I pretty much hate this website. - Destructoid

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Naw, naw, just playin yo!

For serious reals though, I thought I'd take a minute to urge all you would be bloggers to look deep into your unrefined steaming masses and try to come up with headlines that either, a. make a fucklick (new word I just made up) of sense, or b. strive for some untold precipice of creative writing like, "There is no god". See, that's powerful shit. I would read that even if it was to show off some news piece about a MarioBros. inspired cock ring that you had absolutely nothing to do with.
It might be totally unrelated to your blog, but hell it's a lot more interesting than, "Smash brothers has a lot of BLUE in it!". You can do better, hell they let Jim Sterling write for this site and he's obviously retarded (as far as opinions concerning Mass Effect and Koei games go).

Here's a few suggestions for your next blog sure to draw readership and a sweating bevy of comments.

"MGS still makes no sense!"

"Next gen Metroid games suck!"

"Even though the fucker breaks, the 360 is the best console ever!"

"I just pooped my hair out!"

"Smash Brothers is the only reason to buy a Wii!"

"Only gay niggas play gaylo!"

"This is not a RickRoll!"

"The whole I'm a shark thing is really not funny at all!"

"The cake is the way, the truth, and the life. No man can come before the cake but for the grace of cake!"


"White people are better at math than black people, and asian people are white as well!"

"Hitler and the Nazis are the best thing to ever happen to video games. Admit it already!"

"Super Mario Galaxy!? Grow the fuck up!"

"Turbo-grafx 16 was the better system!"

"Also, cocks? I don't get it."

"Anyone ever hear about the Dreamcast? A retrospective of the worst console ever made."

"I'm so fucking jealous of the guy that wrote the portal theme - Or - I'll never be that good."

"I'm all about retro gaming and I'm 17!"

"Dynasty warriors sucks!"

"I've never been with a woman."

"I've just been with a man!"

I could go on, but I hope this gives you some insight into crafting headlines that rock the soul and challenge the very foundation of your reader.

Before posting comments of your own I would suggest reupping the minutes on your irony phone and topping off the contents of your sarcasm tank. It's a long haul to lulz and them roads is paved with flames.

I'm the best writer ever. Fuck you. Gimme beer now.

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