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About Me
[img]http://avatar.xboxlive.com/avatar/swift robot/avatar-body.png[/img]

Here are the videogaming thoughts of some guy who probably should be working right now. I blog sometimes and comment often. I'd like a job involving videogames somehow but I'm not quite there yet, so in the meantime I just try to enjoy life and play a lot of games.


I wish this was me in my free time.

Frontpaged Articles
I the Author: Regret and Redemption in the Wasteland

[img]http://card.mygamercard.net/swift robot.png[/img]
Everywhere else on the internet I go by the name Swift Robot, this includes Xbox Live so add me if ya like.


I has a PS3 now, my fanboy days are over. Woo for equal opportunity :D




GutsDozer, meet the Mad Cat MkII.

Robots, video games, metal, pron, djent, awesomeness and ultraviolence FTW.
I also love me some fighting games too.


I'm also part of a podcast, a very unofficial one. Made by Aussies for Aussie Dtoiders and other Dtoiders who like to listen to Aussie Dtoiders. Check that shit out.

Oh and fire.... fire is good.
Gamer Profile
3DS friend code:
Steam: Swift Robot
Battle:
PSN: Swift_Robot
Mii:
Gamertag: Swift Robot
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This achievement has meant nothing.
Puppy Licks | 8:53 PM on 07.01.2009 27 comments




DanMazkin is Online

Chat invite sent

...

...

Come on, come on...

...

Page sent

...

fuck...

*Sniff*

...

Friends List

DanMazkin - At dashboard, away for 15 minutes

...

fuck fuck fuck!

...

Messages

Record message

DanMazkin, *sniff* it's Robot, Swift Robot.
You're on my friends list so I think you should know... I've whored a lot of achievement games. Some shovelware from the rental store uptown uh.. some downloadables maybe 5 or 10..
um that Yaris game I found on LIVE Arcade. I left it on my hard drive along with some doritos game.

I played King Kong, my old game, with 1000 achievement points, and some game.... some old casual game with cars last week! I beat another game with a cheat book...

*sobbing*

I had to, I almost didn't get the points, *sniff* and something else there I can't remember maybe a movie game... but that's beat too.

And uh Avatar. I played Avatar for five minutes straight, the disc is collecting dust on a shelf in a preowned store! I don't want to leave anything out here... I guess I've played maybe 20 shovelware games, maybe 40. I have youtube videos of a lot of it, *sniff* uh some of the guys on my friends list have seen the videos. *sniff* I even, um....

*gagging*

I bought a hacked controller... and I tried to cheat a little.

*sniff*

Tonight I, uh, *laughter* I just had to get a LOT of achievements! And um... I'm not sure I'm gonna get away with it, this time. So I mean.... ah, I guess I'm a pretty uh... I mean I guess I'm a pretty cool guy....

So, if you get back tomorrow... I may show up on the forums, so... you know...
keep your eyes open.

Message sent

*Deep sigh*

...

...

Game Download Complete - Space Giraffe



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27 comments | showing # 1 to 27
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slayer the player's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/01/2009 22:09
slayer the player
omg i love this so much im so tempted to use the oppening monolouge as my intro, just wow at first i thought you where doing bob sagat from half baked just waiting for i sucked some dick for points but wow +1 internets to you
Monodi's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/01/2009 22:11
Monodi
PuppyLicks?

PuppyLicks!?

PUPPYLIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICKKSS!!!!
Tavendale's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/01/2009 22:13
Tavendale
There, there.

*firm hug, pat on the back*

It'll be okay.

*sway gently*

Shhh, shh, you're alright.

*slowly our lips meet and my han... WAIT WHAT!?*
slayer the player's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/01/2009 22:20
slayer the player
@puppy licks

has this confestion ment anything?
also THIS IS NOT AN EXIT
Qraze's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/01/2009 22:29
Qraze
? i think whatever that was flew right over my head. yeah, i don't get it and i don't really care.
Naim Master's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/01/2009 22:39
Naim Master
Puppy Licks casts Confusion on Destructoid at the cost of 5 reputation !
slayer the player's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/01/2009 22:39
slayer the player
@qraze i think im the only one who got it and it was amazing
king3vbo's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/01/2009 22:45
king3vbo
wat
Naim Master's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/01/2009 22:46
Naim Master
OMGOMGOMG , I GOT IT ! It's a slut/drugged confession style mail because he just realized he's a trophy whore ! CLEVER ! Puppy Licks , you won one interwebz !9seriously , that was awesome)
slayer the player's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/01/2009 22:51
slayer the player
i still dont think anyone knows where this is from
DanMazkin's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/01/2009 23:12
DanMazkin
I tea-bagged Paul_Allen, with my balls, in the face. His body is dissolving in Warthog in High Ground.
Puppy Licks's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/01/2009 23:14
Puppy Licks
Ehhh it was just a bit of fun, I changed the title and added a header image to make it a lot less vague now. Hope it helps.

Cheers to everyone who got it early.
TheCleaningGuy's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/01/2009 23:21
TheCleaningGuy
coincidentally, I just added you on PSN.
Also, check your goddamn Refused Classification email!
DanMazkin's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/01/2009 23:21
DanMazkin
Naim Master, I've seen you jump the gun here on Dtoid a few times now and start trying to flame people for their blogs, bet each time all you've managed to do is make yourself look like more of an ass. This blog is genuinely fucking hilarious and if you don't get the reference then that's your own damn fault.

I know you're trying to fit in with all the cool kids here, but try to make an effort to know what you're talking about before getting up on your high horse, otherwise you'll just end up with more shit on your face.
slayer the player's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/01/2009 23:24
slayer the player
@puppy licks
image is win too, i want that achievement
smurfee mcgee's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/02/2009 00:30
smurfee mcgee
OMG amazing. just watched that shiz.
EternalDeathSlayer's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/02/2009 00:44
EternalDeathSlayer
This was fucking beautiful.
Naim Master's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/02/2009 02:22
Naim Master
@danmazkin
I wasn't being sarcastic :(
Zippyduda's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/02/2009 10:07
Zippyduda
@Dan, what, the, fuck? He was just making a funny comment, leave him alone, it was funny :)

He didn't provoke that response from you at all. Anyway, I don't get this, but it made me laugh and confused non the less :]
seltzermx's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/02/2009 10:25
seltzermx
Bateman? Is that you?
Holyetheline's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/02/2009 11:01
Holyetheline
NOOOOO! Stay away from Space Giraffe!
DanMazkin's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/02/2009 18:02
DanMazkin
@Naim Master & ZippyDuda:
Fuck, now who's got shit on his face :/
On first reading it definitely seemed like extreme sarcasm to me, but in the end i pretty much did exactly what i was telling you not to do and made an ass of myself instead.

Consider this an official apology and retraction of my original douche-like comment. Sorry dude.
Zippyduda's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/02/2009 18:42
Zippyduda
Thanks Dan :) Much appreicated and glad you took the time to reply :]
Naim Master's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/02/2009 20:56
Naim Master
@danmakzin
No problem , it's my fault for the lack of emoticons ! And great atitude right there , I wish I was half as nice as you :) .
Puppy Licks's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/02/2009 22:41
Puppy Licks
awwwww, everybody's getting along.

now if you'll excuse me, I have to return some videogames...
Samuel Dillinger's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/05/2009 23:20
Samuel Dillinger
you sir, are a fucken god!

"Is that a raincoat?"

"Yes, yes it is"

*AXE TO THE HEAD*
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