It seems like lately a lot of people have been dealing with vast quantities of unpleasantness, and only recently has the collective fortune of the unlucky taken a turn for the better. I've had my own rashers of shit to contend with resulting in a lingering despondency that I couldn't seem to shake.

Yet in my bleakest hour, when it seemed like all hope had been lost, a hero appeared on the horizon. A hero in a robot helmet, flanked by a similarly incredible female compatriot toting a withering glance that causes the immediate and irreversible decomposition of the manhood of those unlucky enough to be caught in its crosshairs. I hear she also has laser nipples, though that remains unconfirmed at the time of this posting.

You see, last night I received a surprise package. This weird little lumpy envelope that I would've suspected was an incendiary device or space wasps bio-engineered...TO KILL, had it not been addressed from Colette and Niero. To be perfectly honest I was a little puzzled. I mean, we'd agreed that my hush money for keeping Chad and Colette's growing army of mutant flipper babies a secret (Chad is half-dolphin you see) would come at the beginning of the month.

But not being one to turn down free stuff, even if it's a package of murderous space wasps, I tore into my mystery package.

What the deuce...



OH SHIT! MOTHERFUCKIN' SURPRISE QUAIL Y'ALL!



In my hour of need, Colette and Niero stepped up and made what was rapidly turning into a pretty horrible episode A FUCKING AMAZING QUAIL DANCE PARTY!

I love Destructoid, I love Colette, and I love Niero in ways that are almost certainly violations of my conditional parole. This place is fantastic, and all of you (even the ones who don't send me random quails) rock out with your respective cocks out.