Hi! My name is Jack klassen! I'm a completely ordinary teenage boy from San Diego, California. My interests include soccer, surfing, writing poetry, and luge. I am homeschooled by my father who fought in the Korean War and was exposed to nerve gas. He is kind of crazy but I still love him. We got the Internet two years ago and I started making new friends on Yahoo! messenger. Surprisingly, most of these new friends were older men who wanted to have illegal, underage sex with me. Needless to say, I got a boner like a rocketship and cybersex quickly became my favorite thing in the entire world. Wait, did I say boner like a rocketship? I meant my vagina got as wet as Lake Titicaca. I started saving all of the hot chat sessions I was having with the Pakistanis, lesbians, child molesters and other monsters who were instant messaging me all day and all night, and I decided to put them up here on this website so you can see exactly how disgusting the entire human race is. Since then, I have been in a waterskiing accident that mangled my genitals beyond repair, been diagnosed with cerebral palsy, brain cancer, and Crohn's disease, learned to speak Urdu and French, covered my naked body in superglue, went to French lesbian camp, made a Hindu eat a roast beef sandwich out of my vagina, and ruined perfectly good cybersex for at least one hundred people. Use the menu above to find out more about me and start reading my sexy adventures,


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Hey
Well I am learned three things on destructoid and that’s if you fuck up people are going to tear you apart I also learned that Bad grammar Does not go well with the community and the last one is I have to stop making critical choices at late at night
I figured out that every time I did something terrible or stupid it was late at night around 2
So please Cut me some slack I am tired and stupid
Also there is no point in constantly making accounts and switching to start again
You know I am wiisucks but I don’t really dislike the wii at all infact I have a wii and I love it to death.
And yes my grammar is terrible in fact I am the worst one at it in the world I am sorry for that but please just be polite and nice about understand that I am only 14 and grammar is the last of my priorities.
And I also want to ask you guys to stop wishing death onto me I am a really nice guy but I am as dumb as a stump when it comes to writing community blog posts.
Look I really just want to start over again for the third time and not be hated, honest to god I really don’t enjoy.
Anyway thanks for reading