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3:24 PM on 05.18.2014

I give you the greatest video game movie EVAR.

The time has come that we have found the Citizen Kane of video game movies and it is from the small archipelago in southeast Asia, The Philippines (You know, where the bad monster is from in the new Godzilla movie).

That movie is called DOTA: Nakakabaliw (loosely translates to "Can make you crazy") and going by the trailer, it is about a teenaged boy who gets hooked on DOTA and strays from the path of being a good kid which involves him in poorly scripted fight scenes that make the 1960's Batman TV show look like an MMA fight.

The teen then goes insane judging from how they attempted to make him look like what they think a messy looking homeless person looks like without making him too ugly. Then his friends and family find him and it is revealed that the entire movie is basically an after school special about the dangers of being in a bad independent student film.

Did I mention that the OFFICIAL poster is amazing:

This poster was up alongside Hollywood movies at actual movie theaters.   read

11:15 AM on 01.30.2013


At long last, here it is!!!!   read

6:12 PM on 02.17.2012

You have to wait 30 days for free Super Stardust Delta on the Vita

I know many of you are probably excited with the upcoming official release of the Playstation Vita and like myself, probably jumped all over that sweet new deal with the 3G/Wifi Launch Bundle that came with free 8 gb memory card and a free code for Super Stardust Delta with some free 3G service.

Well, that deal isn't so sweet when you I tell you that not only that you have to sign up with AT&T to get the free 250 mb with their DataConnect pass to get Super Stardust Delta, you also have to wait a whole 30 days to be able to get your free game after activating that DataConnect pass.

Now this is an absolutely ridiculous move one someone's part, to make people wait on one of the launch killer apps on the PS Vita for about a month after spending so much on this new hotness. Now, I'm not whining about FREE STUFF but come on, this is just stupid. This is probably one of those things that are locked within contract between Sony and AT&T, which in the end just makes the consumer suffer even more.

[From - Vita]   read

6:36 PM on 02.13.2012

Sakaguchi pimps out The Last Story in Paris. WHAT?!

A current trend these days in marketing products is using the creative minds behind the product as a spokesperson to sell their products. In a stroke of marketing genius, French retailer FNAC, is using the mug of the master of the Japanese RPG himself, Hironobu Sakaguchi to advertise the upcoming release of The Last Story in one of their branches in Paris, France.

That's not all they're doing, they're also celebrating the upcoming release of The Last Story on the 24th of February with an autograph session with Sakaguchi himself. This is really how you need to market to your audience these days, using a a recognizable and respectable figure like Sakaguchi to advertise your product instead of some actor who has no clue about that the hell they're selling.

[Via GoNintedo and Hironobu Sakaguchi's Facebook]   read

7:57 PM on 01.31.2012

Shortblog: Did they just put Doctor Who in my Final Fantasy XIII-2?

Final Fantasy XIII-2 came out today in USA and as one of those people who liked FFXIII, I thought I might want to check it out. I would've bought it but I am saving up for the PS Vita next month so I went to a Redbox instead to rent it a couple of bucks to see if good old Square Enix actually listened to their fans. They pretty much did.

So I fire the game up, see all the pretty action-y stuff in the beginning that made no sense at all and then get to the part where they actually show Serah and I hear a tune that sounds very familiar:

Now listen to the background music for a bit and skip to the 4:00 mark and listen a bit more.
HERE. I totally forgot how to embed videos on the C-blogs. Apologies.

If you're a Doctor Who fan like myself, that might sound a bit familiar and to me, it sounds a lot like this song "Onwards" from the 5th season of the new Doctor Who series:

Doctor Who - Onwards

Now I'm not versed in music but these songs have similarities to them and I can't really articulate as to which parts are the same. Could it be a possible reference since Doctor Who and FFXIII-2 have time travel elements? Will there be Daleks in Final Fantasy XIII-2? Gosh, I hope so. If you'll excuse me, I'm off to play some more FFXIII-2.   read

5:00 PM on 10.26.2011

Battlefield 3 hands-on: Yes, the Beta was terrible but not the final product.

Yes, that Battlefield 3 Beta was bad. For some, very bad. I know a lot of you were skeptical about the finished product because of that terrible (but still pretty) beta that had a load of issues. DICE and EA really messed up when they forgot to slap some really obvious disclaimers on the beta telling people that this was A BETA AND NOT REPRESENTATIVE OF FINAL PRODUCT.

A lot of people on the internet got pissed at how this BETA was terrible and thought it was a demo. So here am I to give an informed view on the game and so this is what this quick and short blog post is all about. I got the PS3 version on launch and played a few hours of BF3 multiplayer and some singleplayer.

These are my observations:

-Install doesnít take very long. Its like 7-10 minutes on my 5200 rpm HDD. Nothing like the longass MGS4 install but at least that had DAT MUSTACHE.

-They fixed the Squad system. Yes, you can now manage squads efficiently. You can invite people to your squad, join squads, form squads, see other squads on a list, and select to join other squads.

-Battlelog is COMPLETELY OPTIONAL for the consoles. Itís a supplement to BF3 multiplayer experience. Itís a multiplatform online stat tracking social network site that you can connect to with your EA/Origin account.


-The PS3 version has a server browser BUT YOU CANNOT MAKE YOUR OWN ROOMS OR PRIVATE GAMES.

-Kit/Loadout menu works really well, once you get used to it. This is one feature that was kind of weird for me after playing dozens of hours of Bad Company 2. You can really get in-depth customization while in the game, which is rather important for these FPS multiplayer games.

-You can switch your VOIP voice chat between Squad and team. It defaults to squad chat but you can toggle it when you hit the start button.

-Default faction specific weaponry is still kind of confusing. If youíre on the Russian side (or any OpFor faction), you start with the iconic AK-74; while on the US side, you start off with the M16 variant which I forgot. You unlock sights and other add-on as you use these weapons.

Itíll be a while until you unlock some since you switch sides every game which switches your starting weapons between the US and OpFor. They donít spell it out for you and it is irritating not being able to use that sight or foregrip you just unlocked because its on another gun that you wonít be ableto use until the next game.

-Servers are holding up. I didnít experience lag save for a couple of times. Servers were full a few hours after launch midnight but I had almost no problem in finding a game.

So thisíll be my go-to multiplayer shooter for a while. At least until Starhawk hits.   read

6:27 PM on 10.07.2010

Thank you, Elsa and Mongoose!

Elsa and Mongoose, my favorite people from the great white internet north, sent me a package of some random swag from PAX Prime 2010. I play a lot of MAG on the PS3 with them, which you should totally join us for almost every night.

I have a thing for random nerd swag and even I didn't make it to PAX this year, this is the next best thing to being there. Thank you so much guys!


5:30 PM on 09.28.2010

September 28. Daylight. NEVAR FORGET

So yeah, today's September 28. Anybody still remember that date? It was from a time when Japanese game development reigned king over all. So that day when everything turned to shit in Raccoon city is exactly 12 years ago.

I'm trying to get over some food poisoning so I apologize for the quality of this post. So let us celebrate in the laziest way I can: By throwing together some terrible videos from the internet that are related to that date. Enjoy.

Seriously, who didn't fap to this back in the day?



Some random video with Resident Evil 3 opening with some german song edited on top of it.

Resident Evil 2 with Linkin Park's song "In The End".

Even though Albert Wesker wasn't in those games HE MUST NOT BE FORGOTTEN SINCE HE IS THE BEST CHARACTER IN THE GAME. So here's a tribute video of Wesker with some Wesker insanity.
[embed]185113:33624[/embed]   read

12:30 PM on 03.12.2010

Why Yakuza 3 is blatantly better than Final Fantasy XIII!

[As originally posted on]

This coming week, one of the most anticipated Japanese Role-Playing Games will be released in the west, and that game is Final Fantasy XIII. I'm sure many of you out there are going to get this latest installment of a beloved franchise but did you also know that another JRPG is also coming out this week? That game is Yakuza 3, from the wildly popular Yakuza series in Japan.

I've only recently discovered the Yakuza series and the games amazingly blend traditional JRPG elements with an action brawler set in a modern day Japan. The Yakuza games put you in the role of Kazuma Kiriyu, a badass Yakuza who is nowhere near like the usual brooding, effeminate trap that have become the staple in many JRPGs.

The Yakuza games haven't enjoyed the same success in the west than it did in Japan. Many would say that Yakuza 3 is being sent to die to be released alongside one of the most anticipated games in the last decade. So I'm here to prove to you how Yakuza 3 blatantly better than Final Fantasy XIII.

Hit the jump to find out why Yakuza 3 is the new JRPG hotness!

1.) Yakuza 3 has characters that look more realistic than Final Fantasy XIII

If you've seen the characters of Final Fantasy XIII, you're probably impressed (or horrified) by the really pretty character designs. In fact, they're TOO pretty--- pretty unreal if you ask me. This is one major flaw of Final Fantasy XIII, I mean how can real people like us real relate to such well-designed, pretty characters? People in real life are ugly, while beautiful people only exist in magazines and in the movies. Do you know the psychological damage that Final Fantasy XIII can bring upon impressionable children?

Square Enix is bombarding us with more images of attractive and slim characters that can never exist. Yakuza 3 dares to give us characters that look like real people, who are ugly just like you and me. Sega wants us to see real beauty in Yakuza 3, beauty that is inside. Yakuza 3 is beautiful. No matter what they say. Words can't bring it down.

2.) Yakuza 3 has dragons on the box art, Final Fantasy XIII has an exposed inner thigh

Yakuza 3 surpasses Final Fantasy XIII by having TWO DRAGONS ON THE COVER with the game's main character, Kazuma Kiriyu, who is known as the "Dragon of Dojima" and and along with the cool dragon art.

While Final Fantasy XIII has NO DRAGONS ON THE BOX ART but has a very suggestive cover that features the female character Lightning showing off her inner thigh. I find this blatant attempt on selling sexually suggestive imagery to be very demeaning to women and Square Enix should be ashamed.

Dragons are awesome.

3.) Final Fantasy XIII will only lead to terrible cosplay at anime conventions

If youíve ever been to an anime convention, youíve probably seen people dressing up as their favorite fictional characters. I wouldn't be lying if I said that a lot of them look terrible. Final Fantasy XIII will only bring a massive tidal wave of even more desperate attempts at cosplay.

Square Enix also brought us the Kingdom Hearts series, which has spawned countless Sora cosplays done by fat women who populate anime conventions. Final Fantasy XIII will only make that problem worse with girls who should not be wearing midriffs and who think they're cute by acting like annoying Japanese girls.

By the way, I am fat and I also like Jim Sterling and he is fat too so I can say the F-word just like how black people can say that N-word so its all good, son.

4.) Yakuza 3 is a PS3 exclusive and the PS3 is a superior console to the X-Box 360 because the PS3 can fix itself

If you've been on the internet lately, you've probably read about the recent 'ApocalyPS3' incident with the PS3 and how a majority of older PS3 consoles stopped working due to a calendar problem. Unlike the X-Box 360 and its famous "Red Rings of Death" or RROD, which Final Fantasy XIII is also on, the problem that the PS3 faced sorted itself out.Yakuza 3 is a PS3 exclusive and has no risk of getting that annoying RROD and ruining your gaming experience.

5.) Buying Yakuza 3 will allow you to afford a Subway footlong sandwich
Times are tough now as it is, and Sega knows that. That's why Sega's lowered the price of Yakuza 3 to $54.99, thereby saving you $5 and ensuring that you are able to be able to take advantage of Subway's Five dollar foot longs. I applaud Sega for their concern for the health and well-being of their customers.

Square Enix, a multi-bajillion yen company with very profitable video game franchises, is not following the amazing example that Sega has set and is still selling their game for $59.99. How will the people who buy Final Fantasy XIII survive long enough to see the ending without the sustenance of a Subway sandwich? HOW, SQUARE ENIX? HOW?!

6.) Final Fantasy XIII characters are wearing clothing with too many zippers and belts

Zippers are dangerous and pose a health hazard to the general public. I used to know a guy (who is totally not me), who once got his member caught in his pants zipper and he cried like a baby. Maybe that's why most Tetsuya Nomura-designed characters are cranky, brooding jerkwads all because they get their things caught in those zipper-infested clothes all the time.

7.) Yakuza 3 has a demo available to everyone, Final Fantasy XIII DOES NOT

Sixty dollars is a huge investment in these tough economic times but so is your time. It would only make sense to be able to try something that's worth twelve subway foot-long sandwiches that can feed you for weeks. So where is the demo for Final Fantasy XIII? It has been almost five years since we first laid eyes on the Final Fantasy XIII trailer and you ask us to wait a few weeks to be able to play your game?What is up with that? I'm not spending $80 on a pretty looking CG movie just so I can try out your awesome new game.

What do you want me to do to? You want me to go to San Francisco and find a bus with heavily tinted windows that drives around promising video games to children?Why can't I just sit back and relax at home and play a thin slice of your game, Square Enix?

What are you trying to hide, Square Enix? Is it the fact that...

8.) Final Fantasy XIII rips off Michael Bay's Transformers

Final Fantasy XIII continues to be awful by copying something else that is awful. In a desperate attempt to be hip and trendy with the kids, Square Enix looked for inspiration in one of the most profitable and horrible movie franchises in the last few years--- Michael Bay's Transformers.

Final Fantasy XIII's Summons, mystical beings that aid your characters in battle, are now able to "transform" into vehicles that fight enemies and cause massive explosions as shown in the video above. Final Fantasy XIII further rips off Michael Bay's Transformers by having an annoying teenage boy and massive explosions happening every 2.5 seconds in every battle.

9.) Square Enix made Dirge of Cerberus

The same people responsible for the giving you the game that was Dirge of Cerberus: Final Fantasy VII are also responsible for Final Fantasy XIII. Using logic, one could come to the realization that Final Fantasy XIII shares about half of its name with the atrocious Dirge of Cerberus: Final Fantasy VII which means that Final Fantasy XIII will be HALF AS BAD as Dirge of Cerberus.

How can we ever trust Square Enix again with their flashy new game Final Fantasy XIII? Unlike Sega who is... wait, what? What's this about the Sonic games? Oh wait.   read

8:32 AM on 07.23.2009

Blatant Shameless Plug Shortblog post: Halo Animu edition

So yeah, there's a Halo anime shorts to be made. It might seem just another attempt to milk a franchise but this could also be seen as way to introduce Halo to Japanese audiences or those annoying weeaboo fucks.

If that is one of their nefarious goals, well they should take a gander about my proposal from 3 years ago. That's right, I called this shit back in 2006:


11:51 PM on 03.16.2009

A Happy Birthday to Destructoid/Niero!!!

Meanwhile, over at Japanator (two days ago)..

Happy Birthday to Destructoid and it's founder, Yanier Gonzalez! I've been planning something big in past two months to show my gratitude to Destructoid with something really awesome but I've been really sick lately and the link above is the best I can provide for now. Fuck Crippling Hay Fever.

If you don't know what I'm talking about, I've cosplayed as Mr Destructoid a lot of times before under the name "Desutoid", wanting to pimp out how an amazing gaming site Destructoid is, for the people who write here and those that follow it. I'm currently cooking up something and may be out for time for Anime Matsuri where Desutoid premiered about a year ago.

I sound like Im blathering on about something vague right now. It's the allergy/decongestant im on right now. I hope my grammar and spelling don't suck right now.

I love you Destructoid like you love us all!   read

9:57 AM on 02.12.2009






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