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Promagnum's blog

10:36 PM on 02.07.2008

Jesus christ you people suck!

Seriously, you have nothing interesting to talk about. When the fuck did destructoid become the official home for Spam-happy, useless blog posting, self-important, trendy, portrait of myself in the act of subterfuge to-look-cool in my avatar fuck-wats?!
ok the last one may have gone over a lot of your heads, but for fucks sake that's what I'm talking about.
I could give a fuck about your top 10 moments of orgasmic self indulgence while playing the game you FUCKING PLAY TO MUCH...I don't. Use the forum for that shit!

I also don't give a shit if you're trying to get in good with the moderators either, fuck off, they don't care about you nearly as much as they want your praise so - stop telling them thank you or disputing them in more useless fucking blogs, like a bunch of foul trying to get attention for more milk

Use the damn private message feature, it's there for a goddamn reason.

If you're going to talk about something, post something interesting!
Give us something worth reading, prove to us that what you're writing is post worthy and deserves acknowledgement from the community or go the FUCK AWAY cause your shitty posts are flooding away the interesting ones...

Let me give you an example of what the last month of blogs have been, ready?

A funnel of shit - READ ON - PLEASE CLICK THIS BLOG!

Watch me as I talk about how fucking great this game is - though I've played no other.

Jack Thompson did this, oh no, I have no fucking life.

This game is out NOW - even though you already fucking KNOW that!

What I'm doing right now! - 10 ways to live with your parents till you're fucking 45.

Check out what I just stole from another site that ORIGINALLY FUCKING POSTED IT!

Goddamnit, this site is turning into a goddamn myspace blog for gaming rejects...go back to myspace, SHOOO, SHOOO MOTHER FUCKER - GO! LISTEN TO YOUR IPOD AND THE SHINS WHILE YOU CONTINUE TO SUCK AT LIFE.

Just stay the fuck off destructoid.

Thank you!

Now if I can get serious for a moment. Something has happened that I think most decent human beings can understand, those with logic anyway. Something terrible, and without reason, with no rational explanation what so ever, a catastrophic, horrid, in fact putrid at times - disaster.
I'm talking about the 15 million stray dogs and cats out there that need homes. Please, do all that you can, regardless of this act of sentimentality, give all you can.

From the bottom of my heart God Bless and Happy Valentines day.

P.S. Stop inviting me to be your friend - I WILL FUCKING DELETE IT@!   read

1:25 AM on 01.15.2008

Response: My God, the conflict!

This should make you feel better.

*wikky-wikky-wik!   read

5:38 PM on 12.20.2007

Destructoid's play TF2?


I didn't realize so many Destructoider's play Team Fortress 2...
Though I've yet to put my finger on who exactly he is, he deffinitely has the pick-up lines for the chicks and I'd like him to teach me some of his moves.   read

3:16 AM on 11.21.2007

Fuck off God I don't want to start a blog.

What could I possibly write about?
How much it sucks not being able to find work doing what you love?
How much the kids now in days are so self-centered, pretentious, egominiacal cock-suckers with the attention span of a fly on shit?
Or maybe how those greedy, over-fortunate and over-paid writers are complaining about not being able to add even more money to their daily cash bath?
Or how the games of today really, really, really fucking blow, and how I've resorted to finding mods for games I played 8 years ago to help me cope?
How my Lacie 500GB harddrive went bad after only a year of use and I lost almost all the one of a kind footage to make Squarepusher's music video?
How I just spent over 2 grand to build my new comp only to have nothing to play with the exception of Solitaire at 200fps?
How nothing is sacred anymore?
How for some reason every now in then at least once a month my ballsack seems to be extremely big and saggy for no apparent reason other then making teabagging her easier?
Maybe how everything is so over glorified and phony?
How faggots seem to have nothing better to do then take photos of themselves with their $800 cell-phone, doing absolutely nothing but failing to look cool in their avatars?
How we live in a nanny-fascist run country?
Or how I nearly backhanded this bitch for trying to tell me not to smoke?
Or maybe how my car window is fucked up?
Or possibly how you're just a shitty php script and don't exist?

I guess I could post something, but I don't want too. Either way you got me to do it.

Pro 0, God 1.

P.S. I don't think you're funny either.   read

2:58 PM on 08.18.2007

The Dishwasher: Dead Samurai - Blood + Gore + Samurai = Me Buy.

Ska software were co-winners of the Dream-Build-Play indie Xbox 360 development contest (I didn't make that name up) with their indie title; The Dishwasher: Dead Samurai. What this means is their game stands a strong chance of making it to Xbox Live Arcade. Seeing that this game is 100% original content and not an old school arcade port with the good ol'upscale, I'll surely be keeping an eye for it, hell it may even be worth spending $12 for.
They shared the win with Blazing Birds, another original arcade game.

The Dishwasher: Dead Samurai:
[embed]38982:1103[/embed]   read

5:06 PM on 07.29.2007

My GTA IV WKTT Radio Comments

I just called in to WKTT (for GTA4) to give my advice to all those in Liberty City. I wanted to document what I said some place so that if it does somehow manage to get in-game or even re-recorded by good voice over actors, that I could look back on it and compare. You know, all that vanity whore shit I see so much of now in days. So pay no attention to this.

Yes, WKTT!, I'm a first time caller, long time listener...
I recently noticed that the IQ level of your listeners has dropped dramatically, I mean its fucking terrible!
A monkey could make more sense about the problems going on in this city than 50% of your retarded callers! I mean what the fuck is going on here!
No seriously, I own a monkey...screen your callers.

Ad Irony
What is with all these conveniently placed voice overs in video games now in days!? Have you noticed this? I have. It needs to stop, this is madness!

Some idiot just stole my car! He was wearing a black jacket and, this is 911 right? Oh dear...


WKTT # 212.360.2368 (NY,NY)
Have to state you name, then spell out your name then give the message(s).   read

3:26 PM on 07.15.2007

World in Conflict - the max!

Been playing this for about 3 or 4 days now, and I just want to give some of you a run down if you're thinking about trying it. Originally Massive or Sierra bought into one of those shady deals to help keep Satan ( around for a year or two longer. Keys for the open beta were only released to those sad bastards who subscribed to one of fileplanet's Give me money or eat these ads plans.
To my surprise I received a key emailed directly to me from Massive, which actually isn't surprising as I signed up for the beta through their site 2 weeks ago, like any other monkey would do if they took 2 minutes out of their boring lives.
So here is the gist of it.
It's a RTS in a non-RTS style setup. What the hell does that mean?
Well I'm going to try and explain it, in the shortest length possible, trust me it seems much more complicated than it actually is:

- Its US, NATO (not in beta), and Mother Russia - The cold war, at last!

- It's gods eye 3D view - Top down, controlling your AI and killing them, over...and over.

- There are no civilians - This means, no gathering resources, no building, no custom fortifying, and no "Pro get your spy dog the fuck out of my camp!" as everyone can see you at all times.

- 8 vs 8 Multi-player - Dedicated servers allowing you to join and leave whenever you want instead of the direct connect, or player hosted servers, or 'Waiting for D_hasselhoff666...', or the latter.

- High end graphics - And steep beta minimum system requirements, you pretty much need a rig and a half to run this at even medium settings. There is a in-game benchmarking tool to test your settings. I built this rig over a year and a half ago so its a tad behind the times, yet I have no problem running it at modified settings @ 1440x900 (16:10);

Not the greatest detail, but better than most.

- 4 Classes - Infantry, Support, Armor, and Air. good in theory, but each class has a specific weakness (some more than one) that helps keep the game in 'balanced' play. Within the classes (in the beta) are a total of 7 to 8 sub-classes or units that you may purchase for team resource and have air-dropped in for your disposal. There is not a 'standard' set amount of units you start off with, meaning it is up to you to pick out which combination of units you want to use.
For instance; as Support class, I can choose between, Heavy AA (anti-air), Medium AA, Repair Vehicle, Heavy Artillery (big long ranged weapon, slow and easy to kill), Medium Artillery, or two Transport Vehicles.
Now depending on the situation I may go with a Heavy/Medium AA combination, or if the enemy (Yankee scum) are a bunch of Air whores I'll simply go full Anti-Air. Each class is like this.

- Capture Points - Much like every FPS on the market (including mods) this game has CPs that require capturing to dominate the map. The more CPs you capture the more of the map you own and thus the more you have to defend, capturing these points is the main objective of the maps. They also have (quite useless) fortifications that construct themselves when you sit on them for a long time allow you to have a awesome squad of 3 units. They also give you kill points so you can call in reinforcements from the heavens above to mutilate your enemy and...sometimes your team as well.

- Kill points & radio commands - Otherwise know as, 'I kill and capture stuff, you give me points, in-turn I use these points to call down the thunder on your village.'
Which is extremely useful in certain situations, unfortunately it is always a certain situation. There always seems to be one stingy guy saving all his points and waiting on the
perfect nuke drop.

- 5 units at a time - Wait, what?
Apparently to either save resources or to simply keep your head from exploding. Regardless of your team resource in the top right corner, you can only have 5 chosen units out at a time. This of course excludes the called in Airborne reinforcement troops you can get, but they're push over's anyhow so yeah, 5.

- WASD Camera/Movement & Mouse controls - W, forward, A, left, S, backward, D right, mouse wheel raises you up & down, mouse wheel button, free look and that's right, no real shortcuts in this game. The down side to this is often I find myself wanting a shortcut for specific unit commands other than their special ability. The special ability shortcut tends to be aggravating because you must individually select the enemy you want to use it on rather than it automatically launching against those you are fighting. Now this may sound smart, and it would be, but the special skills have limits to them such as; Medium Unit can only use skill vs. same unit type, but Heavy can use it against anything. And the fact that the objects unless zoomed in on them like an extreme close up, aren't the easiest thing to select in a crunch. But at least all units have these abilities, I guess.

- Basic Interface - The ui, like the game, is relatively simple to understand, though being a different approach to a strategy game some may feel awkward at first but it passes in time.
Here is the simple UI layout:

So in a nutshell, and though I'm leaving the best part out which is Team work, this is basically left up to you and your team. You will find out soon enough that if the teams are lop sided, your 5 units don't stand a chance. Or if your entire team wants to go air and the other team does not, you're in trouble. Basically, teamwork all has to do with balancing out who plays what class and what is needed to be effective in defending/attacking them and winning the map (and destroying all the towns in the process). There is also a clan & ranking system with a leaderboard for those ridiculously competitive anal folks such as myself.

Basic Rundown of Can's and Can'ts
Can - Destroy stuff
Can - Play as 4 classes
Can - Play as a team
Can - Continuously Spawn
Can - Hide Infantry in buildings
Can - Call in special attack reinforcements multiple times
Can - Leave and Join any server at any time
Can - Create a Clan/Guild/Squad
Can - Chat & use VOIP
Can - Be impressed by the graphics

Can't - Build
Can't - Gather resources
Can't - Use shortcuts effectively
Can't - Hide Infantry in buildings (enemy is seen at all times on mini-map)
Can't - Have more than 5 units at a time (with exception of airborne infantry)
Can't - Figure out how to level up
Can't - Level up

If you want to sign up for the beta that is taking place through July, go here:   read

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