So, my 360 died. No red ring of happiness and funny fart cakes or anything like that... It just started locking up when I tried to play games. After calling Microsoft Tech Support and getting disconnected twice, I finally get Microsoft to honor the warranty repair. I receive their box and ship the console to the repair shop, and, hence, the loneliness begins.

So, I call about a week later after my Xbox has been received at the shop, to ask about my Xbox because the warranty website "has problems." The lady misunderstands me and tries to get me off the phone by telling me that my warranty is in fact still valid.

Me: "No! You already have my Xbox! I'm calling to ask about it!"

Lady: "Oh! I see that now, sir. Please hold."

*wait music and happy sunshiney thoughts...*

Lady: "Sir, your Xbox has been received."

Me: "... Awesome... (No shit you received it... UPS told me that....) So, will I receive a phone call or an e-mail or smoke signals when my Xbox is shipped back to me?"

Lady: "No. I can't promise you that. Sometimes, customers receive e-mails. Sometimes they don't. I don't think we do phone calls or smoke signals at all. I recommend you keep in touch with the Max IVR to keep an eye on your repair status."

Me: "Okay... One more question..."

Lady: "Okay, go ahead sir."

Me: "Is there an address I can use to send a "Get Well" card to my Xbox?"

Lady: "... What?"

Me: "Seriously, is there an address I can use to send a "Get Well" card to my Xbox? I miss it, and I want it to know that I'm at home thinking about pushing it's buttons."

Lady: "... Hold please..."

...

Lady: "Sir, we don't do that."

Me: "Well, that's a shame. Thanks for your help!"