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PvPPY avatar 5:33 PM on 05.05.2010  (server time)
True Story: where my PSN tag comes from

King Boah is a character from a table top RPG campaign I played in. I like him, he's maybe my favorite imaginary person.

me: "Holy crap, dude you made archmage a character perk? I am so rolling an ogre and giving him that."
DM: q.q
me: "The only question is can I make a rock so heavy I can't lift it, after buffs. This dude is awesome."

My plan for fighting was great fun... talk a lot of smack, get stuck attacking last, and (unless I'm already out) go so hard on the first turn that the start of round two involves a lot of squinting through clouds of billowing smoke trying to take a head count. That usually gives me time to improvise a plan for round two.

Personality-wise I just imagined a really big, fat obnoxious tourist in a surf shirt. He didn't have a volume below shout, and he didn't have punctuation besides loudly inhaling before he could shout some more. If I couldn't think of anything to say I'd just give a huge fake laugh. Victims of his rants and monologues and diatribes (anything but a conversation, unless you were really good at squeezing words in while I breathed) were usually assailed with all manner of handshakes, shoulder claps, back-slapping, and bro grabs. Acting like that for a couple hours every saturday gave me a really positive attitude about everything in the game. Maybe it was the hyperventilating. Boah thought everyone he wasn't being paid to beat up was just awesome and just wanted to be friends as long as you didn't expect him to share any of his food (he needed that) or hoarded loot/junk (he realized his trash might be someone else's treasure, so it was his treasure too). It didn't matter who he was talking to or what they thought of him, everybody got the same... bums, knights, kings. Watching the usual "mysterious introvert" emo characters with traumatic pasts try and interact with him was hilarious.

The King part was because he always said he was the king of a tropical island that nobody even believed existed. He would always reminisce at the most inappropriate times about stuff like hot springs and hunting and perfect weather and the rainforest plants and making totally impossible stuff out of trees he had pulled down. There was a tribe living there but Boah probably washed up on shore or something as a baby so he didn't really have anything to do with them. As a society their only export was King Boah much to everyone's relief. His big quest was to travel the world telling everyone about how great his island kingdom was, figure out how to get back there again, and bring home a whole bunch of friends to share it with. Later on a demigod broke his heart by saying she had destroyed the island with a volcanic eruption. I like to think it was an easy lie because he had no idea where it was to go and check.

King Boah's primary exports were whoop-ass and handicrafts. The former needs no explanation for a RPG character. He made papier mache masks of his face to celebrate some festival he'd made up for his island one day, and limited-edition gold masks from beating fancy plates really thin and trying to pull them over his face. It turned into a running gag, how he would try making masks from really improbable stuff like brick, marble, adamantium ingots, etc. He threatened to make a mask out of some villain's head once. His biggest project though was making a golden sail for his boat. When he put it on of course the massive metal sheet flipped his primitive wooden boat and dragged it to the bottom of the bay, but it was always something he would go back and try to get right.

... that's why you never really needed that magical hat, the power was inside you all along! The aristocrats. I dunno if anyone's even going to read this far.

BTW I'll go back and add pictures later.

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