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I'm a retro junkie. Screw this bump mapped normal mapped anti stropic filtered bloom lighted HDR enhanced 3D model crap, give me sprites, static backgrounds, scrolling screens, slowdown when I shoot up the place a little too much.

2:00 AM on 12.06.2008

I used to think Lara was cool. She had a can-do, can't-die attitude did stuff that looked like fun. Just hours in to her new adventure it dawned on me that Lara isn't a heroine at all. She's an egocentric bitch. She is, at best, a completely self-centred anti-hero, and the good results of her actions (saving the world, etc) are completely secondary to her own selfish goals.

She is not an archaeologist. She's a destroyer. When she comes across an ancient temple, she doesn't revere it or study it with a dedicated team who love what they do for the sake of science and history, no, she tears it down single handedly because she wants to get to the loot inside before anyone else. Not so she can put it in a museum, but because she wants it because it is somehow tied to her family and her family alone because her dad was an archaeologist and her mum died myteriously so everyone else is secondary and anything she destroys in her way is completely understandable because she's rich and can afford to stuff around.

That's without mentioning the complete disregard she holds for life. The creature she comes across in the first level of Underworld is a magnificent beast. Kind of cranky, sure, but you would be too in those circumstances. Without a thought she kills it fucking dead, a priceless creature not seen in hundreds of years, noble and long lived, and she kills it dead because it's blocking a bloody doorway.

Lara Croft is a bitch.

The ship that brought Warhammer: Age of Reckoning to Australia and New Zealand.

I don't want to make a big thing out of this, but here:


Basically, once you install WAR using the discs available from Australian and New Zealand retail stores you still can't play it, because it fails to install an .exe.

That's right, there's no way to actually launch the game once it is installed.

There is a fix available (basically downloading an .exe from someone who has it) but goddamn, this is just pathetic.

There is no excuse for this. EA is crap. That is all.

So there's this company called Stardock that are mostly known for producing programs that make Windows pretty. They invested in a team called Ironclad Games who were working on the title Sins of a Solar Empire, and all up it cost about a million dollars. They released this game, at retail and online, with no DRM. There is an authentication key, however, that lets you download patches and updates that includes new content for the game.

Today, Stardock announced they have sold 500,000 copies. 400,000 through retail, another 100,000 through publisher Stardock's online platform to rival Steam. Essentially, this means that a title that cost 1 million to make, market and distribute, has gone on to earn (assuming that all sales were on the low-end US dollar [PAL region sales bump up the figure considerably] and assuming all sales are for the $39.99 price listed on GameStop and you've got...)


That's a hell of a turnover. It's well over $20 million, counting PAL sales, but hot damn, that is a lot of money.

So here's a big round of applause for Stardock, one of the few companies getting PC gaming right. They produce for the audience they have, for a wide range of hardware (read: old hardware), they release without DRM and they have plenty of support and content to add long after the game has shipped.

I just found this on Reddit. It's kinda VGR, on account of the song being in Guitar Hero and because, well, who didn't listen to some Rush when playing NES way back when? Also, the "all Rush mixtape" from Futurama's Nintendo 64 episode kind of counts too.

Anyway, behold.

Just found out she also has a cover of Carry On My Wayward Son by Kansas as well. Holy shit.

10:02 PM on 08.19.2008

PC gaming gets all the hot vampire bitches

I don't know if you've seen this on Kotaku. I hadn't, until I found it on Reddit.

A choice quote: “Our analysis clearly shows incredible growth in online PC gaming, proof that this industry is far stronger than anyone has reported,” said Stude. “Today’s consumers shop where they live - online.”

Now we can argue back and forth about all sorts of crap, about whether PC gaming is dead because MS is focusing on the Xbox where it can make royalties out the wazoo, or about how EA focuses on console titles or how Epic thinks PC gaming is dead because PC gamers didn't give a shit about their year old Gears of War port and the version of Unreal Tournament III no one wanted. You know, the one without the goddamned Assault Mode.

Truth is, PC gaming is doing damn fine with retail accounting for only half of the total sales. So yeah, if you saw PC gaming had only $5 billion dollar profits, you could say that it was a problem (and you'd still be wrong), but combined with the first real solid numbers for digital distribution, like Steam (which Capcom hates for some reason), we see that PC gamers are, once again, leading the trend, and the next big trend is DD.

The last time I bought a retail game was when EB had a sale and I could get the Diablo Battlechest for 50% off, the same price I could get it online, without the wait. Other than that, it's been Steam all the way (until Capcom get their hands out of their ass and make the Capcom Store available to Australians so I can play Bionic Commando Rearmed FFS!).

Can we stop with the "PC gaming is dead, piracy is killing everyone" bullshit now please? PC gaming isn't dead but sales for your game are. Because it's crap.

8:12 AM on 08.06.2008

So my PC is playing up due to an install that went bad, and due to the fact I didn't have enough room on the HDD to have 8GB sitting there that couldn't be removed, I now need to format.

So out comes the external HDD so I can copy my Steam folder over and not have to download all that crap again (No, I don't have a separate HDD for My Documents and Games. I am buying it next week, having given the old IDE I was using away and relying solely on the shiny new SATA-II until).

While copying that crap over (takes forever mind you, lousy USB transfer speeds) I get a virus warning. Here, let me show you it:

It made me LOL! Especially having just read this article on front page.

I'm not ragging on Luc, but it's still pretty hilarious. I'm pretty sure it's a false alarm. I hope to fuck it is. Maybe he's getting revenge for people pissing on his baby.

Well that baby should have drowned by now, because there were quite a few bladders emptying on to it.

Another thing that made me LOL! recently is my shiny new monitor: An ASUS VW222U. 22" black inches of TF2 Demoman fun.

Now, as you may or may not know, stuck pixels are a pain in the ass. You might not also know that ASUS has a three pixel policy when it comes to stuck and dead pixels.

My new monitor had a nasty red one, just up and right of the centre. I spent hours trying to fix that damn thing the day I got it. First I tried the animated GIFs that can shock the pixel in to changing due to rapid fire flashes of bright colour. Failing that I tried poking it, or massaging it. Failing that I tried holding the pixel in while turning the monitor on and off.

Nothing worked.

The following day, while news came in of a storm raging in New Zealand (I live on the southern coast of New South Wales) and having contacted ASUS and being heartbroken with a retarded, disabled baby, I bit my lip and dried my eyes and kept on playing TF2, picking blue when possible so that shooting at the red team would make it less noticeable.

9:45PM. 2145 hours.


22" of sticky bomb fun!

The wind storm hits Wollongong with a fury. Power goes out over several suburbs.

There is not back up power in my flat. No surge protector on my PC wall socket.

Silence, save for the roaring 100km+ winds, tearing sheet metal from roofs nearby and the crackling of distant trees shedding unwanted limbs.

I put it from my mind as best I can. My DS is still charged, so I play FFIV for a while. Three hours later, the power comes back on.

To the PC I rush, hoping everything is Oll Korrekt.

I turn on the monitor...it's working! The PC checks her hard drives out, making sure no files were damaged and I sit there as the black wallpaper with the little white circle I put there to surround the dead pixel on my screen mocks me.

Except it isn't.

The circle is empty.

Let this be a lesson to you: If you have a stuck pixel, try a power surge or a black out. Maybe both!

If it doesn't fix the problem, it might make it worse, which means you could qualify for ASUS damned three pixel policy.

Mother Nature nurtured my baby and healed my monitor. She makes me LOL!

Update: Just got this in an email.

Speaking of FFIV, I'm also a word nerd who has signed up for a 'word of the day' email from dictionary.com. Today's word is Spoony.

spoony \SPOO-nee\, adjective:

1. Foolish; silly; excessively sentimental.
2. Foolishly or sentimentally in love.

Now you know what Tellah meant when he called Edward a spoony bard. I always thought it was a silly translation because the Japanese had a swear word in there. This word made me LOL!