As I said in my previous post which was buried in a deluge of "THIS IS NOT THE POWERHOUSE COMPUTER I LIKELY WON'T WIN" posts, I was fixing to try out Chains Of Olympus. I have two gaming platforms of choice, and only one is sufficient to play the latest games for it (being a console and all), so far be it from me to ignore triple-A titles for it that aren't Final Fantasy games. And this triple-A title promises violence, gore, and a sex minigame. What more could I ask for?

PERHAPS MORE VIOLENCE AND LESS GOD DAMN STATUE PUSHING.

I mean, jesus. The first level is nonstop awesome with only a small smattering of puzzles, and one of them incorporated a bloody corpse, instantly redeeming it of all faults. This was my first experience with any God Of War game, and I was impressed. The combat was top-notch and I loved the vaguely-rhythm-game-esque interactive cutscenes when finishing off bosses and large enemies. First level ends, I can't wait to keep playing.

Then it all went to hell. With each passing level, the amount of combat lessened and the number of push this/turn this/press this/create an inexplicable magic laser-square puzzles ramped up more and more. The interactive-cutscene kills became optional, making it so I had to be careful not to fight too well or I'd miss the interesting death animations. I quit playing during the "jump just right or restart the level" opening of the Hades stage.

I don't understand why you would fuck up fantastic hack-and-slash gameplay with tedious puzzles. I just can't wrap my mind around that.