I've been playing games for a large majority of my life, so when I tell you that I've come to a revelation that has shocked me to my gaming core, the part of me that is larger than almost any other, you may begin to appreciate where I'm coming from. I'd like you to bear with me, we'll be touching all over the place (but not on little kids or women, because that's illegal).
I'll begin with MMOs, as I recently (approximately six months ago) quit World of Warcraft again. There was a very good reason for it: everything in the game could be broken down to a monotonous task that I was to perform, one way or another, for hours upon hours at a time. For the most part, this was entirely self- motivated. I simply wanted to have better gear / stats / in-game rep than my friends. Or anyone I happened to run across. I wasn't very good at it, which made The Grind even more unbearable, as did the fact that I'm not very good at muti-tasking. Even so, day in and day out I would find myself staring at my trusted laptop for days of my life, gathering Signets, Badges of Justice and cold hard gold.
Eventually, I realized how monotonous it all was, and growing increasingly resentful toward The Grind, I branched out, looking to other forms of electronic distraction to satiate my love of the medium and was shocked when I found that I was not enjoying any form of games. I had been tainted by an MMO, and was only beginning to feel the cold fear that gripped as intense as any phobia. A fear that I have only now come to describe as "The Grind". I wrote about this fear briefly in an earlier blog, but the more I have come to play, the more I have identified and isolated the feeling.
For example, when I sit down to play an adventure game, I will normally attempt to collect all the pieces of heart, or masks, or stars, whatever the game has to offer. Normally, this is driven by my own competitive nature, my need to find more or apply myself more to a game than my friends, even if I don't directly know someone who is currently playing the game. I need bragging rights for when I meet the only other person to have played this game to the end, let alone to 100% completion. But when I realize what I'm doing, that I'm simply going through a mediocre, monotonous process that doesn't even touch the underlying narrative or sometimes even the primary game mechanic, I find myself afraid, for I have encountered The Grind in the wild once more.
I find the same gripping terror when I play puzzle games (incredibly Grind-driven), or any game with a High Score. I found it in the movie "The King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters" when Steve Wiebe drew out maps of each stage of DK to maximize his potential path. When I played WoW and even Pokemon, I made spreadsheets of gear, or IVs, or charted the most effective opposition to certain offenses in Halo. I've even found the fear in Audiosurf, being drawn to Stealth Mono mode (as there is a definitive ending!) and attempting to hit every single color bar to get the best score. I live for this in games, I feed off it, and once I realize what I'm doing, how I'm mutilating the games that I love so much, I'm disgusted with myself, and afraid that I won't be able to stop, that I'll continue ruining games in this way for myself long into the future.
It's truly terrifying when you realize that every game you play is nothing more than a repetitive mechanism cleverly (or not) disguised by plot, style, and the occasional non-stat driven multiplayer. Think closely about your favorite games, I think you'll be just as frightened as I to discover how much time you waste on the same shit, over and over.
I have hit a few times when I stepped back and realized I was no longer having fun with a game, but just playing to completion so I could say I did it. When that happens, I either just finish it not-100%, or quit it altogether.
Dude thank you for addressing this... I played WoW for two months and had one of every character class at lvl 20-30. After that I was done with that grind!
But one of my absolute biggest pet peeves is tacked-on collectables in video games. The most notorious in my mind would be assassin's creed with those fucking flags.
It took me a long time to just let go of the coveted 100% completion. It's just not worth it.
But yeah great write-up! This is definitely something I can relate to.
i totally know what you mean, and it is freaking scary to think about... i've come to realizations while playing games at times and thought, 'what's the fucking point of this, i'm just doing xxx and then what? THEN WHAT??'
it freaks me out considering gaming is my favorite hobby... without it.. i don't even know what i'd be doing to fill my time.. yikes.
Not all games are this way. Competitive 2D fighting games, or even well made action games (DMC3 specifically) have no boundaries in skill.
Trying to perfect jump canceling, just-guarding, just-releasing, and just trying to master combo chaining is a challenge against only yourself, almost like golf.
...unless you're too obsessed with grinding that these genres don't even appeal to you. =/
The grind...THE GRIND!!!.
Seriously though, I do hate the grind. Some games mask it better than others but usually MMO's do a terrible job and masking their boring inner workings.
@Arttemis:
I've tried a few fighting games, and the time that I put into the game on my own in training or practice mode to master combos, combo chaining, and other timing issues in a game more than fully qualify the genre to be yet another instance of The Grind. And just as scary.
I only 100% games that I get obsessed with. Mario 64, Super Mario Galaxy, Resident Evil 4 (Beat on Professional, 5 star ratings on all mercenaries missions, unlocked every hidden weapon), Zelda: Ocarina of Time, Banjo Kazooie- Yep I did everything in that game. Every puzzle piece, every Jengo, all of it. I find myself just playing through games more and more these days though.