[Before anyone starts accusing me of being some creepy nerd, this is actually based on Japanator's Confessions series.
Read 'em. They're awesome.]
Oh... hi, Tali. You probably have no idea who I am, and I don't blame you, because you're you and I'm me and well, uh, what I'm saying is... that, you know, we're both different species, technically and even despite that I still think... sorry, it's just, I haven't been able to work up the nerve to say this for a long while and I'm just trying to get it all out there. Yeah, maybe that'll help.
I've admired you for a while, Tali. Yeah, that 'Cerberus bug' you found near your station at the Engineering Deck? That was mine. Oh, but please put away the shotgun. I'm not a stalker, it wasn't serious like sit there for twelve hours eating popcorn or whatever. Just maybe half an hour every day, maybe every other day. Okay, that came out bad, but... I'll just come out and say it. Tali'Zorah vas Normandy, I love you.
Before you do anything drastic, let me explain myself. I'm serious. It's just from the moment I laid my eyes on you, there was a spark. Maybe you didn't see it, because that stupid Commander Shepard was all trying to woo you and stuff. Which, if you wanted it, then I might of been cool with it. Even if I feel you're making a bit of a mistake, which isn't to say you make them often... but still, uh... I'm bad at this. But I just feel he isn't the right person for you.
I mean, you know Liara? That skanky asari who would never be able to stop fainting after every mission? He was busy wooing her and that Ashley girl. Then
suggested a three-way when confronted on who to choose! You must’ve seen at least some of it. He doesn’t care about you, Tali. Not really. He's just making a check list of aliens he’s… done. Don't think he isn't going to abandon you once some turian lady shows up and he notices that particular box on his list is unmarked.
Don't give me that look, uh, so to speak. You know it's true. But me? Well, I may not be the galaxy's greatest hero but I'm still a caring individual, a lot more than Shepard, at the very least. Unlike Shepard, you're the only girl for me. Even through tough times (Reapers and all that), I'll stick by you to the very end, nevermind the elcor looking at me oddly right now.
I've always been able to look past your mask, because it's your personality that draws me in. Not that exoticism attached to your suit and your accent, or 'ooh, what does she look like under the mask?'. I love how you’re simultaneously a monster with a shotgun yet still adorably awkward in conversations.
So, who’ll it be then, Miss vas Normandy? Me or Shepard. Choose quickly, captain’s orders.