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Scary Womanizing Pig Mask was a good friend. Wherever you've gone, I hope you're in a better place.

Beyamor's avatar fathered mine's love child at PAX East. It's ok though, 'cuz he gave me a picture of a Kirby as child support. Cheap bastard...



I inspired a song. (Thanks, Alphadeus!)


I am an element of Destructoid. (Thanks, Corduroy Turtle!)

10 things that may help you to understand me better.

I used to be the Cblog Recapper for Mondays. It was a good run.



May want to stay out of the old stuff. I didn't know what I was doing when I started here.
Like most other D-toiders I am male, 15 to 30 something, introverted to the point of social ineptitude, and grew up obsessing over whatever videogames I came across-- somewhat to the chagrin of my parents. I have about 9-10 gigs (yes, GIGS) of hard drive space devoted to game music, original soundtracks and remixes alike (Much love for OCRemix ). I've logged many, many hours into World of Warcraft, though I cancelled my account and have been "clean" for a couple of years now. I am a moderately slavering Nintendo fan because-- let's be fair... they were easily the biggest influence in my formative years. Because of this, it is my belief that Smash Bros. Brawl was created specifically for me. The fact that the rest of you may enjoy it is merely coincidence.

I am something of a stickler for both grammar and punctuation, and the use of "LOL" and its truncated ilk sometimes causes me to cringe. Fairly warned be ye, says I.



I work and go to college part time, which is a strain on both my finances and my free time. As such, my gaming collection isn't as up-to-date as I'd like. Somehow, I have managed to obtain a Wii, PS3, and a 360. My favorite console, however, is still the original NES My brother and I bought ourselves 20-odd years ago. I'm almost never more than 50 feet from my DS. I just replaced my computer's innards, and have found that I have more PC games to catch up on than time to do it in. I manage to stay current on most games by visiting friends with other systems, and the ancient art of borrowing. And that's a nice thing about games... if you miss `em you can go back to them years later and they're just the same as they ever were.

I tend to be more of a lurker than a contributor, but if I see something I think is particularly humorous or worthy, I do enjoy sharing.

E-mail: Qalamari {at} gmail {dot} com. Infrequently checked, you're better off sending me a PM on the site.

PSN: Qalamari. Haven't been on there much lately. =/

Steam: Qalamari. Steam sales are craaaazy! Always willing to help with Hat Fortress 2.

Xbox 360: Qalamari. You may be picking up on a theme here by now.

I love to see new Miis. If you add my Wii code, let me know! 5015-7633-5088-2932

Brawl code: 1289-7907-1240. PM me if you add it so I can hit you back.

Mario Kart Wii code: 0731-5535-7924. Same deal.

I had Pokemon codes here once, but I don't think anybody cared.
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With less than a week until the doors of PAX are thrown wide, I thought it might be useful to share some of the things I've learned by attending for the last two years, in a handy and simple do/don't format. Actually, most of this stuff is applicable to any convention you attend. Print one out! Folds up and fits right in your pocket.



DO:


Wear comfortable shoes. I can't stress this enough. During the convention, you're going to be on your feet a LOT. Whether you're standing in the concert hall , perusing the show floor or walking around downtown Seattle on a pub crawl, chances are pretty good your basic mode of transport is going to be the Shoelace Express. Do your feet a favor and wear some shoes that you've already broken in. There aren't too many maladies that can ruin fun faster than a blister.



Bring your portable system and a charger. PAX is a digital wonderland, and if you ever wanted to play multiplayer on that obscure Japanese game you imported, this is probably your best chance to find someone else as crazy as you are. You can also let your Nintendogs out to play, battle Pokemon, or level the hell out of your pins in The World Ends With You. You will be standing in a lot of lines, so take advantage of the time to get in a few games of Tetris DS or Monster Hunter. Just don't forget the charger, and make sure to power up every night.

Plan your day beforehand. At any given time there are 5-7 events going on simultaneously. It's simply not possible to see and do everything. You may have to make some tough decisions, but that's where the program guide you get when you register is your best friend. There's a graphical version of the daily schedule in the guide, so it's easy to circle what you want to do and refer to it regularly. And if something you thought you would like turns out to be less interesting than you thought, don't feel bad about leaving and doing something else for a while. The primary goal here is to have fun.

Plan on using plastic whenever possible. Normally I wouldn't recommend this, as I feel it's better to have cash in hand when you want to purchase something. However, the ATM in the convention center ran out of cash daily last year, and there's a $3 fee every time you use the thing anyway. So long as you pay back the balance before the end of the month, it's much cheaper and more convenient to use your credit card for whatever you buy. This isn't to say you shouldn't carry some cash, but plan on using it for food and gratuities, not souvenirs.



Speaking of food, that brings me to the 6-2-1 rule. PAX is a busy weekend, and it's easy to forget to take care of basic human necessities. During each convention day, you should do your best to get:
6 hours of sleep,
2 meals, and
1 shower.
You can try mixing up the ratio, for example getting two hours of sleep and eating six meals, or getting one hour of sleep, taking six showers, and eating a single meal. This has been attempted in the past, and is not advisable.

Bring a camera. Cosplay pictures, upcoming games, some freak wearing a blue shell hat... You won't be able to post pictures on your blog if you don't have it with you. Try to keep it as accessible as possible (shoulder/neck strap, man bag etc.) so you don't miss capturing something epic.

Last but not least, Wear deodorant. There will be more than 50,000 people visiting Arcadia over the holiday weekend, which means there will be, at a conservative estimate, 100,000 armpits. Even though you are certain that your sweat glands release the scent of fresh-baked pastries, please apply deodorant anyway. Everyone around you will show their appreciation by not gagging, turning white, or passing out.




DO NOT

Make an ass of yourself. The PAX rules are written on your badge, and they aren't hard to follow. Breaking them reflects poorly not only on yourself but on anyone you're with... like, say, a certain group of fun-loving bloggers.

Bring home consoles. I tried to do this last year and found out the hard way that most hotels lock out the inputs on their T.V.s specifically to block this sort of thing. Sure, it's a dick move on their part, but learn from my mistake and save yourself the hassle of shipping a console to yourself at your hotel or trying to take it through airport security.



Spend so much time at the convention that you miss out on meeting other people from Destructoid. I did this last year and I've been regretting it ever since. Last year I came up with a big group of friends and spent most of my time hanging out with them. I don't regret that, but only after did I think to myself, "Hey. I see these guys all the time. I just missed an opportunity to hang out with people I won't see for at least another year." If you're going, you really have no excuse not to check out the PAX meetup group's Cblog at the very least.

Forget to leave room in your bags for souvenirs. It's easy to get carried away, and there's a few things at PAX you can't find this side of Akihabara. You'll also end up with quite a bit of swag, some of it posters and other things that may not travel well. There's a Kinko's in the lower level of the convention center that can help with shipping it back home if that's what it comes down to... but it's easier just to plan ahead and leave some room in your suitcase.



Be rude to the speakers/other guests. If you need to leave a panel/movie/whatever, try to do so without disrupting other attendees. Don't slam the door on the way out, and wait until you're outside to start talking. This is just common courtesy, but unfortunately that seems to be less and less common every year.

Miss the next PAX. While this may be the last wholly unifying game show in Seattle, the fact that PAX is becoming a bi-yearly event means there's less excuse than ever to miss one. You will have to make sacrifices in time, money, and perhaps favors owed, but I can attest with no uncertainty that it's entirely worth it.

Q
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Hey guys,


Savage Pikachu, by DeviantArt user Nocturnal Devil.

I'll admit there's been a lot less enthusiasm for this project than I had been hoping for. I'm going to give it a go anyway though in the hopes that perhaps we can build on the first season with a more widespread field of competitors in the future. To those who did sign up, thanks very much. I hope you'll have fun with this moving forward.

Seven people signed up including myself, so I added one bye for the first week of competition to even out the brackets. To ensure that the order of competition is as impartial as possible, I used The Golden Avatar's random name selection program to fill out the bracket. I'll upload the video if anyone has questions, but that seems like it might be more trouble than it's worth. Here's what week one looks like.



Remember, from right now you have ONE WEEK to meet up with your partner and battle it out. Rules are here, please e-mail me with your results as soon as possible.

I'll be posting results every Wednesday until a victor is crowned. Get to battling!

Q
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Yeah, I used it before. I made it. I like it. I'm using it again.


Hey guys and gals.

I'm heading out of town this weekend but I wanted to let everyone know that signups are still open for the Pokemon tournament I'd like to run over the coming weeks. Why do I say "I'd like to run" rather than " I am running"? Well, that's where you come in.

As of right now I have less than 8 people who have signed up to participate. I'm not a math whiz but even I know that in a community with over 30,000 members, this is just barely on the shady side of 0.0%. Since a tournament is a large group of combatants systematically being reduced in number until only one remains, it doesn't make a whole lot of sense to hold one when the number of participants is as close to zero as it is.

I've seen a lot of posts mentioning a desire to enter, but I haven't gotten information from those people. Please, PLEASE send it in, I've tried to make it as easy as possible, and there are three ways to do so. You can E-mail it to me (Qalamari {at} Gmail {dot} com), or hit up my previous Cblog or the forum thread devoted to the subject.



I'll sweeten the deal a bit. If you sign up, I'll send you a set of the special Johto starters I bred up to give away at PAX last year. Signups will be closed at the end of this coming weekend (Feb 22). If at that time there are still less than 8 people signed up, I'll have to call it off. If you have any interest at all, please sign up... I'd hate to have to cancel the tournament for lack of interest.

Q











This is cross-posted in the forums, so feel free to head over that direction if you're so inclined.

All right. From my previous post and Cblog it appears as though there is enough interest in some sort of digital cockfighting organization to make it worth pursuing. SO!

Here's what I need from every participant. You can post it in this thread or send it to Qalamari {at} gmail {dot} com.

1.) "Pal pad" code from your DS game AND/OR Wii friend code+Pokemon Battle Revolution code. Preferably both if you own `em.

2.) Contact information. At the very least an e-mail address so I can get people in touch with their intended opponent. I've found it's extremely difficult to coordinate online battles without some third party method of communication, so any IM clients you use, Skype, Ventrilo, Teamspeak, AIM, even Steam. If you'd prefer to stay anonymous, just list which of those you have access to and I'll only ask for them as needed.

3.) OPTIONAL: What times of the week/day you're available. My schedule is completely jacked up, as you may have been able to infer from the fact that I'm posting this at 5 in the morning on Valentine's day. Knowing what times you'd be available to coordinate would be helpful, but isn't strictly necessary.



Rules-These are open to debate until we actually begin the tournament. The following are some I came up with, I welcome others' input.



A.) If both combatants agree to a different set of rules before their match, whatever ruleset they agree upon beforehand supercedes the following rules. Please make sure both parties understand the rules before beginning your match.

B.) The following Pokemon are considered illegal for this tournament. #150 Mewtwo, #151 Mew, #249 Lugia, #250 Ho-oh, #251 Celebi, #382 Kyogre, #383 Groudon, #384 Rayquaza, #385 Jirachi, #386 Deoxys, #483 Dialga, #484 Palkia, #487 Giratina, #490 Manaphy, #491 Darkrai, #492 Shaymin, #493 Arceus.

Each team may contain no more than ONE from the following list. #144 Articuno, #145 Zapdos, #146 Moltres, #202 Wobbuffet, #242 Blissey, #243 Raikou, #244 Entei, #245 Suicune, #377 Regirock, #378 Regice, #379 Registeel, #380 Latias, #381 Latios, #480 Uxie, #481 Mesprit, #482 Azelf #485 Heatran, #486 Regigigas, #488 Cresselia.

I tried to make this list based on comparitive power. If you think some should be moved from one list to the other let me know and I'll take it into consideration.

C.) All pokemon on the same team must be unique: that is to say you may not have two of the same species on the same team. Having a Porygon-2 and a Porygon-Z on the same team is fine, having two Porygon-Z is not.

D.) Each pokemon must have a different hold item. No fair giving everyone Leftovers.

E.) All matches will be Single battles with teams of 6 at the Level 50 rank. Wi-fi battles will autobalance everyone's pokemon to level 50 at this rank, whether their actual level is higher or lower.

F.) From the time I mail out the battle assignments you'll have one week to coordinate with your partner and battle one another. Once the battle is completed, BOTH parties please e-mail me the results at the above address. If you are unable to coordinate with one another during the week, both parties forfeit. If I only get results from one person or get conflicting reports about the results of a battle, the party I get results from LAST will be the ones I go with. Results will be posted weekly in my Cblog until the tournament has a champion, what time is yet to be determined.

G.) Finally and perhaps most important, don't be a douche. We're all playing this to have fun, don't bring your hacked l. 200 shiny monstrosities into it. There's literally nothing at stake here. If you want to grief people, go play something else.


I think that's everything. If I forgot something or you have other suggestions, post them in the forum thread or below and I'll alter the initial blog as events dictate.

Q

EDIT: added Blissey and Wobbuffet to restricted list due to popular demand.
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I know, I know, Forum post. I'll head over there next.



In my 10 things post, I mentioned offhandedly that I'd been thinking of putting together some sort of unofficial Destructoid Pokemon tournament. This'll only work if enough people are involved, so before I go off half-(also)cocked, I'd like to get a general idea of how many folks would participate. If you'd be interested, please post below. If there's enough enthusiasm for this I'll try and get it set up to get started next weekend.

Oh, and don't forget to head to Toys'R'Us this week and pick up a Shaymin. I've gone to all the wireless events, and it's pretty easy to get in, get the special-edition critter and get out without anyone noticing. If Pokemon is a guilty pleasure for you, rest assured that it's unlikely you'll be spotted.
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Yeah, I know, I used this in the recaps. I just want to get some more mileage out of it. How often do you get to post a digitally altered movie poster for a re-imagined Shakespeare play on a videogame blog?

When I saw SilverDragon's challenge to the community, I thought it was a great idea. Little did I know that within 48 hours there'd be nearly 200 blogs on the subject from community members both new and old, well known and obscure. This was my first real challenge as a recapper-- the aftermath of the Hugstorm last month was child's play in comparison.

As I said in the recap, I've learned a lot from reading the various 10 things posts, both about individuals and the collective hivemind that is the community. And in every case, I have been favorably impressed by what people have been willing to share about themselves. It's amazing what you can learn if you're willing to give a little of yourself first. My hat is off to SilverDragon for suggesting this.

The reason I say you most assuredly don't know this is because I've never revealed most of these things outside my family. I'm not an exhibitionist; I'm an intense introvert. I'll go into that more later. This is one of the harder things I've ever written.

1.) I'm a procrastinator. If I don't have a deadline looming overhead, I have great difficulty forcing motivation upon myself. It's a habit I'm trying to break myself of, but success has been... elusive. I do feel that except in very specific situations it's better to do something right and late than on-time and poorly or not at all. It's not something I'm proud of, and I rank lack of timeliness high on my list of character flaws.

2.) I'm an Eagle Scout and have been for nearly half my life now. I was fascinated to see that so many others on Destructoid share this accomplishment-- BSA statistics say that less than 1% of the boys who enter scouting finish by earning their Eagle rank.



3.) I've never been officially diagnosed, but I exhibit every symptom of Social Anxiety Disorder. I've seen lots of people saying they're shy or introverted, but I find it hard to believe they're as socially inept as I can be. I tend to be very careful about what I reveal about myself, on or offline. Making this post is absolutely terrifying to me, and the only reason I'm even considering it is the cloak of anonymity my avatar affords me. I like to keep my lives on and offline as separate as possible, but lately I've been trying to blur the line, to break out of my shell a little. Results have been positive so far, but I'd like to do more. I've been to PAX the last two years, but apart from the panel, I barely got to meet any of the Destructoid crew. To me, the various editors and even the community members are like celebrities... people who I know a lot about but who don't know (or care) about me. That makes them difficult to approach. I'm making slow progress... I signed up for Facebook this year and although I haven't added many people, a couple of those on my sparse friends list are from Destructoid.

4.) Perhaps because of my tendency not to reach out to new people, I am exceptionally loyal to the friends I do have. I still hang out with several of the friends I met in high school more than 10 years ago. I like helping my friends, in whatever way I can... this extends to virtual realms as well as the physical. Sometimes I promise too much and end up letting someone down because I've overestimated what I can reasonably accomplish.

5.) Between work and going to school part time, my schedule just plain sucks. I work nights and Saturday, and I have to get up early for class 5 days a week and then stay at work until pretty late at night. I wish I'd been able to finish my degree back when everyone around me was getting theirs. Thank God I don't have anyone living with me to subject to my crazy hours. It's very hard to plan anything and my social life is limited to whatever I can cram into the few hours that mesh with normal people's schedules. Unfortunately this means I miss out on all the community events like Friday Night Fights, TFTuesdays... I'm even at work when the Destructoid podcasts are being recorded, so I can't make the show posts. It's rough, but in this economy I feel fortunate enough just to HAVE a job, so I don't complain too loudly. Anymore.

6.) I haven't been a gamer all my life. My brother and I bought a Nintendo Entertainment System with our own money in 1988. My parents HATED that we spent so much time on it, and I'm sure the screaming and shoving matches that resulted from adversarial games of Double Dragon and Super Mario Bros. 3's battle mode didn't help matters. We weren't allowed to buy a 16 or 32 bit console when those eventually came out. By the time I was on my own enough to defy their authority, it was the late 32 bit era and the first console I bought again with my own money was the N64. I feel as though I lapsed and have returned... and I've been doing my damndest to catch up on everything I missed during those years ever since.



7.) Even though we weren't allowed to buy consoles, that didn't stop us both from getting Gameboys. I am what you might charitably call a Pokemon addict. Less charitably, you might call me completely f***ing insane. In the portable series, I've logged over 2,000 hours. Over 600 of that is on my copy of Diamond, where I've managed to flesh out a completely full National Pokedex with all 493 legitimately obtainable pokemon, legitimately obtained, and IN F***ING ORDER. From Bulbasaur to Darkrai. That's one of my proudest gaming accomplishments-- and I still play for a few minutes each night before I go to bed. I've been thinking it might be fun to set up a Destructoid Pokemon tournament... there seem to be a lot of folks here who share my obsession with electronic cockfighting.

8.) My avatar name came from EverQuest. I started that game making a pretty little girl character on the theory that all the horny 13 year old boys playing the game would shower me with loot and free powerleveling. I was stumped when it came time to pick a name though, so I used the random name generator for my High Elf Paladin. I flipped through a few: Faylani, Tradenal, and the like... and the stars aligned when the generator came up with Qalamari. I remember saying to myself, out loud, "That's too stupid NOT to use." My use of the Blooper enemy from Super Mario Bros. as my avatar was a natural extension. What's more, I've had something of a soft spot for squid ever since. In all honesty, it's been a great character name. Even in a fantasy setting not too many people start their names with a "Q," so one letter in the chatbox or through the headset can get my attention. To the best of my knowledge, no one else shares this unique name.


Ok, fine, I won't abbreviate it. Baby.

9.) I don't drink, smoke or ingest illicit substances. Partly because I don't like the taste, partly because I'm a control freak and don't like the idea of having something removing my inhibitions. I'm not judgemental about it, and I will have a drink socially from time to time. As long as you're not affecting anyone else, I don't have a problem with whatever you want to sniff, shoot, snort, lick, or rub into your belly. Just don't ask ME to try it.

10.) I am the quintessential lurker. I read and listen a ton more than I post. I know a lot more about this community than most members (I think) but partly due to my schedule I have a hard time keeping up on anything other than the Cblogs. Part of the reason I volunteered to help out with the Cblog recaps is because I hope it will allow me to get my name out there a little more, test the waters as it were. The rest of the reason is that I can't adequately express how much I enjoy this community and its in-your-face call-it-like-it-is attitude, which I respect greatly. Volunteering is one way I saw I could give something back.



Q
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