I've always been a huge fan of Charles Bukowski's poetry (if you want to call it that). Simple language, simple style, simple scheme, and it packs so much unbelievable fervor and energy. Well, it just so happened I had Bethesda's upcoming sequel [need I use the name?] in mind as I read this poem of his.

"Dinosauria, We"
Born into this
Into this
As the chalk faces smile
As Mrs. Death laughs
As the elevators break
As political landscapes dissolve
As the supermarket bag boy holds a college degree
As the oily fish spit out their oily prey
As the sun is masked
We are
Born like this
Into this
Into these carefully mad wars
Into the sight of broken factory windows of emptiness
Into bars where people no longer speak to each other
Into fist fights that end as shootings and knifings

Born into this
[i]Into hospitals which are so expensive that it’s cheaper to die
Into lawyers who charge so much it’s cheaper to plead guilty
Into a country where the jails are full and the madhouses closed
Into a place where the masses elevate fools into rich heroes

Born into this
Walking and living through this
Dying because of this
Muted because of this

Castrated
Debauched
Disinherited
Because of this

Fooled by this
Used by this
Pissed on by this
Made crazy and sick by this
Made violent
Made inhuman
By this

The heart is blackened
The fingers reach for the throat
The gun
The knife
The bomb
The fingers reach toward an unresponsive god
The fingers reach for the bottle
The pill
The powder

We are born into this sorrowful deadliness
We are born into a government 60 years in debt
That soon will be unable to even pay the interest on that debt
And the banks will burn
Money will be useless
There will be open and unpunished murder in the streets
It will be guns and roving mobs
Land will be useless
Food will become a diminishing return
Nuclear power will be taken over by the many
Explosions will continually shake the earth
Radiated robot men will stalk each other
The rich and the chosen will watch from space platforms
Dante’s Inferno will be made to look like a children’s playground
The sun will not be seen and it will always be night

Trees will die
All vegetation will die
Radiated men will eat the flesh of radiated men
The sea will be poisoned
The lakes and rivers will vanish
Rain will be the new gold
The rotting bodies of men and animals will stink in the dark wind
The last few survivors will be overtaken by new and hideous diseases
And the space platforms will be destroyed by attrition
The petering out of supplies
The natural effect of general decay

And there will be the most beautiful silence never heard
Born out of that.
The sun still hidden there
Awaiting the next chapter.

And I swear to GOD, Bethesda, if some part of this doesn't appear in the game, I will sacrifice a bloody cow.

Maybe I just have an overactive imagination, but I imagine this: An empty and desolate landscape, buildings collapsing in fragments of unused marble, a song of plain sorrow played upon by a solitary violin. These verses float, in hushed and reverent speech, over the long-past catastrophe.

Maybe Ian McKellen says them. Maybe not.

Do it, you bastards.

William Singlagah, a 28-year-old New Zealander, went above and beoynd to express his fury towards a 15-year-old agitator in Wellington. For lack of a better weapon, he picked up and heaved-to with a nearby hedgehog, striking the boy in the shin and calf. The boy was not hospitalized, and suffered only a welt and some pricks to the leg.

The hedgehog was dead by the time police on scene collected it for use in court, although the state of its livingness at the moment of the deed is still being debated. Mr. Singlagah was arrested and charged with assault with a deadly weapon. I'm not too familiar with Kiwi prisons, but it looks like somebody might be collecting his golden ring very soon.

[Thanks, EVN]

I've had this gift copy of Half-Life 2 lying around on Steam since I bought The Orange Box, and I've been trying to give it away to close friends of mine but none of them have decent PCs, just out-of-box pieces of shite. So, I turn to my next closest victims. I mean, friends.

I want an avatar that ties in, somehow, to Mr. Destructoid. Peaches optional. The best one I have in this thread, by April 18th (that's the Friday after next), gets it.

It's a contest! Wheeeeee!

It's fucking Hayden Chris Hansen.

I love lava lamps.


I hope beyond hope that somebody at Western is from Dtoid, so I'll know somebody when I go there. We can PNAR at a NARP. I'll buy the beer. Or find it, at least.



He really does, you should trust him.


This only happens when my processor is under load, for some reason.


Not part of my rig, but she spends enough time in there.

Saw this on Newgrounds very recently, a very satisfying Stumble from StumbleUpon.

The creator says the original lyrics are such:

Audi famam illius.
I have heard of his rumor.
Solus in hostes ruit
He alone rushed into his enemies
et patriam servavit.
and saved his homeland.
Audi famam illius.
I have heard of his rumor.
Cucurrit quaeque tetigit destruens.
He ran across the lands and everything he touched was destroyed.
Audi famam illius.
I have heard of his rumor.
Audi famam illius.
I have heard of his rumor.
Spes omnibus,mihi quoque.
He gave everyone hope, as he gave me.
Terror omnibus,mihi quoque.
He gave everyone fear, as he gave me.
Ille
He is now
iuxta me.
next to me.
Ille iuxta me.
He is now next to me.
Socii sunt mihi.
My allies are with me.
qui olim viri fortes
My allies, who were once heroes
rivalesque erant.
and old enemies, are here.
Saeve certando pugnandoque
As they fiercely competed and battled
sprendor crescit.
their splendor grew.

Me, I prefer the new ones.