getting, and I am. I will say this: I'm not getting this tat because I have some sick, unhealthy obsession with war or because I like it when innocents die or whatever stupid explanation people will come up with so that they can justify judging me. When the A-bomb was dropped, the course of history changed forever. Humanity lost its innocents that day, and that day is and always will be remembered as August 6th, the same day as my birthday. It's a irremovable mark that will stick with that date forever, and in a way, since I share that date, it sort of becomes a part of me and I'm just the kind of person to embrace this weird sort of thing.

The tattoo represents a number of things: A memorial for those lost in the explosion, a reminder of mankind's true destructive nature, etc. I'll be turning 18 this year so I hope to get it on my birthday, which will also mark the 64th anniversary of the bombing. Things have a way of working out like that.

For any music group, in any genre of music; There is a constant pressure to adapt to a persistently changing landscape of musical trends and varying preference from the consumers, to innovate and grow (lest the band's sound grow stale) but still retain the key characteristics that made the band popular and prolific in the first place. Failure to comply with any of these unwritten requirements of Rock Stardom may result in an alienation of not only the core fans but of anyone who had even a passing enjoyment of the band's music.

Mastodon takes these tenants in stride. They never go out of their way to make sure that what they've got is fresh and new because it always just happens that way. The Atlanta Quartet's uncanny ability to constantly top themselves with each new album has made them into the consummate media Rock'n'Roll darlings as well as the reigning kings of today's metal scene. Crack The Skye, the band's forth major label release, looks to be another one of the band's signature: a melodic, expertly written prog masterpiece undeniably that is caked in sludge. How does Crack The Sky live up to this pedigree?

While Crack The Skye is unlike any of the other albums by the band, it is still not a complete departure from the band's signature sound. Like the other Mastodon albums, Crack The Skye represents one of the four classic elements. In this case, it pulls double-duty representing both Air/Wind element and the fifth element, starring Bruce Will--I mean, the fifth element, Aether. To fully embody these two elements, Crack The Skye completely uproots itself from the ground and releases itself from any mortal shell; becoming an intangible being of pure energy and scrubbing itself of any dirt or sludge. The album strives to become the quintessence and bond with all things.

With only seven tracks and clocking in at 50 minutes, Crack The Skye seems a bit anemic, to me at least. Crack boasts another Mastodon signature: perfect song arrangement and sequencing. While few in numbers, the seven tracks fit perfectly together and all stand on their own merit. Mastodon knows how to make albums that are mostly killer with very little filler, but Crack stands out for being almost entirely flawless. It's almost like a rock-opera in that more enjoyment can be derived when you listen to album in a single sitting, in chronological order instead of just listening to the songs separately.

Drawing upon themes of wormholes, astral projection, space & time travel and Tsarist Russia, is a trippy, colorful (but never psychedelic) trip through self-awareness and the cosmos. The use of banjos, tambourines, keyboards, and slightly untuned drums help give the album a untethered, drifting sound. The songs all last about 5 minutes with three exceptions: Divinations (3:39) which is as close to a classic Mastodon song as you'll get from Crack The Skye, and The Czar and The Last Baron: two epically long prog masterpieces both clocking in at 10:54 and 13:01 respectively.

Another way Mastodon has branded Crack The Skye as uniquely theirs is how obvious the band's fantastic synergy shines through. Ever member contributes something to each song that makes it memorable. Every song is ambitious and adds a different element to the overall arrangement. A great example of this is on the first track Oblivion, on which drummer/chief creative force Brann Dailor and bassist/vocalist Troy Sanders share vocal duties as a duet. On top of being a God-tier drummer, Dailor also showcases a haunting, other-worldly voice that really has to be heard to be believed, (when you hear him sing the lyrics "I tried to burrow a hole into the ground/breaking all the fingers and nails from my hand", the hair on the back of your neck will stand up) which when contrasted against Sanders' grainy, fierce growl, it really lets the listener know that what they are listening to is unlike anything that has ever been put out before.

And yet, where Crack The Skye succeeds the most is where it ultimately falls short. While in its quest to become one with the aether, Mastodon forgot that in this state they could not be touched by the hands of man. The album is extremely ambitious, so much so that long time fans and newcomers may be turned off by how simply grand it is in scale. It's hard to know where to start with a piece of work like this and the inability to comprehend every complexity of it can be discouraging. Crack The Skye can be beautiful in its design but can be menacing in its elaboration. This is definitely the type of album that needs multiple listens to truly grasp what a monumental effort is.

For now, Mastodon fans can expect to look forward to the next release. As stated before, the band has a talent for constantly topping itself with each release. When even beginning to imagine what a successor to Crack The Skye could be like, the mind boggles.

Hey everyone!

Hope you all had a great St. Patrick's Day. Not many people know the story of St. Patrick's day, who St. Patrick is or the history of the animosity between Irish Catholics and Protestants. Heck, I know there's still a lot I don't understand about the holiday, but here in America, St. Paddy's is a day when we can all take part in the famous Irish spirit and knock back a couple brews.

I just wanted to share with you all a quick bit of music news that has absolutely rocked my world: Most of you don't know who MF DOOM is and quiet frankly, I weep for you. DOOM is the king of Indie Hip-Hop and one of the most amazing rappers in the biz today. It's been about five years since his last solo record (Not counting the live album Live from Planet X), but that's not to say that he hasn't been keeping busy. DOOM has produced a huge body of work, appearing as a guest on many albums and collaborating with other artists such as Ghostface Killah, Danger Mouse and Madlib.

This awesomely left-field news, which has come on the wake of the GTA: Chinatown Wars theme song featuring DOOM himself, is that not only is Metal Fingers dropping a new album this year, it's hitting stores NEXT WEEK. You can only imagine the hip-hopgasm I'm having right now.



I can not stress what awesome news this is. Maybe I would have known about the album earlier if I went to music news sites more often or something, but honestly, I don't care. This is akin to Capcom holding a press conference and saying "We are officially announcing Marvel vs. Capcom 3. In fact, we are announcing that we have finished production on Marvel vs. Capcom 3 and that it'll be on shelves next week." The news is that rad.

Anyways, I'm off this peice. I'm kinda hoping to have the opportunity to write more Video-game related blogs soon. Money's tight, so no promises.

Unless you're like me, a human being leading a shell of a life so devoid happiness, purpose, or consistent human contact that you choose to fill the gaping hole where your soul should be with an unrelenting hatred and abhorance of your fellow man and his creations, or if you are a gorgeous playboy traveling the world having fantastic adventures and bedding beautiful women (both of those possibilites are equally likely), you probably haven't noticed that Nickelodeon, the purveyor of so many of our beloved childhood cartoons such as Invader Zim, Rocko's Modern Life and Ahh! Real Monsters!, is trying to muscle the Disney Channel out of the "stupid annoying teeny-bopper bullshit market". As it stands, when it comes to relevance, Disney has it over on Nick in spades; but when it comes to putting out annoyingly insipid bullshit, Disney ain't got nothin' on Nick.

Spectacular!, a made-for-t.v. snore-fest that aims to steal away the crown from High School Musical for being the Best Movie Musical made entirely out of Cardboard, debuted on airwaves recently and I couldn't have cared less. As a matter of fact, I could've have cared less, but that would have required some work on my behalf. Real apathy happens naturally, but when you take it to the next level, you run the risk of busting a blood vessel. I was completely williing and able to let this movie fly entirely under my radar when I saw this suckfest of a scene while channel surfing:



You're probably hesistant to press play, and I don't blame you. Here's what I'll do for you, I'll set the scene: a group of douchebags at a bowling alley (Because only douchebags go to bowling alleys. Bowling is fucking stupid) when they decide hit up one of the arcade machines, Rock The World; an obvious Rock Band knock-off, for some band quick play. They hit random song, and the song that comes up is one that is supposed to remind the main female character about her ex-boyfriend or whatever, but she sings it anyway. And then the main male character joins her for a duet, and then I guess they fall in love or something. Afterwords, I cut my balls off and threw them away, because I knew I didn't deserve them anymore.

So where do I start with this trainwreck? All this time, I've been assuming that "Rock The World" was a shitty rip-off of the Awesome Rock Band game that we all know and love, but know I'm starting to see that it is more like a chinese bootleg or a poor man's arcade knockoff made by a shitty Korean developer looking to make a quick buck on the Music/Rhythm craze, hoping that if they made a game that at the very least looked and sounded like Rock Band, idiots like the tools in this movie wouldn't know the difference and lose their shit over this retarded clone. In retrospect, that's a brilliant marketing scheme that I wish I had thought of myself.

The cabinet itself makes no sense to me: Why have one guitar, but two mics? Obviously to captilize on the game's duet feature, which the Korean developers over at Faketech had the prescene of mind to implement to really make their game stand out. Nice thinking, guys. And yet, Nikko (The main male character. Nice name, fag.) looks like he just picked up a random mic and started singing along to the song. Look--it's not even plugged in. The game itself looks uglier than Frets on Fire, and you can tell the Guitar chart was made by a dipstick (or a Neversoft employee. HEY-OH!). You'd think they'd be able to at least steal some gameply footage from Rock Band to at least make it look professional.

That reminds me of my other grip with this video. Why rip off Rock Band? And not, "Why would you do such a thing?" but "Why do you have to?" We all know that Nick is owned by The Viacom corporation, who is also the parent company of Rock Band Publisher MTV Games, so it's not like they don't have the rights to put Rock band in their movie. Not to mention that Harmonix released two tracks from the movie's soundtrack as DLC for Rock Band to promote the movie. You'd think they'd be able to return the favor and put Rock Band in their movie instead of this ass-backwards copy cat. Perhaps, the producers realized that putting something awesome (Rock Band) and something Shitty (Spectacular!) in the same space would cause an adverse reaction. The two forces would cancel each other out, causing a vortex of Dark Matter that would destroy everything in its way and kill millions. So if you think of it like that, the producers of Spectacular! had only our safety in minds when they unleashed Rock The World upon the world, truly the lesser of two evils.

and now for SUPER DYNAMIC COOKING TIME!

Special thanks to fellow Dtoider Buster, without whom I would have never found this glorious scene from the upcoming Street Fighter IV anime movie, due to drop the same day as the game in America.

Anyone who has pre-order or who is planning to buy the special Collector's Edition will be recieve the movie as part of the package. I know as soon as I get my copy, I plan on rewinding this part over and over again.

In this fight scene, C.Viper employs a myriad of devastating moves against Cammy, such as a crushing vag punch, finally dispatching the young fighter with a fiery kick to the face (Ryu watches the entire fight unfold, mouth agape and no doubt pitching a tent in his pants). But no move is more excrutiating, more humiliating, or more sexy than C.Viper's patented thunder grope. Watch for it at the 1:03 mark:



Watch in awe (as well as pure ecstasy), as C.Viper sensuously grasps Cammy's Large, tender bosom in her hand--and then zaps the shit out of her. I have to applaud the creative team behind this movie, for making such a universal movie production. Judging by this scene and this scene alone, I can tell that not only can this movie be enjoyed by the avid Street Fighter and Video game fan, but also by any hot-blooded male with an interest in boobies and by electro-shock fetishists.

Bravo, Good sirs. Bravo.

[EDIT: Fixed the embeding]

Hey, Destructoid. How's it going?

So I heard your going to SGC this summer. Pretty sweet. Rey Jiminez is gonna be there? Nice, nice.

Man, I wish I could go, but you know how it is. Money, you know? It's like, I gotta think about college and crap like that. Sucks. And besides, the thing is in July, right? It'll be about another year until I turn 18, so it's not like I can go anywhere until anyway.

This pretty much blows, but what can you do, right? I've got my hands tied on this one I suppose, but you go, Destructoid. You go on and have a good time without me. I'll be fine here. I promise. I'll have Street Fighter IV to keep me company.

But make sure you bring me back something nice, okay?

[EDIT: I just realized that I'm a moron. Why on earth did I say that it would be another year until I turned 18? I turn 18 this year, but not until August, well after SGC has passed]