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I'm that Gaming/Blogging/Moving Watching/ Indie Game Making dude on the Twitter who LOVES BIG BOOBIES !! Not to worry, I'll behave myself on Destructoid...And I will be bringing the funny.

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UPDATE: Esquire has moved the Rebranding to the Summer instead of Next week.

So, this is it....

This is the final week of G4TV's Existence. Beginning next week, the rebranding begins. G4 will change to the Esquire Network.

I know very little about the changes, but here is what I got:

Original Programming:

There are only 2 shows that I know of that are "Original" from the new network.

The First one is "Knife Fight"
I know right?! It sounds really good, doesn't it? You are probably thinking of a bunch of guys fighting each other with knives, am I right?

I hate to disappoint you - but "Knife Fight" is a, wait for it.....Cooking Competition. Yes, a Cooking Competition. This guy is a chef (I forget his name) who invites his famous celebrity friends to judge the meals made by 4 chefs, who are all using weird-ass ingredients.

So....It's a lot like "Chopped" on the Food Network, but with an audience and no 10,000 Bucks to win.


The Second show is called "The Getaway"

Celebs travel to remote locations and enjoy the local cultures.

It sounds a lot like E!' "Wild on...", HDNet's (Now known as AXS TV) "Get Out!" and a Show on The Travel Channel called "Bridget's Sexiest Beaches (2009)", Starring Bridget Marquardt, except the hosts aren't in skimpy bikini's doing photo shoots.

*Sighs* how I miss those shows. "Get Out" was Crazy good. Should've recorded those episodes more often.

Anyway, Those are currently the ONLY TWO SHOWS THEY'VE DONE.

Cue up WTF Cat:



And we move on....to shows that will be on the network, after being on other networks.

The Shows that are gonna fill up the void the network currently has are shows that we have already seen before on other networks:

"Party Down", which was on the Starz Network for only 2 seasons before getting the axe, 20 episodes in all and "Parks and Recreation", which is still on NBC in the latter half of its fifth season.
Both shows will supposedly air in 3 hour blocks 8pm-11pm, so I have heard.

Ninja Warrior and American Ninja Warrior is going to be aired like a mofo this coming Monday and Tuesday, along with "Cops", and Movies that don't suck.

To fill up the late night hours, "Quantum Leap" and Knight Rider will run from midnight to 4am, and from 4am to 9am, Paid Programming and crappy Phone sex ads. Yay!

"Late Night With Jimmy Fallon" was supposed to air on the coveted 7pm EDT Time slot, but it won't show up until the Summer. I call the time slot coveted, because that is the time my beloved "Attack of the Show" aired.

The only thing that hasn't changed, is the Airing of the now defunct (And equally just as good as AOTS), XPlay, Which STILL gets aired at the 6:30pm Time Slot, along with the g4tv.com website (Although it is very barren right now).

So just as I, and most of you thought was going to happen, is actually going to happen.

G4 is going from a Channel that had only 2 really good shows on it, to a channel that is going to contain a mash-up of different shows that we have seen on other networks.

Will I be watching? I'd rather try swallowing a pocket knife in one gulp, with the blade sticking out.

I was thinking of downgrading my cable service to save some cash, now I have a valid reason to do so.

Goodbye G4. It was fun.

To help ease the pain of what you all just read, and to help ease the sting we are going to get next week, Here is a pic of Former Playboy Playmate Sara Jean Underwood, dressed as a stormtrooper, washing a car:



That's Better.

Laters.
Photo Photo








Seeing that I am going into the business of making Video Games and apps, there are a few things I'd like to say....

One: The Game I'm working on is going to be 100% DRM-Free - No Steam or Desura or that shitty EA Origin. And even IF the game or any future games make it to Steam, The Price is not Gonna break your wallet.

Second...if my game should find its way to The Pirate Bay, or any other Torrent site, Fine by me. If its a Paid game or free, Share away...I'm not gonna sic the Cops on you, or call the lawyers. Even though I want to make money from this, I want everyone to play my games more. The "Making Money" part is a pleasant side effect, and will always come second in my mission statement.

I have a great idea for a game, and I'm giving it form as we speak, so you all can play it. Just have fun, is Mission #1

Now if you'll excuse me, Time to start building my game, which now involves A bag full of Pens. Yes, you read that correctly.








As of Today, I, PlayBoyMan, aka GodOfKonckers, am throwing my hat into the ring of Game Development. That's a fancy way of saying I'm making a game. For Serious.

I've always had a passion for playing Video Games. Been playing them since I was 4. And now, after 30 years of gaming, I figured its high time I started making them. It's always been a dream of mine to make a video game, and now with all the technology we have nowadays, I'm going to give that dream form.

I'm making an RPG game for the PC, using RPG Maker VX Ace Lite on Steam. I would buy the full version of RPG Maker VX ACE, but its pricey, and as despite my best efforts, I can't crap money – just crap. Damn it. That high fiber diet did nothing for me. Expect lose weight, which was nice.

Anyway, because I can't buy this software right now, the game will be a non-commercial title, which I'll distribute myself. I'll be giving the game away for free. I might get a kickstarter going, once I figure out how much it'll all cost to make the game a commercial product, and try to get it on Steam, and maybe Desura. – Sidenote: The Commercial price of this game is not going to break you. No $60 titles from me. Ya hear that, EA?

I'll tell you some of the story which I'm working on as we speak:

“You play as a Woman named Sam (Yeah that's right, a WOMAN). She is a baker, who is enjoying her life running her bakery in a close knit town, and growing the sticky-icky for sale and leisure in the back (Liking this game already, aren't you?).

One day, she gets a mysterious package on the storefront's step. After receiving this strange package, her life gets turned upside-down, as she is chased and tormented by an unseen force.”

Not bad, yes?

If you want to help out, feel free – Money, resources, spreading the word – However you want to help out, go for it. This is a game I'm making for my fellow gamers out there – I value and welcome your support.

This is the part where I tell you the release date for this game, but I won't. It'll be done when It's done.
PLEASE....no Duke Nukem Forever Jokes.

Let's light this candle.

Laters.








Yesterday, on the DToid Facebook, a lovely posting appeared for a really really, REALLY good game called "Bomberine".

It's a Browser game, that is in beta. It's coded in HTML 5, and plays great.
For serious, it's a great way to waste time and lose productivity any time if the day.

No, I'm not joking, this game is crazy fun. Here's how it plays out (From what I can tell):

You are a Bomberman (That's Not a typo, I'll explain in a bit), and your goal is to mine for gold and treasures buried in blocks of dirt and, well...blocks. You play each game in rounds, each one lasting 20 minutes at a time.

Sounds boring right? It's not, I haven't even gotten to the good stuff yet -
You start with the ability to plant one bomb at a time, and you move as slow as a snail. Thankfully there are powerups all over the place.

Bombs icons which give you more bombs that you can lay down at one time, Powerups that look like orange fireballs with a face, which increase the power of your bombs, and there are these "Radio Bombs" - Bombs you can blow up ON COMMAND.

There are powerups for speed, and a powerup that can help save most of your powerups if you die and come back (Without it you go back to square one when you die).

Oh, and you can play with others. You can become groups of teams of 4, and just have fun bombing others.

Which brings us to the amazing part of all....As you, yes you, the guy or gal who is reading this blog, will be play with other players: 999 Other players.

You damn right - 1000 people are playing the bombermine game - at the same time.
At first, the game is a little "Ok...yeah I get it Web browser version spoof of Bomberman", but after a few minutes you are saying, "This game is Hella COOL!!!!! YAY!!!!"

Oh, and here is a screenshot of the game:


Looks crazy good, huh? It is. BELIEVE me it is so fun.
Its free to play, and as I said before, it's fun. There is a whole bunch of other things I didn't mention here, and you should go and play this amazing game.

You can play the game here:
http://bombermine.com/

Oh and Watch out for the Evil Pac-Man look-alikes...You heard me.
Laters.
Photo








Yeah that's right - If your an Xbox Kinect owner, I strongly feel that you wasted your money on a bad product idea, or what is commonly know as a Gimmick.

Wow hold on - before you get out the pitchforks and rip me a new....anything, there is a few valid points I'd like to make first as to WHY I think that.

The First thing that sucks about the Kinect is: YOU are the controller.

What the ...???

I am the controller? No, I am the Player, i.e. Gamer - you know, the person that is playing the game the Kinect was made to run with. If I have to stand or sit a certain way just to play a game, Its not worth my time.

For serious, how hard is it to make a handheld controller? All you have to do is put buttons in places that aren't hard to reach, and feels comfortable in my hands. Does that sound hard? NO.

Does Microsoft make it hard to do that? In this case, YES.

You know that Madden game that is out? It uses both the Kinect AND Xbox Controller together.

WHY?

The Mic in the Kinect allows the player to issue calls by voice command to the teams, and the controller allows you to control your character. But check this: You can call those same commands with your controller. Your Handheld controller. THE CONTROLLER IN YOUR HANDS.

That is the major issue I have with the Kinect - It's very limited to what it's for. And not every game made to use the Kinect is a slam dunk like Madden is (btw, that's ONE of TWO games I think it's good for), there are other games that don't use it well at all.

Four Words: Steel. Battalion: Heavy. Armor.

To help quickly prove my point I've posted a link to the review of the Steel Battalion: Heavy Armor game from XPlay. Yes, that's the show got cancelled on G4, just like G4 got cancelled from my list of channels to watch on my TV - Yeah, I went there.

http://www.g4tv.com/videos/59521/steel-battalion-heavy-armor-review/

And to make sure there is no confusion (and just in case the G4 website goes poof from the internets), here is a snapshot of the written review of the game from the website itself:



OUCH.

Now there is a understandable, and barely acceptable usage for the Kinect I can accept - Just Dance 4.

I will admit, that people do like to dance, myself included and it's nice to be able to do so, without dealing with all the crap and BS you would find in a Nightclub, and I guess you could say its a good idea to get up off your lazy butt and get moving.

So, why to I barely accept this? That Question brings me to the second reason the XBox Kinect is a waste of money:

People get hurt!

We've seen the video on youtube - this is a thing:

It is very easy to get hurt using the Kinect - and not a lot of people will follow the directions on how to use the Kinect to avoid this, so 9 times out of 10 - things like this will happen:



Do you know how many times this would happen with a regular controller? Never. Zero. None. Nada. If you give me a number higher than zero, you will be officially declared the worst liar in gaming history.

And I didn't want to go there with this, but I am trying to make a point:



For those of you who have never seen that clip before, the kid was fine. She is OK.
But we can't ignore the fact that this kind of crap never happened with a handheld controller. I've never knocked anyone out with a controller, and I've been gaming for 3 decades.

And I don't feel old saying that either.

My Final thought - man, I just don't see a real big need to own a Kinect, and even though the technology behind it is cool, the application for it....not so much.

It's just another gimmick you don't need, taking up space that could be put to more important use - like keeping your porn dvd's, or a bowl of condoms. Yeah, that kind of stuff.

And if you lol'd at that poor kid getting smacked in the face by accident - for shame. What is wrong with you? Call Dr. Phil.

And don't buy the Kinect.

Laters.
Photo








In my last blog post, which in the blogosphere is still warm, I talk briefly about the chipin web service going bye bye.

Today however, As I was wondering how to place a paypal link on my twitch page, I went thru my twitter page, and saw that I got a tweet from a user named @ImRaising:



Curious, I told them I'd give them a follow, to which received a reply:



Knowing that a there is a website now, I shot over to ImRaising.com, and was this very welcome intro to the service:



If you can't read the text in the image, I'll paste it here:

[center][i]A New Movement

Friends, For three months, we've worked tirelessly on I'm Raising. For three months, we've kept everything a secret. But now, as you're well aware, the secret is out: I'm Raising, the ChipIn alternative, is coming, and it's coming fast. We've announced I'm Raising abruptly, and understandably, it's worried some of you. I'm here to hopefully alleviate some of that concern. Let me start by making something clear: We had no intention of announcing I'm Raising so quickly. We wanted to send I'm Raising off with a pat on its head, but instead, we were forced to send it off with a jet pack. You see, once we heard that ChipIn was closing on March 7, 2013, we had to move, and we had to move fast. So, here we are. This is us moving. You're reading this letter, and we're building our site, bit by bit. We probably won't sleep tonight, we probably won't eat tonight, but come tomorrow, you'll understand everything, and I mean everything. I'm Raising marks a new movement in internet fundraising—one that's personal, one that's powerful. It's time for a new service, and ours is three months in the making. Friends, it's time for I'm Raising. Our demo goes live on February 6, 2013 at 6 pm PST (-8 GMT)! All we ask is that you give us a chance. Thank you, Ethan Smith, Media Coordinator In the mean time, please check out our Release Schedule and Features.[/i] [/center]

The Live Demo goes live TONIGHT at 9pm PST, which is less than a couple of hours away.
Jump over there and lets see what this service has to offer.

Laters.
Photo Photo Photo