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About Me

Scary Womanizing Pig Mask loved me. Wherever you've gone, I hope you're in a better place.

Beyamor's avatar fathered mine's love child at PAX East. It's ok though, 'cuz he gave me a picture of a Kirby as child support. Cheap bastard...



I inspired a song. (Thanks, Alphadeus!)


I am an element of Destructoid. (Thanks, Corduroy Turtle!)

10 things that may help you to understand me better.

I used to be the Cblog Recapper for Mondays. It was a good run.



May want to stay out of the old stuff. I didn't know what I was doing when I started here.
Like most other D-toiders I am male, 15 to 30 something, introverted to the point of social ineptitude, and grew up obsessing over whatever videogames I came across-- somewhat to the chagrin of my parents. I have about 9-10 gigs (yes, GIGS) of hard drive space devoted to game music, original soundtracks and remixes alike (Much love for OCRemix ). I've logged many, many hours into World of Warcraft, though I cancelled my account and have been "clean" for nearly a year now. I am a moderately slavering Nintendo fan because-- let's be fair... they were easily the biggest influence in my formative years. Because of this, it is my belief that Smash Bros. Brawl was created specifically for me. The fact that the rest of you may enjoy it is merely coincidence.

I am something of a stickler for both grammar and punctuation, and the use of "LOL" and its truncated ilk sometimes causes me to cringe. Fairly warned be ye, says I.



I work and go to college part time, which is a strain on both my finances and my free time. As such, my gaming collection isn't as up-to-date as I'd like. Somehow, I have managed to obtain a Wii, PS3, and a 360. My favorite console, however, is still the original NES My brother and I bought ourselves 20-odd years ago. I'm almost never more than 50 feet from my DS. I just replaced my computer's innards, and have found that I have more PC games to catch up on than time to do it in. I manage to stay current on most games by visiting friends with other systems, and the ancient art of borrowing. And that's a nice thing about games... if you miss `em you can go back to them years later and they're just the same as they ever were.

I tend to be more of a lurker than a contributor, but if I see something I think is particularly humorous or worthy, I do enjoy sharing.

E-mail: Qalamari {at} gmail {dot} com. Infrequently checked, you're better off sending me a PM on the site.

PSN: Qalamari. Haven't been on there much lately. =/

Steam: Qalamari. Steam sales are craaaazy! Always willing to help with Hat Fortress 2.

Xbox 360: Qalamari. You may be picking up on a theme here by now.

I love to see new Miis. If you add my Wii code, let me know! 5015-7633-5088-2932

Brawl code: 1289-7907-1240. PM me if you add it so I can hit you back.

Mario Kart Wii code: 0731-5535-7924. Same deal.

I had Pokemon codes here once, but I don't think anybody cared.

Gamer Profile

3DS friend code:
Steam: Qalamari
Battle:
PSN: Qalamari
Mii: 5015 7633 5088 2932
Gamertag: Qalamari

Following (90)

RFGO! supplemental: Castlevania YTMNDs Qalamari | 7:19 PM on 05.18.2008 12 comments

In a previous installment I mentioned that I might do this again, so I figure that's fair warning. Here then are several YTMNDs related to tonight's RetroforceGO! topic, the Castlevania series. I'm aware that Dracula's castle utilizes non-Euclidean design, but this is ridiculous. In the movie version of Castlevania, Alucard will be played by Nic Cage. Welll... maybe he'd rather just watch. Bet you thought you'd never see another Transylvanian dance club after the one that appeared in Night of the Raving Dead. At least this one doesn't have Jimmy Fallon. The Castlevania rap. Simmon is coming, indeed. Adding liberal amounts of Cosby to anything can make it better. In a similar vein (hur hur) the addition of Katamari almost always equals improvement. What would YTMND be without dramatic fanfiction readings? Why bother with whips or swords? The XP fad was always one of my favorites... and it's how I came to be involved with Destructoid in the first place. Soma Cruz seems to like the Bee Gees. Nothin' wrong with that. Anyone who played one of Soma's games to 100% completion will understand the frustration behind this YTMND. This is about as random as it gets. I like it for some reason though. Probably the music. Speaking of music, this version of "Lost Painting" is just lovely. Where there's a whip... A good mash up. Doc Louis really shouldn't have stolen Simon's bike. This is one of my favorite YTMND's ever. The timing is just flawless. Poor Simon. Little known fact: Alucard got busted for possession of "Laurels" and was forced to make this Public Service Announcement as part of his plea deal. (On the original SotN disc, this segued into a techno song they didn't end up using in the game. That was a great easter egg.) I'm not sure how to describe this other than to say it features Jean-Luc Picard whipping a man in the face. Was there ever a Castlevania JRPG? It seems like a natural. Juste Belmont could buy pretty much anything in Harmony of Dissonance. And we'll close things up with a dance party. That's all for this edition, hope folks enjoyed it.