Before I start writing this post, I just want to say up front that there's no need to call the Waahmbulance. I'm not writing for sympathy, or a whole bunch of "cheer up, it'll get better, you're better off" comments because I know that's not what this community specializes in. What it does specialize in is humor, and I really need to laugh right now.
So my wife is leaving me. No it's not another guy (or another girl), no I wasn't an asshole, no it wasn't any of the usual dumb shit that a wife leaves a husband for. After being married for a little over 2 years, and being together for over 7, my wife decided that being married simply isn't for her. She didn't want to be responsible to anyone else in the world but herself, and she realized that her continuous denial of the fact that I actually worry about her when I don't hear from her hurt me quite a bit. She doesn't want to hurt me anymore, but she doesn't want to change either, so she decided it was time to leave, even though we still love each other very much.
The thing is, I had this beautiful half black, half Japanese gamer chick for a wife, and at the moment, I don't see how I'm possibly going to replace her with someone else. Early on when we were going out, I wasn't sure if she was exactly the right girl for me. I used to think it was because of the race difference (I'm just boring vanilla) but now I'm starting to wonder if I didn't know something was up way back then. All of my friends, mostly game developers, thought I had found the holy grail: a hot chick who likes games. And I felt that way as well, so I made it work. And to this day, I would have continued to make it work because of my "never say die" attitude towards marriage. She finally decided we could never be happy if we kept going the way we had.
When we first got married, she said she wanted the same things out of life that I did. She's finishing up her degree in Japanese language, and she had an opportunity, just a few months after our wedding, to go to Japan on an exchange program. It was 3.5 months, and I knew it would be hard as hell to live without her, but I thought what the heck, this was a once in a lifetime opportunity. I figured when she got back, the ball would roll back in my favor, and she would dedicate herself to the marriage. Instead, she was so inspired by living in Japan, that the ball actually rolled further in the opposite direction. She wants to spend a year there, and I just don't want the same thing. I want to plant some roots and build a family.
So now I find myself in the unenviable position (or is it?) of being single again at 32. I was never good at the bar game, and I think I come across way too much like a gamer geek when I write profiles on on-line dating sites, even though I'm just trying to be honest. I have more dimension than just my interest in games, but that's hard to communicate. Anyway, I'm slowly coming to grips with the fact that it's over, even though a very small part of me holds out hope that she will change her mind. I guess I'm just a Pac-Man who has lost his Mrs. Pac-Man, a Link without a Zelda, a Mario missing his Peach.
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yikes
I present to you ... the universal symbol for marriage ...
katie said it best
yikes
Fffffuuucckkkkk. Dude, sorry to hear that man.
Bummer dude.
Sorry to hear that man, I know it seems like theres nothing else for you, but there truly are plenty of fish in the sea, remember how you weren't sure if it was going to work out in the beginning with her, well your mind changed with time, so never say never to finding another woman, you never know what may come your way. Hope things work out.
lol @ both kitten pix. Thanks everybody.
I know you said you didn't want sympathy, but almost the exact same thing just happened to me with my girlfriend.
Together for almost a year and a half, then she went off to London for 5 months and came back with this idea that everything would be so different than it was when she left. I guess the lack of change sort of pushed her over the edge emotionally and we literally broke up a week ago today.
Sometimes it just sucks.
Damn dude, that really sucks. I'm sorry to hear that. In the spirit of your request, here are some kickass image macros:
Really sorry to hear it, man. There's nothing quite like losing the one you love. Hang in there.
That's too bad man, I'll be thinking/praying for you. I'm in talks with splitting up with my fiance right now actually. We each have made each other #2's in front of our respective #1's, whether that be ourselves or our beliefs... and I can't make her change, and she's living with a pretty different person than who she met (me). And it's tougher when the love is still there, ya know? Gotta have hope that it's for the best though, whether that's if you work things out and start over, or go on with your lives.
Waking up to reality hurts, but the truth hurts. That's the truth. Ouch.
Eating one of these will cheer you up:
@Rockvillian: I thank you seriously for what you wrote, so please don't take offense when I say that when I first read that, I thought to myself, "You took a dump in front of her while she peed?" o_O; It took me a second to understand what you meant, and I really did LOL! ^_^
lol yeah, in retrospect I should have used an analogy, but I'm glad you chuckled at my unintentional potty humor :P
Man she really did seem awesome. Every day I hope and wish I'll meet a cute/hot gamer girl. At least you had 7 (hopefully) great years with her and it is all experience that you can grow from. I definitely know that feeling of thinking that no other girl will replace another...trust me. :(
hope the best to you dude, honestly......
Whelp, you've gotta respect the woman for following her heart, and not staying in the relationship for your (or memories') sake. It blows chunks, but if someone isn't happy with who and what they are, they need to change, regardless of the loved ones that decision will hurt.
Seven years sounds like a long time to be with someone, so I think the best way for you to "get over" this (if there is such a thing) is to re-discover who you are, and to be completely content in being independent. I think then and only then is one capable of having a truly rewarding (and healthy) relationship.
"cheer up, it'll get better, you're better off"
That sucks. It is for the better though.
That's harsh man, hope things improve for ya soon. Stay strong bro.
Wow. I thought me and my (now ex) girlfriend had it bad but this takes the cake.
But in the end, honestly we both lost :/ Stay in there man, cause one of us has to.