What makes a manly man? Many things can, from what one does for a living to the clothes they wear. But, more than anything, great facial hair makes for the very definition of a manly man. Look at some of the great men in history that wore their facial hair proudly. People like Einstein, Abraham Lincoln, General Burnside (Sideburns are named after him), Darwin, Dali, and who could forget Santa Claus! All of these great men had beautifully styled facial hair. Much like these real figures in our history, gaming too has their own collection of bearded and mustached men. If youíre a man and youíre thinking of growing your own manly beard or mustache then gaze upon the manliness of some of the greatest facial hair in video games both past and present and may their awesomeness inspire you.
Number 11: Mario and Luigi
The plumber brothers were like my gateway drug to the world of facial hair. After spending countless hours with Mario, I began to appreciate and desire a finely groomed mustache of my own. Mario and Luigiís famous facial hair has even been made something of an inside joke within the Mario & Luigi RPG series, having its own stat to increase. You canít go wrong with such a fine mustache.
Number 10: Mike Haggar
I originally was not going to include Mike in this list but, as many of you have stated, it just wouldn't be a list of manly facial hair without the amazing stache of Mike Haggar. This man's mustache is so manly that it alone is a better stache then Mario and Luigi combined! Such a man is Mike, with his rather Tom Selleck like mustache, that the man can freaking pile-drive a shark. A SHARK!
Number 9: Gordon Freeman
Ah the goatee. It has now become what is probably the most common variation of the beard seen on men today. Can anyone doubt the manliness of Mr. Freeman and his well groomed chin whiskers? This is not a style for the lazy as a good goatee requires keeping the surrounding area well shaven and clean or else it just looks sloppy. What does it say about Gordon that he would have the time for his world saving antics and keep his facial hair so neat and trim? It says heís a damn man, thatís what it says! Gordon Freeman can save the world and keep his goatee perfect while doing it. Now thatís a manly man.
Number 8: King of All Cosmos
All hail the King and his perfectly crafted, highly stylized full beard. The King of All Cosmos has combined the handlebar mustache, mutton chops and the beard to form his own facial hair thatís as unique as he is. It would take someone with great self confidence to pull this look off. The handlebar mustache or mutton chops alone take that certain something. Chances are, you donít have it.
Number 7: Nathan Drake
Quickly growing in facial hair popularity would be the designer stubble and there is perhaps no better video game example of this look than Nathan Drake. The carefully kept five oí clock shadow look adds a sense of ruggedness to any look. Mr. Drake is an everyman. Heís the guy every woman wants (he thinks so, at least) and every man wants to be. Good looking, athletic, smart, good with a firearm, and bearded to stubbly perfection.
Number 6: John Marston
I know what youíre thinking; John Marston is sporting that designer stubble look just like our number seven, Nathan Drake. At first glance, itís easy to mistake the two beards for the same style but theyíre not. Marstonís beard is born out of the manliness of the Wild West. See how it drifts down his neck? This suggests that he has better things to do then carefully trim his neckline, like surviving everyday life. Here, in the west, you were either a man or you were dead. This beard says, Iím a survivor and I ainít afraid to have a shot of whiskey then a gunfight at high noon. Nathan just wishes he could have a beard like Johnís.
Number 5: Zangief
Heís big, heís Russian, and he trains by wrestling bears! A beast of a man requires a beast of a beard and thatís exactly what Zangief has. Zangiefís beard has just a hint of that wild unkempt look which matches with his powerful, bear like presence. His manly beard is matched equally by his massive chest hair. Every other manís facial hair before him on this list should be ashamed, and afraid.
Number 4: Sir Arthur
His beloved has been captured by Satan himself and there is an army of undead beasties waiting to chomp him to bits. A man with these sorts of odds against him needs manly facial covering. Sir Arthurís red shaggy scruff of a beard gets the job done nicely. Itís almost like a really bushy goatee! Only a man that runs like that could possibly pull off such a short, yet shaggy man beard.
Number 3: ďCowboyĒ
Modeled after real life soldier ďCowboyĒ, this long and beautiful face covering is truly manly. A man fighting in a country where nearly every other male person also has a beard must have a beard even better than them to be considered manly. This beard is one so glorious that few other beards can compare. If you see a man with a beard born of this much testosterone, just go ahead and punch yourself in the balls because you are not a man while in his graces, but a mere child.
Number 2: Dr. Light
Like a kindly grandfather figure, or even Santa himself, Dr. Lightís beard is of equal manliness as Cowboyís yet shows the added benefit that only years of life can provide. This is the sort of beard you grew up admiring. It probably smells like a fine tobacco from a pipe and it brings forth comforting images of times with your grandfather. Itís the perfect feature to compliment the father of Mega Man. Itís godly in its quality and beauty; itís what Cowboyís beard hopes to grow up to be.
Number 1: The Lost Vikings
Maybe it isnít fair to put the Viking brothers on the list with the rest of these men. Itís really not fair to them because the combined manliness provided by the facial hair of The Lost Vikings can make a freshly shaven man suddenly sprout a five oíclock shadow just by looking at them. Vikingís were known for many things in their time and manly beards were one of those things. Why, male Viking babies exited their motherís womb with a stein of mead in one hand and braiding their already grown beards with the other. Even Baleog, who is surely made fun of by this brothers for not having a beard, sports a fu-manchu that is the envy of Mario and Luigiís own mustaches. Their combined awesome beardedness is what makes The Lost Vikings the greatest bearded video game characters of all time.