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6:25 PM on 02.27.2008

Resident Evil (PS1) Chris Knife Run (w/commentary) Part 4


At long last, part four has arrived!   read

3:10 PM on 02.12.2008

Resident Evil (PS1) Chris Knife Run (w/commentary) Part 3


Good God, part three is here!   read

5:59 PM on 02.10.2008

Resident Evil (PS1) Chris Knife Run (w/commentary) Part Two

Part one can be found here.

Sure, I know what happens, but the more I watch, the more I realize how epic this is! The suspense kills me!


I made people laugh, therefore, this continues.   read

6:23 AM on 02.10.2008

Games that need a sequel: Rock Band

Let's face it: This whole "Rock Band is a platform" is the biggest lie in the world. I have no doubt we'll be seeing Rock Band 2 in November of this year. However, Rock Band is awesome, so why does it need a sequel?

Well, I'll tell you why. Rock Band is awesome, yes, but it's not quite there yet. If Harmonix wants it to become a "platform" for music, they need to make at least one more game and add more features. I have compiled a list of what Rock Band 2 could do to be the ultimate rocking experience and perhaps the last game Harmonix ever needs to make.

Backup Vocals

If you look me in the eye and tell me you don't scream "WANTED" while playing Bon Jovi, you're either lying or a mad man. Mad man! So, why not get a score bonus for it? If everyone is wearing an Xbox Live headset, they can sing during the chorus and get a score bonus (like the ending bonus or the unison bonus). Perhaps it would give you a slight overdrive bonus and help maximize your score. Everyone like the big rock endings, and I think this would make it even more fun.

Optional Keyboard Support

Everyone wants keyboard support. Everyone. You want to play "The Final Countdown," right? That's an awesome song. But why, Randy, do you want it optional? Well, my disembodied friend, I will tell you. There are a lot of songs that I would want to see in Rock Band that do not have keyboard in it. I don't want a game made for all instruments if they are going to make the entire list have some keyboard in it. I just don't want it. It'd be cool as an extra if you have an unwanted fifth person in the group, but I don't want to see absence of AC/DC because we have to make the keyboarders happy! They can die before they leave out AC/DC!

Rhythm Guitar

I fight back tears when I play "Detroit Rock City" and when I get to possibly the greatest solo and guitar harmony in history is played by only one person. How awesome would it be if that solo was done by two people? I can name tons of other songs ("One") that would benefit from rhythm guitar. Also, is that really how you spell rhythm? I looked it up, and that's what it said. That's crazy.

Online Band World Tour

I refuse to accept that this is the last Rock Band until this feature is implemented. I thought it was unacceptable, but... well, it is. I want it. We all want it. Make it happen.

Hearable Singer during Online Play

Another self-explanatory and much wanted feature. Moving on.

Rock Bong songs playable in Rock Band 2

If I've spent a zillion dollars on downloadable content, I want to play it in my new game. Will this happen? If not, I will slaughter a small child. I probably shouldn't say that on the internet. "Slaughter" is slang for "lure into my car with candy." So don't worry.

And the number one new feature...


Seriously, come on. There is so much untapped music out there, so when you bring three songs a week and most of the time it's a pack of the same freakin' band, how are we going to play it? Put some more people on the team and make it happen.

These simple things can make Rock Band 2 the God of music games. Are there any features I left out that you would like to see? Let's hear it! MAKE YOUR VOICE HEARD MY FRIENDS!   read

10:24 AM on 02.07.2008

Resident Evil (PS1) Chris Knife Run (w/commentary) Part One

I got bored and decided to do a knife run of the original Resident Evil. I was recording myself talk while I was playing, so obviously I had to talk more often to make it interesting.


Yes, I was very bored. Yes, I have a stuffy nose.

EDIT: Someone tell me how to put videos into my blog.   read

10:05 AM on 02.05.2008

The Rock Band bass pedal could potentially kill someone

You may be asking yourself "How can a little piece of plastic kill someone?" Well, my friends, join me in a tale of PFJASODIJADFLKJASJDFOI STUPID PEDAL DIE DIE SALDFKJALGKVDAOGI DIE

I'm playing Rock Band with my taped up bass pedal. I figured it would at least last until my replacement gets here. I'm playing "...and Justice for All" on expert and half way through the song, a little piece breaks off. I'm not aware of it at first, but the whole time I'm doing serious bass drum kicks, the hard piece of plastic is carving into my bare foot. Through the power of rock, I felt no pain at the time. I kept playing until the thing snapped completely in half altogether.

My foot pedal is in two complete seperate pieces. The duct tape is the only thing holding the pedal onto the base. Meanwhile, my foot is bleeding. I could die now. Yep, I feel it. I'm dying.

I removed the blood-soaked duct tape to reveal that my pedal is also broken in another spot. This thing is in three pieces. Bull.

What the blue balls were they thinking when they made it out of thin plastic?

Could someone swear a bunch for me? I don't swear, but this deserves some profanity.

Also, if I'm not killed from blood loss (I'm getting weak...) then the part two of my Game of the Year post will be written. Just ignore my previous emo post and the fact that it's February of '08 now and just enjoy what I write you ungrateful pieces of poop.

Oh God... Must... stop... the bleeding...   read

4:55 PM on 01.14.2008

2007 Games of the Year ExtRANDYganza! Part One

Every year, hundreds of websites, TV shows, and magazines do their "Best of Year" around the December - January timeframe. However, today marks the beginning of an era. Today marks the day that history BEGINS! IT'S RANDY'S FIRST EVER BEST OF YEAR BLOG! IT'S THE 2007 GAMES OF THE YEAR EXTrandyGANZA!

Let's get it on!

Best Sound Design

The nominees:


Oh, sure. You thought I was obligated to say Call of Duty 4, right? After all, it really does sound like you're in a war. It really sounds like you're shooting guns and throw grenades and blah blah yeah yeah. It's all been done before! Sure, it's amazing. You know what else is amazing? The sound of your blade coming crashing down into someone's neck and then ripping it out and clanging with another's sword. It sounds so incredible. The sound of steel on steel and, more importantly, steel on flesh could not be better. I don't know how they did it without actually stabbing some guy, but hey, it sounds awesome, and that's why it's my pick for best sound design.

Best Original Soundtrack

The nominees:


This soundtrack is rocking! Once I finally learned the tunes, I couldn't stop humming them. This game made me leave my PSP on while sitting on the sink in my bathroom so I could listen to the music while taking a dump. No game has made me do that since Golden Sun: The Lost Age. Oh baby, oh baby, best original soundtrack goes to this baby!

Best Licensed Soundtrack

The nominees:


"I can't remember anything. Can't tell if this is true or a dream." Metallica's "One" would be enough to win this award, but Iron Maiden, Disturbed, Guns 'n' Roses, and the list goes on. This is just a sexy pile of orgasmic metal wrapped in amazing chocolate. Does it make sense? No, but it's enough to win best licensed soundtrack. "Left me with a life in Hell!"

Best Potential Sequel

The nominees:


The whole time playing this, the only thing I could think of was "Man... this game would be amazing if it wasn't so friggin' boring." If they take this premise of tapping into memories, use this combat system, continue the story and add new things to do, we're looking at Game of the Year for Assassin's Creed II. However, since we apparently can't pickpocket and interrogate enough times, the first Assassin's Creed will have to settle for best potential sequel.

Best New Gameplay Mechanic

The nominees:

(Portal Gun)


(Portal Gun)

HOLY MONKEY POO was this hard to decide between Portal and Mario. I had to decide this: "What would be better in another game?" Considering no one could ever TOUCH Mario's level design, I don't think gravity effing would be a good idea. I'm sure some other game company could use the Portal Gun well, though, so that's why it wins best new game mechanic. Mario... use gravity again please.

Best Writing

The nominees:


The cake is a lie, duh! I almost peed myself laughing at this friggin' game. It was so funny and so well done... I just couldn't believe it. All the nominees were good, but this just blew my mind. Remember the time where Portal won best writing for 2007? That was great...

Best Story

The nominees:

series (Orange Box)


This was really hard. As I was playing Bioshock, I was thinking "This world is awesome, and I love how the story isn't shoved down your throat." Same thing for Half-Life 2. Assassin's Creed just has a stellar premise. Mass Effect is... yeah. I really had a hard time deciding between the first three, but it all came down to how cool the world in Bioshock was. If only you weren't invincible in the game. Yeah.

The Game That Most Surprised Randy (In a good way)

The nominees:

(for me liking a game in the Halo series)
(for the premise)
(for the world)
(for the awesome)


(for the awesome)

I thought Portal was going to slurp donkey noodles through a straw. And not a big straw you get at fast food places. One of those little ones you get with coffee. I think those are straws, anyway. First of all, the game had platforming elements. That gets my attention. Second, it has puzzle solving, which I also love. Third, it was innovative with the Portal gun. Fourth, freakin' hysterically funny. Well, anyway, it proved me wrong... and I'm not always wrong.

The Game That Most Surprised Randy (In a bad way)

(for the breakable peripherals)
(for the boring)
(for the easy)
(no cake [ran out of nominee ideas])


(for the boring)

Altair, you must pickpocket and randomly punch civilians sixteen times before we can bestow upon you your former rank. I really wanted to like it. The combat, the premise, and the free-run was all fine and dandy, but it was just so very boring. So boring. So surprising boring.

Part two coming soon!   read

9:54 PM on 12.28.2007

You have once again entered... the Randy Zone

Have you guys ever heard of the show The Twilight Zone? Well, I have. I just got done watching a few episodes when I was visiting with my dad for our Christmas together. He got the whole series on DVD for his present from his wife. When I got to his house, the credits were rolling from an episode of it and I got excited. Then, I sat down on his couch and we watched Twilight Zone while we waited for dinner.

Why does this warrant a blog post? Because every time I watch the show, it reminds me of how completely unoriginal and untalented writers are in this day and age. With a few exceptions (Lost, Prison Break, Heroes, a few others), TV and movies have either sucked big time or are adaptations of something else. Whether it be a remake, a sequel, or a book/game adaptation, you don't seem to see any fresh content around the movie and television mediums anymore.

When I was watching the Twilight Zone, I was engrossed into the story and wanted to know what happened next, why it was happening, and how it was going to happen. I was completely interested and pumped for what would happen next. Why is this?

Well, I think it's because that movies and TV shows are all about the special effects and cliffhangers today. When it comes to TV, you get an episode that's filled with effects and then a big spankin' cliffhanger at the end. Sure, it gets you to watch the next episode, but what happened when you wanted to watch the next episode because it was good? It seems like every show has to have a cliffhanger to keep people interested, even the ones I mentioned. Actually, especially the ones I mentioned. They throw question after question down your throat and they never answer them. Oh, what was the deal with that guy? What's that thing's story? Did those two have a past? No one knows, because they're saving it for the very last episode of the series because you keep watching and praying that they tell you something.

The Twilight Zone didn't have any of that crap. No cliffhangers. No special effects. No unanswered questions (well, okay, they left your imagination do the work on some episodes). All it was was 40-some minutes of pure, grade-A storytelling, and I love every minute of it.

Will TV/Movies become original again? Will they keep throwing cliffhangers at us? Who knows. What I do know... is that no one knows.

Also, I'll be making a big, extravagant Games of the Year post once I finish Assassin's Creed and Mass Effect (the latter of which was given to me by my dad). Stay tuned for that.   read

8:02 PM on 12.08.2007

Closed Minded people: I hate them

I have this group of people that I get on TeamSpeak with and we play games. The only problem is, it seems that they hate every game possible.

Whenever I come up with a suggestion on something to play (even if it's free and the only possible thing they could lose is a few minutes of their time), they still refuse. It's so ignorant that it pisses me off.

I just asked one of my fellow TeamSpeak... people to rent Lego Star Wars: The Complete Saga and try the online co-op with me. His response? "Ew." I responded "Ew?" All he said we "Lego Star Wars. Ew."

I'm open to discussion, but to start off a conversation like that is just plain insulting to me and it pissed me right off. Why, exactly, can't he try it? I decided to cool down a little bit and ask him.

"There was this Lego game back in the '90s that I absolutely hated. You didn't build stuff, you raced."

The game ended up being Lego Racers back in 1999. So a game made by a completely different company eight years after the original game he "absolutely hated" has everything to do with the outcome of this game.

Why he can't spend five freakin' dollars and rent a game for a weekend and play it to see if he likes it, rather than just insult my intelligence and automatically assume I like bad games.

This is why I came to this site: To have some discussion about games with other people that know what they're talking about. Not to these people that hate games they've never even played.

Has anyone else had experiences like this?   read

1:15 AM on 12.05.2007

Randy - King of Platforms

Often when I discuss video games the word "platform" comes up in some variation. I compare a lot of games to platformers, say a lot of games would be better with platforming elements, and so on. I really love platformers.

The adrenaline I get from jumping a huge gap that's spitting fireballs at me while dodging saw blades and flying turtles is unmatched and I haven't experienced any sort of other excitement in any other type of game (even if the original Call of Duty got me pumping and the original Silent Hill made me wet myself... with tears, not urine). The thing about enjoying platformers is that you only can enjoy them around once a year. They don't come often. And when they do, they vary in quality (The first three Ratchet and Clanks were exactly the same and Deadlocked wasn't even a platformer anymore). When they do show up, I play through them all in three or four sittings.

I can't remember how pumped I was to put in the original Sly Cooper for the first time. I got giddy like a little girl. Of course, it was in the early 2000s so I was smack dab in the middle of puberty, so I probably was like a little girl, full of squeeky voices and trash staches.

Platformers used to come out every week. The 16-bit era had tons... and TONS of them. Those were the days where I would fake being sick just so I could try and find the other secret exits in Super Mario World or try and beat Shinobi 3 on a harder difficulty.

The point being that it saddens me to think that platformers, the games I've grown up with and have loved with all of my heart, are a dying breed. I'm sure all of us "hardcore" gamers out there (and maybe even some casual ones) has some sort of emotional connection to platformers. Am I wrong?   read

9:27 PM on 12.04.2007

***** "...the..." -

This whole Jeff Gerstmann thing isn't going away any time soon, and thus I have decided it would be the perfect time to start a blog. Now, this post isn't as much about Jeff Gerstmann's "departure" so much it is about Eidos's disgusting way of handling this entire situation.

As a consistent GameSpot member of GameSpot, I knew about Jeff, his work, and his (at least on-screen) personality. I listen to the HotSpot and watch On The Spot every week. The HotSpot was about the editors of GameSpot share their opinions on topics in the video game industry, while On The Spot shows you information on upcoming and newly released video games in a professional, well-crafted manner while also being entertaining.

That being said, all of the on-screen talent that they've had have been disappearing. Rich Gallup, former host of GameSpot Live events, has left and now with Jeff Gerstmann gone they're basically down to people that can only write about games -- not talk about them.

Which takes me to this whole ugly situation. Jeff Gerstmann, like him or not, did his job and did his job well. If someone had a problem with him, they should've confronted him about it before locking him out of his office randomly, without warning.

Whether or not Eidos is, in fact, responsible for his termination is unsure, but one thing is for sure, is that people aren't happy with them. This whole Jeff Gerstmann situation has put Eidos under heavy inspection from rumor sites, bloggers, and fans of Jeff alike. Thus, what normally would be found normal (even if it is disgusting), is taken in the form of treason. Kotaku, a rumor site that tends to sometimes piss people off, has posted a blog about Eidos seeminly lying through their teeth about Kane and Lynch: Dead Men reviews.

While Eidos has since removed the blatant lies, it still strikes me funny as to what gaming companies will do to sell a crappy game. I've been looking around the web to both find more information about this stuff and to see people's reactions.

A funny thing I found while looking at Eidos's official forums under the Kane and Lynch section was a topic about the whole "Eidos lie" thing. These has been discussion (whining, arguing, flaming) about this whole thing, but the thing that I find funny is the loyal "fans" trying to defend Eidos and whatever integrity it has left.

Don't get me wrong, there are some decent points to be found in that topic, but the little panzies that sign up just to defend them are what really cracks me up. The mods, however, weren't as bad as I thought they would be. They are employed by the company people are complaining about, so it's to be expected that they would defend that as much as they have, but I didn't actually expect them to go any further than "It's only a rumor. *close thread*"

One thing that I found hilarious was one person saying that the five stars were actually bullet points rather than review scores and it is perfectly okay for them to do that.

I know when I write stuff, I use bullet points for one sentence on the screen at a time. In fact, I completely neglected to do so.

Anyway, I can see why gaming companies (and movie companies and such) do those types of things, but it's just shady and disgusting how they use every tactic in the book to make their product look better to the consumer than it actually is while still being able to say "we're not lying."

Someone could actually take a review like "This game doesn't even come close to being the best at what it does, and results into a game that you wouldn't ever want to play" and turn it into " ...ever..." followed by five star bullet points!

" ...ever..."

Hell, why even use the stars as bullet points?

10 out of 10 (this is just a bullet point)
" ...ever..."

I've loved video games for a very, very long time, but I never expected the industry to ever become as shady as the rest of the world. But what do I know?   read

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