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About Me




Scary Womanizing Pig Mask loved me. Wherever you've gone, I hope you're in a better place.

Beyamor's avatar fathered mine's love child at PAX East. It's ok though, 'cuz he gave me a picture of a Kirby as child support. Cheap bastard...



I inspired a song. (Thanks, Alphadeus!)


I am an element of Destructoid. (Thanks, Corduroy Turtle!)

10 things that may help you to understand me better.

I used to be the Cblog Recapper for Mondays. It was a good run.



May want to stay out of the old stuff. I didn't know what I was doing when I started here.
Like most other D-toiders I am male, 15 to 30 something, introverted to the point of social ineptitude, and grew up obsessing over whatever videogames I came across-- somewhat to the chagrin of my parents. I have about 9-10 gigs (yes, GIGS) of hard drive space devoted to game music, original soundtracks and remixes alike (Much love for OCRemix ). I've logged many, many hours into World of Warcraft, though I cancelled my account and have been "clean" for nearly a year now. I am a moderately slavering Nintendo fan because-- let's be fair... they were easily the biggest influence in my formative years. Because of this, it is my belief that Smash Bros. Brawl was created specifically for me. The fact that the rest of you may enjoy it is merely coincidence.

I am something of a stickler for both grammar and punctuation, and the use of "LOL" and its truncated ilk sometimes causes me to cringe. Fairly warned be ye, says I.



I work and go to college part time, which is a strain on both my finances and my free time. As such, my gaming collection isn't as up-to-date as I'd like. Somehow, I have managed to obtain a Wii, PS3, and a 360. My favorite console, however, is still the original NES My brother and I bought ourselves 20-odd years ago. I'm almost never more than 50 feet from my DS. I just replaced my computer's innards, and have found that I have more PC games to catch up on than time to do it in. I manage to stay current on most games by visiting friends with other systems, and the ancient art of borrowing. And that's a nice thing about games... if you miss `em you can go back to them years later and they're just the same as they ever were.

I tend to be more of a lurker than a contributor, but if I see something I think is particularly humorous or worthy, I do enjoy sharing.

E-mail: Qalamari {at} gmail {dot} com. Infrequently checked, you're better off sending me a PM on the site.

PSN: Qalamari. Haven't been on there much lately. =/

Steam: Qalamari. Steam sales are craaaazy! Always willing to help with Hat Fortress 2.

Xbox 360: Qalamari. You may be picking up on a theme here by now.

I love to see new Miis. If you add my Wii code, let me know! 5015-7633-5088-2932

Brawl code: 1289-7907-1240. PM me if you add it so I can hit you back.

Mario Kart Wii code: 0731-5535-7924. Same deal.

I had Pokemon codes here once, but I don't think anybody cared.
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Steam: Qalamari
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PSN: Qalamari
Mii: 5015 7633 5088 2932
Gamertag: Qalamari
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PAX 2010: Megastryke and GamesAreArt's mystical journey
Qalamari | 11:31 PM on 09.10.2010 13 comments


I'm not sure why, but I've been having a terrible time trying to get this blog written. Maybe it's the fact that I haven't done a non-recap blog since February (Lord, has it been that long?). Maybe it's the mental block, knowing that once my post is done, PAX will be well and truly over to me for another year. I suspect it's some combination of the two, but no amount of procrastination will allow me to turn back time; if anything quite the reverse is true.

This might be one of those situations where words aren't necessary, though. Well, maybe not so many words as I usually use. This will be a photo-heavy blog, so be fairly warned, Slowskys.

The choice of whose avatar to take with me to PAX was complicated, and required deliberation over several factors. OK, maybe not several, but a couple. Ok. One. One factor each. You happy now?


Tony Ponce (AKA Megastryke) made a truly amazing blog earlier this year wherein he took to PAX east the avatars of both myself and the lovely Beyamor (and I am justified in saying lovely, for reasons that might best go unspoken). For this reason, he was an obvious choice to bring along.


GamesAreArt is a little trickier to pin down. It was clear from this tweet that he desperately wanted someone to take him along, but was too cool to ask for it directly.

I can respect that. Also, he's a fellow recapper and general stand-up gentleman, as far as I can tell. Also also, his avatar is adorable.

We began our journey at the asscrack of dawn. (Alternate nomenclature: the taint of time.) I am no stranger to being awake at 4:00 in the morning, but I generally approach it as a good time to start thinking about going to bed rather than beginning my day. It is for this reason that I have very little to show on the way to Seattle.


Here you can see GamesAreArt by the windowzzzzzzzz...


When we finally did get off the ground, we launched in tandem with this Virginal plane. I certainly wouldn't make any jokes about that.


I've been to PAX for four years running now but I still don't know exactly how to describe the feeling you get knowing you're surrounded by literally thousands of like-minded people. It's lovely to have one weekend a year where geekiness is an asset rather than a liability.


Swag bag in hand and shell on head, the three of us went off exploring the show floor. The first thing to catch our eyes was this ugly customer. I certainly wouldn't want to run afoul of him, but my 2-dimensional compatriots were much braver. I believe I heard GamesAreArt threatening to give him a paper cut should he try anything funny.


The boys were impressed by this life-size TRON lightcycle, but both were too polite to deny the other the honor of the first ride. In the end, neither of them ended up on it.


Telltale had a pretty strong showing, promoting their upcoming Back to the Future game all over the place.


The boys had less trouble deciding who would get to try out Doc Brown's custom DeLorean. Sadly, the car had a speed-regulating throttle and could not be driven faster than 87 MPH.


It's hard to get angry when you're at PAX, even when a giant sign tells you to. GamesAreArt is an iconoclast, and he does a headstand just to tell the Man he won't be havin' any of that, thank you very much.


Tired by this acrobatic display, the lads decided to take a rest by this oddly-shaped pile of rocks.


But wait! That's no ordinary pile of rocks! In fact, it almost looks like...


A D-d-d-d-d-DINOSAUR? And it seems to be emanating a high amount of radiation! Holy eff, guys, let's get out of here right now!


Having left the show floor, it was time to meet up with some of our fellows. Like, about 200 of them, by my estimation. Our first attempt was very nearly lost to the ages thanks to an Enforcer who clearly liked the smell of his own farts. Still, you can see me and my charges over on the left hand side, near the middle.


Since we weren't sure the first photo had been taken (seriously, that guy was a jackass) we all moved outside. I hope I didn't block anyone with the guys, but you can see us up near the front and center. Behind Funky and DOMO, if that helps.


It was a little chaotic, but I think I gave my charges equal representation, at least.


After the big group picture, it was time to get some more, shall we say intimate photos. First up was the picture reserved for Cblog Recappers. Both of the guys qualified, so they demanded to be included.


Before everyone went their separate ways, we managed to get some pictures with several of the editors.
CrimeMinister and I double-teamed Chad for this shot. GamesAreArt and MegaStryke were happy to share Chad with UsedTabe, Manic Maverick, and LawofThermalDynamics. Chad looks happy too, but you never know with Chad. It's kinda like this.


After the sunniness that is Chad, we cleansed our palate with the abrasiveness you can only get from one James Tiberius Sterling, in full Jimquisition regalia.


Dale North and Conrad Zimmerman were surprised to learn that they both had a twin in another part of the country.


Jonathan Holmes recently mugged Zoey for her sweatshirt, but he took a couple of moments to pose with both of my boys.


Speaking of mugging... this picture is definitely one of my favorites.


What kind of person would I be if I went to PAX and didn't get a picture of our benevolent robot dictator? A lousy one. And I am. But I did manage a picture of the man behind the helmet, at least.


I managed to catch former editor Anthony Burch and his lovely wife just after the Gametrailers panel. Funny thing-- Papa Burch was standing right next to them, but he doesn't appear in my picture. My only theory is that the density of his awesomeness bent the light around him, preventing him from leaving a trace in my photographs.


Mikey and Stella were at the Gametrailers panel, too. So cute!


Much later, we caught up with the rest of Destructoid at the Rock Bottom Bar, and here I got a few shots with various members of the community. First up, I caught a shark.


A rather hairy shark, as sharks go.


Elsa was a little camera shy, so I promised I'd make some slight alterations to her photo. Nothing major, not in the least! Frankly, I cannot imagine why she'd want to cover up that face, as she is a damned handsome woman.


I got one more group shot with Funky, Tactix and JohnnyViral, and all of our adopted avatars. I've said it before and I'll say it again: Xzyliac is a very pretty girl.


ScottyG and WalkYourPath (originator of the Adopt-an-avatar program) shared an adult beverage with the guys before we broke for the evening.


Before we knew it, it was time to leave. I packed the guys safely away in my suitcase, little realizing the horrors that would await me when we touched down.


Uh oh. These guys have been stuck in my suitcase for the better part of a day, smashed up against my dirty clothes... particularly the stanky socks, rich with the sweat of three days tromping around downtown Seattle. I sure hope they're all ri...


Well, dammit. Sorry guys. I hope your last vacation was as much fun for you as it was for me.



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12 comments | showing # 1 to 12
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Qalamari's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/11/2010 03:23
Qalamari
BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE!

Stay tuned to this blog to see what I got for Sentry, as well as my personal impressions of the show and some sweet, sweet cosplay pics. Coming soon!*

*soon is a relative term, you know.
Sentry's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/11/2010 05:20
Sentry
You, sir, are both a sweetheart and a laugh riot.
Xzyliac's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/11/2010 10:09
Xzyliac
I'm gonna miss those guys.
Sean Carey's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/11/2010 10:33
Sean Carey
Great adoption post! I give it 11/10 Suzanne Somers.
LawofThermalDynamics's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/11/2010 11:33
LawofThermalDynamics
Oh My God! There I am!!!!

Great stuff, Games are Art and Tony Ponce will be missed.
Occams electric toothbrush's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/11/2010 11:53
Occams electric toothbrush
What impeccable facial hair you have. Seriously, kudos to your manicuring skills. And this post was just lovely. I really should attend one of these events.
Elsa's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/11/2010 14:03
Elsa
Qalamari... I LOVE YOU!!!

I do take terrible photos... but I just absolutely love this one!
Wow... you took some incredible photos - your pics for some reason actually sum up the PAX experience for me - everything from the people to the showroom floor sights - it's all there.

Your avatars had a WONDERFUL time! Hilarious blog!
Fapped!!
Beyamor's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/11/2010 16:53
Beyamor
To recap, our child's grandfather is now his adopted brother. Yes.

<3
Tony Ponce's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/11/2010 17:47
Tony Ponce
AHHHHH HA HA HA HA HA HA! AHH HA HA HA HAAAAAAAAAAAA!
Joanna Mueller's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/11/2010 20:32
Joanna Mueller
Looks like a great time was had by all, nice work!
Funktastic's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/12/2010 02:51
Funktastic
Great job mate! I also like the mini-shout outs! DOMO was very pleased! ^_^ Also, I like how I totally wrote on WRY GUY . . . <_< . . . >_> . . . hahaha!
maha's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/15/2010 04:57
maha
The State Department on Wednesday afternoon will host the first ever U.S. government-sponsored Technology, Entertainment, Design, or TED, event. Speakers include social-media analyst Clay Shirky, author of Here Comes Everybody; philanthropist Jacqueline Novogratz, CEO of the Acumen Fund; futurist Stewart Brand, author of the Whole Earth Catalog; economist Paul Collier, author of The Bottom Billion; and data visionary Hans Rosling, Karolinska Institutet Professor of International Health.... Video from the State Department event will be posted on the TED Web site,
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