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10:54 PM on 02.10.2013

Rad Show: Epic Battle 2/10/13



John Rambo vs. John Matrix

Muscle vs. Muscle, funny ways of talking (sure we know Arnie is from overseas, what’s Sly’s excuse?), and more guns than…well, let’s just say it’s a lot of guns. These guys both have a hankering for an ass whooping, and for the first time in both of their careers, they might finally have a match. Now, if we can just understand what the hell they’re trying to say.

John Rambo is a Green Beret and Vietnam War veteran struggling to make it in the regular world. He’s trained in survival techniques, weaponry, hand to hand combat, guerrilla warfare, and blowing shit up. Rambo, a name “inspired by force” has killed a lot of dudes. 1 (on purpose) in First Blood, 69 in Rambo II and 132 in Rambo III. In his latest trip to the theater, Rambo takes out over 236 people. Grand total of 438. How’d he manage to kill so many people? Let’s just say there was a lot of gunfire and explosions.

John Matrix claims that he eats Green Berets for breakfast. And is retired from whatever Armed Forces division he was a part of. Well trained in the use of heavy weaponry, including a M202A1 Flash, a four barrelled rocket launcher. Matrix is equally adept at hand to hand fighting and killing assholes. Commando being the only appearance by John Matrix, he didn’t waste anytime racking up the body count. Death total: 146; with 138 of those people dieing within a 4 minute time frame. Don’t mess with a man’s daughter.

The fight of the century perhaps, Rambo vs. Matrix is gonna be a ball buster. We’ve allowed both men their choice of weapons, and placed them in the middle of a huge jungle. We’ll have to wait out here for the results, because, well, none of us want to die. BOOM!…….. Okay folks, apparently the entire jungle just blown up. We can only assume that the two have killed each other. Sure, it may seem like the easy way out of finding a winner in this fight. But, do you honestly want to stick around if one of them is still alive and pissed off?

Check in Next Sunday for the Battle on WWE 13' to decide who is the winner of this Epic Battle on the Super Fantastic Video Game Rad Show: Get There! on Dtoid.tv

If you missed Rad Show this week, you can check it out http://www.twitch.tv/destructoid/b/366189892   read


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