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7:00 PM on 05.17.2013  

[Essay] I AM the Internet's Next Top Streamer...I Think.

For those of you who are new to the scene, I am a caster on Twitch.tv.

My twitch username is GodOfKonckers. It's supposed to be GodOfKnockers (spelled n-o, not o-n), but that is what I get for typing way too fast, and drinking coffee all at the same time.

I don't stream much, but when I do, I rock it like a boss. I play Retro games and indie games, not because I LOVE them, but because my Capture Device is a true pain in the neck, and that is putting it nicely.

Now, I don't have a webcam, but I DO have YouTube clips of my gameplay.

Here is a highlight of one of my streaming sessions from May 14th, (Runtime 12 Minutes, NSFW):




Was that not cool, and funny as hell? Yes? I think so too.

Now as for that crappy capture card...I have a Hauppauge HD PVR - the one with the air intake vents on the bottom, and no exit vents on the top. It overheats a lot, the Capture software seldom captures the dimensions properly (Its set to capture in 16x9, and it stretches it to 4x3), and even though it hasn't happened lately, the capture software crashes so bad that I have no choice to reinstall Windows 7 AND ALL THE APPS I USE.

Can the Technical Support for the damn thing help me? Nope. They don't even know what causes the crash in the first place, and reinstalling everything is the only thing that works.

Oy. VEY.

And that sucks so much, because I have a PS2 and a TON of games, but the PC I'm on is not strong enough for the PS2 Emulator, and I play Classic Nintendo better on the Psychical Console anyways (Yes, I have the original 8Bit NES).

I could really use a new capture card, because I REALLY want to play PS2 games for the masses. I have over 100 games for that lovely console, and many of them are just kickass. Can you imagine me playing Resident Evil 4?

I'm good at it. I love that game. Hell, I plan on playing it after I finish this essay.

I play a lot of games, and I'd love to expand on that list. Streaming was something I had never considered before, and now that I have been doing it, I can't imagine my day without it. It's fun, and I have met some really cool people both on Twitch and DTiod.

It would be hella cool to win that card - and even if I don't win, that's OK too. It won't stop me from streaming and having fun. 

Before I go, I think I'll post one more clip of my gameplay. CastleVania (NES):




Thanks for reading.
Laters.   read


11:07 PM on 04.28.2013  

My Response to "In Defense of Boobies"

I had just finished reading the blog "In Defense of Boobies".

Firstly: I want to say that it was a good read. It made some very good points - I liked it.
If you want, take a read of it here: http://www.destructoid.com/in-defense-of-boobies-252408.phtml

But, despite how good the blog is, I did take issue with one part of the article: Realism.

I was gonna Comment on the article, but there is an error with Disqus. I couldn't login and post a comment, so I'm gonna copypasta my comment here instead:

[b] "A Good read, but I take issue on the realism concept. A Video Game is a work of art and fiction. The Second we start trying to or continue to pursue realism into a work of fiction, it stops being artistic, and becomes boring.

I'm going into Indie Game design, and I can tell you right now: there will be zero realism in any game I make. I have always seen Video Games as a work of art and fantasy, because that is what they are. Realism should only be in the graphics, visuals, and the movement on the characters in the game...nothing more.

If anyone wants more realism than that, then go outside and enjoy life. When Life starts to become boring, come back inside and escape into the fantasy world of Video Games." [/b]

Now If you'll excuse me, I'm gonna get back to a pimping mission I've got running in GTA:LCS - The Johns aren't treating my ladies right, and I gotta problem with that.

Laters.   read


8:30 PM on 04.18.2013  

Goodbye G4..meh to you Esquire

UPDATE: Esquire has moved the Rebranding to the Summer instead of Next week.

So, this is it....

This is the final week of G4TV's Existence. Beginning next week, the rebranding begins. G4 will change to the Esquire Network.

I know very little about the changes, but here is what I got:

Original Programming:

There are only 2 shows that I know of that are "Original" from the new network.

The First one is "Knife Fight"
I know right?! It sounds really good, doesn't it? You are probably thinking of a bunch of guys fighting each other with knives, am I right?

I hate to disappoint you - but "Knife Fight" is a, wait for it.....Cooking Competition. Yes, a Cooking Competition. This guy is a chef (I forget his name) who invites his famous celebrity friends to judge the meals made by 4 chefs, who are all using weird-ass ingredients.

So....It's a lot like "Chopped" on the Food Network, but with an audience and no 10,000 Bucks to win.


The Second show is called "The Getaway"

Celebs travel to remote locations and enjoy the local cultures.

It sounds a lot like E!' "Wild on...", HDNet's (Now known as AXS TV) "Get Out!" and a Show on The Travel Channel called "Bridget's Sexiest Beaches (2009)", Starring Bridget Marquardt, except the hosts aren't in skimpy bikini's doing photo shoots.

*Sighs* how I miss those shows. "Get Out" was Crazy good. Should've recorded those episodes more often.

Anyway, Those are currently the ONLY TWO SHOWS THEY'VE DONE.

Cue up WTF Cat:



And we move on....to shows that will be on the network, after being on other networks.

The Shows that are gonna fill up the void the network currently has are shows that we have already seen before on other networks:

"Party Down", which was on the Starz Network for only 2 seasons before getting the axe, 20 episodes in all and "Parks and Recreation", which is still on NBC in the latter half of its fifth season.
Both shows will supposedly air in 3 hour blocks 8pm-11pm, so I have heard.

Ninja Warrior and American Ninja Warrior is going to be aired like a mofo this coming Monday and Tuesday, along with "Cops", and Movies that don't suck.

To fill up the late night hours, "Quantum Leap" and Knight Rider will run from midnight to 4am, and from 4am to 9am, Paid Programming and crappy Phone sex ads. Yay!

"Late Night With Jimmy Fallon" was supposed to air on the coveted 7pm EDT Time slot, but it won't show up until the Summer. I call the time slot coveted, because that is the time my beloved "Attack of the Show" aired.

The only thing that hasn't changed, is the Airing of the now defunct (And equally just as good as AOTS), XPlay, Which STILL gets aired at the 6:30pm Time Slot, along with the g4tv.com website (Although it is very barren right now).

So just as I, and most of you thought was going to happen, is actually going to happen.

G4 is going from a Channel that had only 2 really good shows on it, to a channel that is going to contain a mash-up of different shows that we have seen on other networks.

Will I be watching? I'd rather try swallowing a pocket knife in one gulp, with the blade sticking out.

I was thinking of downgrading my cable service to save some cash, now I have a valid reason to do so.

Goodbye G4. It was fun.

To help ease the pain of what you all just read, and to help ease the sting we are going to get next week, Here is a pic of Former Playboy Playmate Sara Jean Underwood, dressed as a stormtrooper, washing a car:



That's Better.

Laters.   read


5:00 PM on 04.09.2013  

My Mission Statement....

Seeing that I am going into the business of making Video Games and apps, there are a few things I'd like to say....

One: The Game I'm working on is going to be 100% DRM-Free - No Steam or Desura or that shitty EA Origin. And even IF the game or any future games make it to Steam, The Price is not Gonna break your wallet.

Second...if my game should find its way to The Pirate Bay, or any other Torrent site, Fine by me. If its a Paid game or free, Share away...I'm not gonna sic the Cops on you, or call the lawyers. Even though I want to make money from this, I want everyone to play my games more. The "Making Money" part is a pleasant side effect, and will always come second in my mission statement.

I have a great idea for a game, and I'm giving it form as we speak, so you all can play it. Just have fun, is Mission #1

Now if you'll excuse me, Time to start building my game, which now involves A bag full of Pens. Yes, you read that correctly.   read


9:01 AM on 04.02.2013  

There is an Indie Developer among you....

As of Today, I, PlayBoyMan, aka GodOfKonckers, am throwing my hat into the ring of Game Development. That's a fancy way of saying I'm making a game. For Serious.

I've always had a passion for playing Video Games. Been playing them since I was 4. And now, after 30 years of gaming, I figured its high time I started making them. It's always been a dream of mine to make a video game, and now with all the technology we have nowadays, I'm going to give that dream form.

I'm making an RPG game for the PC, using RPG Maker VX Ace Lite on Steam. I would buy the full version of RPG Maker VX ACE, but its pricey, and as despite my best efforts, I can't crap money – just crap. Damn it. That high fiber diet did nothing for me. Expect lose weight, which was nice.

Anyway, because I can't buy this software right now, the game will be a non-commercial title, which I'll distribute myself. I'll be giving the game away for free. I might get a kickstarter going, once I figure out how much it'll all cost to make the game a commercial product, and try to get it on Steam, and maybe Desura. – Sidenote: The Commercial price of this game is not going to break you. No $60 titles from me. Ya hear that, EA?

I'll tell you some of the story which I'm working on as we speak:

“You play as a Woman named Sam (Yeah that's right, a WOMAN). She is a baker, who is enjoying her life running her bakery in a close knit town, and growing the sticky-icky for sale and leisure in the back (Liking this game already, aren't you?).

One day, she gets a mysterious package on the storefront's step. After receiving this strange package, her life gets turned upside-down, as she is chased and tormented by an unseen force.”

Not bad, yes?

If you want to help out, feel free – Money, resources, spreading the word – However you want to help out, go for it. This is a game I'm making for my fellow gamers out there – I value and welcome your support.

This is the part where I tell you the release date for this game, but I won't. It'll be done when It's done.
PLEASE....no Duke Nukem Forever Jokes.

Let's light this candle.

Laters.   read


8:13 PM on 02.28.2013  

Kaboom !!!! Bombermine ROCKS !!!

Yesterday, on the DToid Facebook, a lovely posting appeared for a really really, REALLY good game called "Bomberine".

It's a Browser game, that is in beta. It's coded in HTML 5, and plays great.
For serious, it's a great way to waste time and lose productivity any time if the day.

No, I'm not joking, this game is crazy fun. Here's how it plays out (From what I can tell):

You are a Bomberman (That's Not a typo, I'll explain in a bit), and your goal is to mine for gold and treasures buried in blocks of dirt and, well...blocks. You play each game in rounds, each one lasting 20 minutes at a time.

Sounds boring right? It's not, I haven't even gotten to the good stuff yet -
You start with the ability to plant one bomb at a time, and you move as slow as a snail. Thankfully there are powerups all over the place.

Bombs icons which give you more bombs that you can lay down at one time, Powerups that look like orange fireballs with a face, which increase the power of your bombs, and there are these "Radio Bombs" - Bombs you can blow up ON COMMAND.

There are powerups for speed, and a powerup that can help save most of your powerups if you die and come back (Without it you go back to square one when you die).

Oh, and you can play with others. You can become groups of teams of 4, and just have fun bombing others.

Which brings us to the amazing part of all....As you, yes you, the guy or gal who is reading this blog, will be play with other players: 999 Other players.

You damn right - 1000 people are playing the bombermine game - at the same time.
At first, the game is a little "Ok...yeah I get it Web browser version spoof of Bomberman", but after a few minutes you are saying, "This game is Hella COOL!!!!! YAY!!!!"

Oh, and here is a screenshot of the game:


Looks crazy good, huh? It is. BELIEVE me it is so fun.
Its free to play, and as I said before, it's fun. There is a whole bunch of other things I didn't mention here, and you should go and play this amazing game.

You can play the game here:
http://bombermine.com/

Oh and Watch out for the Evil Pac-Man look-alikes...You heard me.
Laters.   read


2:44 PM on 02.10.2013  

The Xbox Kinect - the best device to WASTE YOUR MONEY ON!

Yeah that's right - If your an Xbox Kinect owner, I strongly feel that you wasted your money on a bad product idea, or what is commonly know as a Gimmick.

Wow hold on - before you get out the pitchforks and rip me a new....anything, there is a few valid points I'd like to make first as to WHY I think that.

The First thing that sucks about the Kinect is: YOU are the controller.

What the ...???

I am the controller? No, I am the Player, i.e. Gamer - you know, the person that is playing the game the Kinect was made to run with. If I have to stand or sit a certain way just to play a game, Its not worth my time.

For serious, how hard is it to make a handheld controller? All you have to do is put buttons in places that aren't hard to reach, and feels comfortable in my hands. Does that sound hard? NO.

Does Microsoft make it hard to do that? In this case, YES.

You know that Madden game that is out? It uses both the Kinect AND Xbox Controller together.

WHY?

The Mic in the Kinect allows the player to issue calls by voice command to the teams, and the controller allows you to control your character. But check this: You can call those same commands with your controller. Your Handheld controller. THE CONTROLLER IN YOUR HANDS.

That is the major issue I have with the Kinect - It's very limited to what it's for. And not every game made to use the Kinect is a slam dunk like Madden is (btw, that's ONE of TWO games I think it's good for), there are other games that don't use it well at all.

Four Words: Steel. Battalion: Heavy. Armor.

To help quickly prove my point I've posted a link to the review of the Steel Battalion: Heavy Armor game from XPlay. Yes, that's the show got cancelled on G4, just like G4 got cancelled from my list of channels to watch on my TV - Yeah, I went there.

http://www.g4tv.com/videos/59521/steel-battalion-heavy-armor-review/

And to make sure there is no confusion (and just in case the G4 website goes poof from the internets), here is a snapshot of the written review of the game from the website itself:



OUCH.

Now there is a understandable, and barely acceptable usage for the Kinect I can accept - Just Dance 4.

I will admit, that people do like to dance, myself included and it's nice to be able to do so, without dealing with all the crap and BS you would find in a Nightclub, and I guess you could say its a good idea to get up off your lazy butt and get moving.

So, why to I barely accept this? That Question brings me to the second reason the XBox Kinect is a waste of money:

People get hurt!

We've seen the video on youtube - this is a thing:

It is very easy to get hurt using the Kinect - and not a lot of people will follow the directions on how to use the Kinect to avoid this, so 9 times out of 10 - things like this will happen:



Do you know how many times this would happen with a regular controller? Never. Zero. None. Nada. If you give me a number higher than zero, you will be officially declared the worst liar in gaming history.

And I didn't want to go there with this, but I am trying to make a point:



For those of you who have never seen that clip before, the kid was fine. She is OK.
But we can't ignore the fact that this kind of crap never happened with a handheld controller. I've never knocked anyone out with a controller, and I've been gaming for 3 decades.

And I don't feel old saying that either.

My Final thought - man, I just don't see a real big need to own a Kinect, and even though the technology behind it is cool, the application for it....not so much.

It's just another gimmick you don't need, taking up space that could be put to more important use - like keeping your porn dvd's, or a bowl of condoms. Yeah, that kind of stuff.

And if you lol'd at that poor kid getting smacked in the face by accident - for shame. What is wrong with you? Call Dr. Phil.

And don't buy the Kinect.

Laters.   read


6:28 PM on 02.06.2013  

Hello "I'm Raising" - Who the hell are you?

In my last blog post, which in the blogosphere is still warm, I talk briefly about the chipin web service going bye bye.

Today however, As I was wondering how to place a paypal link on my twitch page, I went thru my twitter page, and saw that I got a tweet from a user named @ImRaising:



Curious, I told them I'd give them a follow, to which received a reply:



Knowing that a there is a website now, I shot over to ImRaising.com, and was this very welcome intro to the service:



If you can't read the text in the image, I'll paste it here:

[center][i]A New Movement

Friends, For three months, we've worked tirelessly on I'm Raising. For three months, we've kept everything a secret. But now, as you're well aware, the secret is out: I'm Raising, the ChipIn alternative, is coming, and it's coming fast. We've announced I'm Raising abruptly, and understandably, it's worried some of you. I'm here to hopefully alleviate some of that concern. Let me start by making something clear: We had no intention of announcing I'm Raising so quickly. We wanted to send I'm Raising off with a pat on its head, but instead, we were forced to send it off with a jet pack. You see, once we heard that ChipIn was closing on March 7, 2013, we had to move, and we had to move fast. So, here we are. This is us moving. You're reading this letter, and we're building our site, bit by bit. We probably won't sleep tonight, we probably won't eat tonight, but come tomorrow, you'll understand everything, and I mean everything. I'm Raising marks a new movement in internet fundraising—one that's personal, one that's powerful. It's time for a new service, and ours is three months in the making. Friends, it's time for I'm Raising. Our demo goes live on February 6, 2013 at 6 pm PST (-8 GMT)! All we ask is that you give us a chance. Thank you, Ethan Smith, Media Coordinator In the mean time, please check out our Release Schedule and Features.[/i] [/center]

The Live Demo goes live TONIGHT at 9pm PST, which is less than a couple of hours away.
Jump over there and lets see what this service has to offer.

Laters.   read


12:38 AM on 02.06.2013  

"Goodbye Chipin?" - I Just started to know you. WTF?!

Not long ago (40 Minutes as of this posting), I found out that the chipin.com website is closing it's doors for good. On March 7, 2013, chipin is hanging it up. It's blowing the set. It's laying down. CLOSING.

Here is a statement from the main site:

[b][i]Thanks For All The ChipIns

February 4, 2013

This is to notify all users of Chipin.com website ("Website") that ChipIn Inc. has been merged with InMobi Technologies Pvt. Ltd (collectively referred to as "Company"). We further wish to notify that InMobi has decided to discontinue the Website and all services thereunder on March 7, 2013 ("End Date"). Effective from the End Date, all registrations of any organizer/customer/user will be automatically cancelled/terminated without further liability to Company. Any personal data related to you, which may have been collected through the Website shall be destroyed as per the terms of the Privacy Policy provided under the Website.

InMobi will continue to own and hold on to the ChipIn brand, domain, and technology.

As of the date of this notice it will no longer be possible to create new accounts or ChipIns. Those with existing accounts will still be able to log in, copy and export data, manage ChipIns, update ChipIn pages, and accept contributions until the End Date. Chipin.com was started in 2005 as an easy way for individuals to raise money collectively and was one of the pioneers in this field. In six years Chipin.com helped thousands of users raise millions from contributors for wide-ranging purposes, including heart surgeries, pet adoptions, college graduation, disaster funds and much more.

Thank you for being part of the ChipIn community! It is gratifying to know that it has made a positive difference for many.
[/i][/b]

Now for some twitch users, chipin was an easy way to drum up cash for projects and donations people were supporting and working on.

I, was for a brief time, a Chipin user. I just came up with some chipins - two of them. The First was for Getting money to buy Steam games (I'm a broke bastard man), and the other was to get a couple of graphics cards for my Dell Optiplex 745 PC.

Games + Graphics cards = More Games to play on Twitch. Nice Idea right?

But now, after reading this statement from Chipin, which I really don't think was up and running Feb. 4th, but may have been (I don't pay Attention to that kind of stuff anyways), I can't help but feel pissed off over this.

I JUST STARTED USING THE SERVICE[i]

It was all setup on my Twitch page, and it looked really good for the few days I was using it.

I know this isn't a big deal, and there is a fix for this (PayPal), It just really sucks that I have to work on my twitch page some more.

And I have no idea what my PayPal Password is.

Oy Vey.

Laters.   read


4:11 PM on 01.31.2013  

Attack of the Swag!

Today marks 1 week and 1 day the beloved program ,“Attack of the Show” went off the air for good. I have been experiencing What I like to call “Aots Withdrwal” since the show went bye bye.

I will admit, and I really don’t care if I sound sappy or nuts, but I feel so empty right now. I have been trying to fill in the void with healthy alternatives, like watching Porn, Drinking various beverages, imagining women naked, fapping, and even playing Video Games – all to no avail.

I would try drugs – But that is a slippery slope…plus, I have no idea where and how to score weed, and with my luck, I would fail tremendously.

So…I thought I would give talking about something really cool I got in the mail in the latter half of November 2012…..

During the last LIVE episode of “Attack of The Show”, several devoted fans who tweeted in to that show, got a “AOTS” Swag bag. Many got one of these grand packages, including yours truly.

I took pictures of the contents (and no there are no naked women):



The Contents are (clockwise from lower left): 2 Paper Notebooks with hard plastic covers, both bearing the G4 logo and the front– 2 “Attack of the Show” Pens, A G4 Tote Bag, A G4 Cap (ALWAYS WANTED ONE OF THESE), a HUGE G4 Sticker, and a LCD Screen cleaner (Center).

OH! And A G4 Pin! :



It’s on the Tote Bag. Not bad yes?

However, and yes I am Boasting about this. My Swag bag has something none of the others have (as far as I know). Rick Damigella (Social Media TV expert and veteran TV production professional and Music aficionado), had tweeted me some DM’s Thanking me for watching the Show for all those years (Watched it for 7 years, and missed only 7 Episodes live). He decided to include something extra in a my bag of goodies.

You know those signs they put on doors for celebrities? I forget what they are called, but they help indicating whose dressing rooms are for guests they are going to interview..

I want to say “Door Signs” – yeah, that sounds right. Anyway, I got quite a number of them, as you can see:




And as you can also see – every one of them is autographed. How epic is that? Don’t be hatin’ now.

And to answer the question buzzing around in some of your heads – I’m not selling them.

Big Shoutout to Rick Damigella for the extras goodies. You can follow him on Twitter @LinerNotes. Tell him PlayBoyMan sent ya.

Laters   read


3:38 PM on 01.20.2013  

Attack of the Show and X-Play go bye-bye this week ;_;

The two shows that put G4TV on the map (And were mainly the only two shows that anyone watched on the network), are airing their final episodes this week. Attack of the Show, which has been on for 8 years and has given us TONS of lols, OMG, OMFG, and BOOBIES! moments, is going to air it's final 3 episodes this week, starting Monday, with the last episode airing this Wednesday.

Also airing Wednesday will be the final episode of X-Play, a tried and true classic - THE go to for the vast majority of all my game buys, for the last 10 years (in YOUR face, IGN!).

Even after hearing the news a few months ago, I still don't understand why these shows are getting the chop. And what really sucks is the fact that I won't have anything to watch from 6-8pm, Monday-Friday....except for Tabloid TV shows.

Oh ye gamer gods...what have we done to offend thee?

Anyway...I'm gonna watch and record the final episodes of these wonderful shows, and I suggest that you all tune in and enjoy all the awesomeness these two shows have given us over the years.

And because I love to wax poetic about the cool stuff, I'll end this short blog post with this clip From Attack of the Show, uploaded 3 years ago to Youtube. There is a very cool moment at 1:12 of the video.

By the Way, in case you forgotten my name: I'm PlayBoyMan. Just saying.



Lots of <3 to everyone who worked on Attack and X-Play. I'd buy you all a drink, but I don't wanna.
Laters   read


12:00 PM on 01.11.2013  

A Quick Statement on Gun Control…

Note: This was originally posted on my other blogs, which are NSFW. I have edited this entry, so has not to upset any users who are/might be offended by strong language.

I am Pro-Gun. I do feel its alright for me to have access to a gun for protection. I LOVE guns. I enjoy playing Games and watching movies that have guns in them (Rambo, Grand Theft Auto, The Expendables 1 & 2, and even 3 when it comes out).

But I do NOT feel like I should have the same guns the Army has, i.e. Assault Rifles, unless I join the fracking Army.

It only takes one Bullet aimed in the right place on a person to stop or kill them. A Shotgun and or a Handgun can do the same thing - stop someone in their tracks.

I don’t want or need an assault rifle – it’s what we common sense folk like to call “Overkill”.

The Ownership of Assault Rifles, and the mad need to buy them all up is based on fear, mistrust, and crazy morons that don’t like common sense, like the NRA, and any Right Wing nutjob who thinks we are getting rid of all guns (we aren’t btw).

Gun Control is not the ultimate solution, and too many people think that is the case. It’s not. It’s Part of the solution. There are many issues that must be resolved, and Gun Control is one of them.

Laters   read







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