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Community Discussion: Blog by RJG | Lara Croft is a BitchDestructoid
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I'm a retro junkie. Screw this bump mapped normal mapped anti stropic filtered bloom lighted HDR enhanced 3D model crap, give me sprites, static backgrounds, scrolling screens, slowdown when I shoot up the place a little too much.
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RJG
2:00 AM on 12.06.2008



I used to think Lara was cool. She had a can-do, can't-die attitude did stuff that looked like fun. Just hours in to her new adventure it dawned on me that Lara isn't a heroine at all. She's an egocentric bitch. She is, at best, a completely self-centred anti-hero, and the “good” results of her actions (saving the world, etc) are completely secondary to her own selfish goals.

She is not an archaeologist. She's a destroyer. When she comes across an ancient temple, she doesn't revere it or study it with a dedicated team who love what they do for the sake of science and history, no, she tears it down single handedly because she wants to get to the loot inside before anyone else. Not so she can put it in a museum, but because she wants it because it is somehow tied to her family and her family alone because her dad was an archaeologist and her mum died myteriously so everyone else is secondary and anything she destroys in her way is completely understandable because she's rich and can afford to stuff around.

That's without mentioning the complete disregard she holds for life. The creature she comes across in the first level of Underworld is a magnificent beast. Kind of cranky, sure, but you would be too in those circumstances. Without a thought she kills it fucking dead, a priceless creature not seen in hundreds of years, noble and long lived, and she kills it dead because it's blocking a bloody doorway.

Lara Croft is a bitch.
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she's no naked archaeologist, or naked, or an archaeologist. the fuckin whore of some people.
Atheistium is going to hurt you.
Also, your header made me laugh.
She lives of her inheritance too.

Her family line will end with a crazy old Lara cooped up in her smashed-to-bits mansion as she hugs a shit ton of dusty artefacts exclaiming "MINE!"
Well, she is a tomb raider....
fear not, the franchise is on it's last legs. The new game sold like shit.
Umm, she's been this way since the first tomb raider... If you remember she was killing fucking dinosaurs in the first one. Bitch slapped the last living T-Rex into extinction without remorse.
If I had to choose between the new TR or the new PoP, I would have gone with the prince. Alas, the PC version doesn't come out for another week. Damn it all.

And yes, I'm aware she's a tomb RAIDER, but she's also a remorsely, self-centred BITCH. I've been playing Underworld all day and, honestly, it feels like work. There are so many little problems with it, especially with the controls and the collision detection that it just, ugh, but I'll finish it anyway. I need closure. Plus I spent $60 on it and I want my money's worth.
Did you even play the demo? That alone should of turned you off. Its the biggest pile of shit tomb raider I've ever played, this coming from a person who enjoyed the shit out of anniversary. I didn't even finish the demo, I got so fucking frustrated with the shit controls and the camera when your underwater is just horrible.
Lara could use a re-imagining. Or more clothes. Or less.

But I was playing Legend a while back and it got strange when she started touching every woman in sight and trying to make them feel better. Lara's a lesbian.
yeah...i never really liked her
Well duh, Lara has always been a bitch. Have you never played the old ones??

She fucks things up and fixes them. It's awesome :D

And why would she need to be all nice and crap? People are constantly trying to kill her when she discovers awesome stuff... I'd be angry if I was in her position!
She just hates vases.

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