Why do I buy bad games?

This is a question I often find bouncing around my head from time to time. And considering that yesterday, on a whim, I went out to my local Gamestop and bought...wait for it...ready...Musashi: Samurai Legend. It was $4.99. No, you're right. I apologize. That doesn't make it right.


His hair acts a third sword that dices enemies into 2X2 cubes of gooey flesh. If only.

Now, going into this little admission, I knew perfectly well beforehand that Musashi: Samurai Legend was not a great game. Heck, not even a good game. Reviews referred to it as bland and slow, short and linear, ugly and uninspired. And they were right on all marks. The thing is...I absolutely loved Brave Fencer Musashi on the original Playstation. It was one of those games that I played with ferocity, aiming to find every lost villager, collect every action figure, and learn all the enemy abilities (even the stupid ones no one used). That game was fun and punny, with a day-to-night cycle and a neat set of locations. Sadly, somewhere along the lines I traded in a bunch of my PS1 games, and Brave Fencer Musashi was one of them. How I regret that decision. Also gone were Metal Gear Solid, Jumping Flash!, and Trap Gunner (a lonely game, but fun with two people and some drinks).

Yup, I was an idiot.

Since then, I've been unable to find a used copy of Brave Fencer Musashi in stores. So, seeing this somewhat sequel, I felt nearly compelled to buy it. Would it fill that void in my heart devoted to Allucaneet Kingdom and Princess Fillet? Would my love for the Five Swords be sated? Would I, for $4.99, finally have what I've been looking for for so long?

Um, no.

For one thing, the game is horribly ugly. It takes cel-shading and mutates into something people are calling manga-shading, which puts this thick colored outline around characters. The rest of the environments are colored in light blues and yellows, giving the world an ethereal fell to it, as well as that of being washed out. I dunno. It kind of looks...ridiculous. See:


The brown outline looks like Musashi has a chinstrap beard. Not bad for a "kid" hero.

Another thing greatly disappointing about Musashi: Samurai Legend is the humor. It's gone. Oh sure, there's this mild attempt to poke fun at things like rescuing princesses and being destined for greatness, but it all falls horribly flat. This is because the game actually thinks it is a serious piece of adventuring. It's not. You have an old cat that can barely speak and is missing an eye as your counselor. He is no Yoda, try as though he might.

So I guess in this case the answer to my previously posed question is: out of hope. I hoped this would have done it for me, that this would have reminded me enough about the good times I had with Brave Fencer Musashi, but alas, it has only made me miss it more.

Ultimately, I should've gone to Quiznos and got a sandwich instead.