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Best of Craigslist: Dearest Gamestop Girl
PrinceofCannedPeaches | 9:04 PM on 05.06.2008 19 comments




Dearest GameStop Girl,

When I walked into your store that fateful Tuesday, I expected only to find a smattering of half-decent titles tucked back there amongst the used 360 games. Instead I found you, surrounded by a beam of light, halfway between Assassin's Creed and Call of Duty 3. Your gorgeous dark hair was radiant in contrast with the rainbow of colors on the deluxe Bioshock behind you. The Game of the Year held no interest for me when I saw you look up and smile, even though both could hold me in Rapture.

You commanded the register when it was my turn to check out with the Orange Box. Yes, I was finally getting to play Portal. Lucky me, you said with the cutest smile. Lucky me, I thought, and then knew you had the Portal to my heart. I could care less if the cake is a lie, I'd still want to share it with you.

Oh GameStop Girl, how you make my heart meter skip a beat. If you were being held captive in a mountain fortress by a ruthless mutant mafia gangboss and I had to fight my way through 16 levels of fire-breathing undead ninjas with swords the size of small ponies, I would find a way, even if, after every level, a small man continued to taunt me by saying that you were in another castle. EVEN IF.

So, yes, GameStop Girl, I want to kill robotic zombie terrorists with you. You can even have the deluxe shotgun with explosive scattershot. I'll just use this knife over here. I'll do anything for you, just for the small, slightest chance that someday - someday - you and me could be a Wii.

Cute. Geek love: how I wish I could try you.



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18 comments | showing # 1 to 18

prev next

Conrad Zimmerman's Destructoid Blog
I think I just got diabetes.
animateria's Destructoid Blog
I think I read this before.

Or someone wrote another one for kicks.
king3vbo's Destructoid Blog
DIABEETUS, I HAS IT NOW
Crunshii's Destructoid Blog
/omegabarf
wilbo's Destructoid Blog
/dance
kawitchate's Destructoid Blog
"...even though both could hold me in Rapture"
dayum that's smooth.
Neonie's Destructoid Blog
/lol
Revolt in Colour's Destructoid Blog
Holy crap this is old.
RHWeeeee6's Destructoid Blog
NOOOOOO.. I too now have DIABEETUS.. DAMN YOU!!!
B-Radicate's Destructoid Blog
So, how was she supposed to find this love letter?
Reeper's Destructoid Blog
Wow.

This was good, surprisingly. The last line was killer.


/not gay.
kaciesaurus's Destructoid Blog
/puke
MechaMonkey's Destructoid Blog
I bet he says that to all the girls.
Surf314's Destructoid Blog
That picture is gross, worse once I figured out what I was looking at.

Spider veins FTL
Pixel Blue's Destructoid Blog
Wow. I could not tell what was in that picture. I thought it was a butt, with a black thong on (AHHHHH) but it's feet. Phew.

Gotta be fake, though. (The posting, not the tattoo.)
blehman's Destructoid Blog
Wow, that's a really messed up picture of an ass...
PrinceofCannedPeaches's Destructoid Blog
It's feet, damnit, lower your standards!


prev next


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