I made a big mistake when I thought it would make sense to be "that guy." When everyone else was out buying Apple products and PlayStations, I thought why not try something different and be the Microsoft fan? I'll goddamn tell you why.
My first disappointment was the Xbox 360. When I bought the thing in 2006, it was the obvious choice- Sony still hadn't ironed out all the bugs in the PS3's firmware and nobody, not even Sony, knew how to program the goddamn thing. Not only that, but at $599 for a basic model, you had to be crazy not to buy an Xbox 360 for $200 less. Sure, it cost money to play online, but at least playing online worked- PlayStation Network had yet to materialize at this point. Some of you may even remember your PS3 games asking you to sign in to Xfire to play online. As the years went on though, Sony continually improved their product while Microsoft made 2 major revisions to the Xbox 360's dashboard, the first of which slowed it considerably and made it borderline unusuable, and the second of which made the first revision seem like a good idea by comparison. Not only that, but Sony ended up being the far more developer friendly of the 2 and PS3 ended up getting far more games than the Xbox 360. Big deal though, that's standard console war happenings. This kind of thing happens every generation. To really earn my ire, Microsoft had to fuck up big time with a product that I use every day.
Enter the Zune. Why did I buy this thing? The first generation of this product was abysmal to the point where, when I bought the 2nd generation device, they had completely re-done the product line from the bottom up. The players, the software, and the marketplace bore no resemblance to their original form because that was a turd that could not be polished. Everything seemed fine though, until Microsoft's vicious DRM decided to stop letting me listen to music that I own because I listen to those songs too frequently. Isn't that the point of a media player? I might be wrong about this, but I'm pretty sure you're supposed to be able to listen to your favorite songs whenever you want, not whenever some draconian DRM program says you should. These songs weren't all Zune Pass downloads either, mind you- many of them came off of CDs that I own. So yeah, fuck this thing. Oh, and here's the best part- The Zune media player program, which you absolutely have to use to sync your shitty device, will frequently forget what metadata belongs to what set of songs, so you'll have entire albums wrongly marked as being other albums. Fucking great, huh? I'd offer to sell it to you, but if you got this far, chances are you're not exactly excited about that prospect.
And then there's Windows 8. My God, what happened here? Sure, you can easily disable the Start screen by downloading a free program called Classic Shell (which also brings back the classic Start menu), but try explaining that to your typical John Q. Dipshit who thinks computers run on coffee and thinks "CPU" and "Hard Drive" are two words for the same thing (which would be the tower of a desktop PC). You might as well try explaining rocket science in Japanese to your dog. God, I hate stupid people. They sure love me though, I can't get rid of them. Every time someone farts near a computer I get a phone call asking if it can handle the resulting greenhouse gas emissions. Which brings me to my next point- The desktop operating system interface, as a whole, is largely the same as it was when the original Apple Macintosh came out in 1984, but now has layers of bad coding forced upon it that make it extremely difficult to use. I wonder how much more advanced our software would be if we didn't have a gigantic profit-driven corporation with a near monopoly and no incentive to advance driving the industry? Probably a lot. So again, fuck you Microsoft. Once SteamOS takes off I am done with you.